Relationships with providers

Igoforit's Avatar
Is it ever okay to develop a relationship and have feelings for your providers and do you providers ever develop feelings for your clients?
shorty's Avatar
Depends on what you call a relationship. If your talking about friendship, yes. I'm friends with several ladies and we talk about once a week or so. We talk about various subjects in our lives.

If your talking about trying to take the next step towards seeing a provider as a SO, no. Got to remember that an experienced lady treats you like a BF while she's with you and nothing more. This is all a fantasy with some good actresses.
Old-T's Avatar
  • Old-T
  • 06-05-2011, 01:27 PM
Is it ever OK to have feelings for a provider? Absolutely it’s OK. I have people in all lines of work who I tolerate, others I like, others I have become friends with. I’ve been to ball games, dinners, and all sorts of other functions with people who I met through work and became friends with. I find it no different at all to develop feelings of friendship with ladies in this business and have a number of very good provider friends.

Romantic feelings are a different thing, but again I see little difference between this and other encounters as far as repeated contact with someone may lead to romantic feelings on one side, the other, or both. In fact, given the very personal nature of the business it seems it’s more likely to happen here. That in and of itself I don’t see as a problem.

I think there are two big concerns, however.

First, too many of both sexes—but it seems more men than women—mistake lust for love. That happens far too often in the “real” world with all the teen-aged marriages that never really had a chance at success, and this business seems to make a lot of 30 y/o, 40 y/o, and even 60 y/o men act like 18 year olds. But again, is this any different than the 50 year old guy who dumps his wife of 27 years for the 20 year old secretary? Not really.

Second, because part of a lady’s job in this business is roll playing, men often forget that the surface emotion on her face and words is just part of the roll. Any potential romantic feelings need a hell of a lot of COMMUNICATION to see if the other person feels the same way, or if there is any chance of a relationship developing or not.

Does it work both ways? Yes, it does. And it can work, though there are a lot of roadblocks to making it work, some unique to the line of work. I know some ladies who have developed romantic feelings for clients that lead to long term relationships and marriages (I've been invited to two). Some worked out well, some did not. Exactly like it does with real humans in any other line of work.

I did fall in love with one lady, unfortunately she sees me as only a very good friend. I have had a different lady fall in love with me, but I only have great friendship towards her—not love. In each case we evolve to make the relationships work, not an easy thing.
Well said Old-T, I couldn't have said it any better myself!
Pink Floyd's Avatar
You cannot control "having feelings" for someone, we have not evolved to the point where we can turn that on and off. You just have to know that, in all but the rarest cases, you are buying an illusion of love. It is like falling in love with a picture, but in this case it is a picture you can reach out and touch.
Cpalmson's Avatar
Gee, not another thread on feelings/falling in love with a provider/client.
Of course it's ok, why even ask permission?... You feel what you feel.
Dragon7769's Avatar
Of course it's ok, why even ask permission?... You feel what you feel. Originally Posted by Valerie
winner...

and to add


That doesn't mean they feel the same way.
It's a mistake, either way.
offshoredrilling's Avatar
I go to a bar where providers once roamed free. Now its mmm ok we will stick with providers to be nice. There have been about 12 marriages of client/provider. Its been about 50/50 for how they worked out. Many more long term just friends relations. Hobby is not the place to look. But anything can happen.
Chica Chaser's Avatar
One would think we would wear this subject out! Where's Isis, this is one of her favorite subjects.
offshoredrilling's Avatar
She's been posting in upstate ny a lot this week end. She will find her way back I bet. lol
shorty's Avatar
Isis is probably being a hobbyist GF and giving it up for free!!
Eccie Addict's Avatar
^ Still Looking is gonna be pissed...lol
Of course it's ok, why even ask permission?... You feel what you feel. Originally Posted by Valerie
I really want to feel Valerie!!