Exclusive "Mistress" type of Arrangement

First, I would like to know what your definition of an Exclusive Arrangement is. Is it truly exclusive...? And how would you describe it being different than ...say the experience you have with your atf, or just traditional escorts for that matter?

Have you ever considered going into this type of arrangement with a provider who offers it? Now such ladies are probably rare and few in between, but the quality of the experience they offer is usually worth it.

If you're a provider, how do you feel about going into such an arrangement? Does it appeal to you or not?

I think the question that comes foremost to mind is, well how do you know the lady will honor seeing only one gentleman for a certain time, monthly etc arrangement? You can certainly get a feel if the lady does a good job of expressing such 'loyalty', but the truth is she could have an exclusive arrangement with one more gentleman, at the same time and no one would know LOL

Ironically, I once came across a provider who offered an exclusive and semi-exclusive arrangement. Obviously one cost a heck lot more than the other. Semi-exclusive?? What's that? Either you're exclusive, or you're not. Why complicate things?

Personally speaking, I would be and have been just honest up front about my 'love life' preferences. I am a very low-volume, yet truly polyamorous companion. If I desired going into an exclusive arrangement, I would get married...adopt a few kids. Happy Ever After. Though a polygamous marriage would probably be more to my liking

I couldn't lie about something that's so inherent in my nature. I love variety. It's the reason for living

If I desired going into an exclusive arrangement, I would get married...adopt a few kids. Happy Ever After. Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

that's what i was thinking... 'isn't that just called 'dating' '?

Yes, that would be marriage!! I already have one of those but, here I am!! Not sure there is such a thing as an "exclusive" hobby arrangement.

By the way Ms. Zabrina, I was just wondering.... Who is Chicago's #2 Middle-eastern provider??

Someone that's looking for an exclusive or even semi-exclusive arrangement isn't looking for a hooker. There looking for more of a SB deal. Most hookers still want to charge hourly or so many times a month. As someone has said before, Hookers make terrible Sugar Babies!!

I've done it. They were SD/SB arrangements. They were each different from the other, but they were nothing like the provider/client relationship. The best way to describe the difference is that they provided the financial benefit in addition to the romance, not in exchange for it. They required a much deeper connection on every level, like a BF/GF relationship, but we weren't accountable to each other. We stayed in touch, called and texted when we weren't together, but I wasn't a beckon-call girl. I just didn't have relationships with anyone else.

There is no sure fire way to tell if a woman has more than one benefactor unless they go digging. My guys would have never known because they trusted me, but I earned it and lived up to it. I am in my element with monogamy, so it is no strain to turn down other offers.

But I don't think an SB is the same as s provider (others will vehemently disagree). So I do wonder if it is different for providers who offer the exclusive arrangement. Does she use the business model or does she take it to the next level, personally? If she can't or won't do the latter, what happens to her other clients when someone wants her full time? Does she deny them when they call?

And does the hobbyist that wants exclusivity want to take it to the next level or is he simply paying for on-demand companionship from his favorite provider?

I agree, if you are, by nature, polyamorous, there is no need for you to go that route. There is plenty to be had in your preferred approach.

Ladies, if you are looking for a SB. Look no further. I can be exclusive to multiple women at on time. My 1.3" of dangling death is legendary, I chew kitty like no other, and I am almost house broken. If you interested in tainted time just start PMing.

I've done it. They were SD/SB arrangements. They were each different from the other, but they were nothing like the provider/client relationship. The best way to describe the difference is that they provided the financial benefit in addition to the romance, not in exchange for it. They required a much deeper connection on every level, like a BF/GF relationship, but we weren't accountable to each other. We stayed in touch, called and texted when we weren't together, but I wasn't a beckon-call girl. I just didn't have relationships with anyone else.

There is no sure fire way to tell if a woman has more than one benefactor unless they go digging. My guys would have never known because they trusted me, but I earned it and lived up to it. I am in my element with monogamy, so it is no strain to turn down other offers.

But I don't think an SB is the same as s provider (others will vehemently disagree). So I do wonder if it is different for providers who offer the exclusive arrangement. Does she use the business model or does she take it to the next level, personally? If she can't or won't do the latter, what happens to her other clients when someone wants her full time? Does she deny them when they call?

And does the hobbyist that wants exclusivity want to take it to the next level or is he simply paying for on-demand companionship from his favorite provider?

I agree, if you are, by nature, polyamorous, there is no need for you to go that route. There is plenty to be had in your preferred approach. Originally Posted by Vivienne Rey

See...that's where the line blurs, for the quality of experience offered - between sd/sb, exclusive arrangements, your atf...they could all be the same thing, just disguised under different fancy terminology to provide some type of illusion

And something else I've noticed about sugardaddies is even most of them don't want something truly exclusive. They want a few sugarbabies, maybe in each city, they don't want to spend it all on just one. Which naturally sets an expectation with sugarbabies, that they gotta have more than one guy to bring them to their financial goal

I believe humans need variety in their partners, it's unrealistic and unhealthy to expect one person to be All, to satisfy the emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, etc, and keep them satisfied. Why do you have to 'try' put in extra effort to make monogamous relationships work in the long haul? - because it's not something natural.

