National Fuck A Fat Man Day

For those of you who have been following it in the media, my campaign to make "Fuck A Fat Man Day" a national holiday has made some significant progress.

Primarily, as you probably already noticed, the name has been abbreviated to make it more inclusive and more user-friendly. There's no doubt about it. National "Fuck a Short, Fat, Goofy-looking Man with Glasses Day" just wasn't working. The guys who wear contacts were feeling ostracized, and let's face it, the name was just too damn long to fit on a bumper sticker.

The new name is a great leap forward, and we embrace it with tremendous enthusiasm.

There's also good news on the Washington front. On my latest trip to our nation's capital, I spent several days lobbying congress directly, and several distinguished members assured me that they are deeply committed to making sure EVERYONE gets fucked.

Thank God for democracy. God bless America.

On the downside, however, the once-thriving petition drive has slowed to a near stand-still, and my door-to-door efforts to solicit active involvement in the Fuck A Fat Man campaign have proven fruitless.

But fear not. Those of us who care deeply about Fuck a Fat Man Day are used to mounting much larger challenges than this. Working together, I know our day will come. The promised land awaits the horizontally challenged.

With that goal in mind, I want to invite all of you to roll up your sleeves and hop on board. Believe me. Every set of hands working the issue makes a profound and meaningful difference.

Plain and simple, we can't do it without you.

So, if you would like to lend your support to make Fuck a Fat Man Day a reality, please respond with your Curriculum Vitae or generous donation.

And thank you again for your support.

As a fellow fat man, I endorse this message for Cajun Country!!

I love them healthy !!

I am sad to say this campaign has temporarily been put on hold. It turns out that most fat men would like to get laid more than one day a year.

I hear that bro. I remain your fearless follower in you cause. Keep me posted from the front.

LMAO

lol. interesting campaign