And as for providers offering exclusive/semi-exclusive, I have seen very few who do this, and of course they can. They can play the role of a traditional provider, and they can switch and play the role of an exclusive mistress. Especially if it's something they include in their marketing, you would expect them to take it seriously.

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I believe humans need variety in their partners, it's unrealistic and unhealthy to expect one person to be All, to satisfy the emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, etc, and keep them satisfied. Why do you have to 'try' put in extra effort to make monogamous relationships work in the long haul? - because it's not something natural. Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

There is a difference between a need and a want. Monogamy is natural, so is promiscuity. It's a choice. Parenthood is the #1 reason for monogamy. Sometimes it's not about you, but somebody else.

FYI, nobody gets it "All"

See...that's where the line blurs, for the quality of experience offered - between sd/sb, exclusive arrangements, your atf...they could all be the same thing, just disguised under different fancy terminology to provide some type of illusion Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

The line blurs for some, sure, but not for everyone. There are a lot of people who presume to define it for everyone, even when they have never done it. But even if you have, it still will depend on your approach. If it means nothing more than pay for play to you, it will be transactional. If you want more and are capable of more, then you can have more. It was never an illusion for me or my benefactors. No disguising it under a fancy name. To do so would suggest I have something to prove or something to hide. I simply don't care that much.

And something else I've noticed about sugardaddies is even most of them don't want something truly exclusive. They want a few sugarbabies, maybe in each city, they don't want to spend it all on just one. Which naturally sets an expectation with sugarbabies, that they gotta have more than one guy to bring them to their financial goal.

That is the opposite of the feedback I have received. There are varying levels of sugar, sure. And I am sure there are some men with the kind of disposable income it takes to support several women. But most of the men I talked to said they were burned by women who ended up taking on multiple SD's. They don't typically like to shell out X amount per week/month or pay her rent and bills so she can turn around and sleep with someone else.

I believe humans need variety in their partners, it's unrealistic and unhealthy to expect one person to be All, to satisfy the emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, etc, and keep them satisfied. Why do you have to 'try' put in extra effort to make monogamous relationships work in the long haul? - because it's not something natural.

I never bought into that. It sounds like something out of The Animal Planet. Some people want it and some don't. Some people are equipped for it and some aren't. Those who aren't and choose to enter into monogamous relationships set themselves up to fail. Their choices are why they fail.

And as for providers offering exclusive/semi-exclusive, I have seen very few who do this, and of course they can. They can play the role of a traditional provider, and they can switch and play the role of an exclusive mistress. Especially if it's something they include in their marketing, you would expect them to take it seriously.

I'm sure they can switch. That's the nature of the biz. I meant are they playing a role or are they actually taking it to the next level? I ask because the criteria changes for me if I am going to be "exclusive" to one man. The connection has to be significant. But that's just me.

I don't get "semi-exclusive" though. Maybe it means "limited availability" or "low volume" in this arena?

There is a difference between a need and a want. Monogamy is natural, so is promiscuity. It's a choice. Parenthood is the #1 reason for monogamy. Sometimes it's not about you, but somebody else.

FYI, nobody gets it "All" Originally Posted by Uncle Han

Sure you have the power to choose. I would prefer to be a vegetarian and I have tried but because of health issues I came back to what is natural for my body - meat. I feel monogamy appears to be natural mainly because it is the widely recognized encouraged accepted social norm world-wide. Just like how they brainwash little girls to believe in One man, prince charming.

Then of course due to the influence of social norm and perhaps religion you place preferences of what is right and wrong, do whatever the church tells you is right. Brainwash

...the truth's not always clear up front. but it comes to you sooner or later

Parenthood also plays a huge factor in ending marriages, when the "honeymoon" phase is over, the responsibility of kids, trying to keep the passion alive, suddenly other people seem very attractive... and there's absolutely nothing 'wrong' with that. Just your biological nature

And not sure what you mean by noone gets All. Of course you can find all those traits in different people. That's easy. Trying to find all those traits in One person ...can happen, but I wouldn't put your life hold waiting for it lol

But even if you have, it still will depend on your approach. If it means nothing more than pay for play to you, it will be transactional. If you want more and are capable of more, then you can have more.

But that's the thing. You can find more in all those categories if both people want it which is why I said the line can blur. Different titles, same possibilities

That is the opposite of the feedback I have received. There are varying levels of sugar, sure. And I am sure there are some men with the kind of disposable income it takes to support several women. But most of the men I talked to said they were burned by women who ended up taking on multiple SD's. They don't typically like to shell out X amount per week/month or pay her rent and bills so she can turn around and sleep with someone else.

Maybe I shouldn't have stated most sd's, I don't truly know what the stats are, who's done the research??

I would say that I believe the traditional sd/sb is supposed to be singularly exclusive, however it's become such a hot trend right now, all over the media, all kinds of people are jumping on the train and making it into whatever they want.

I never bought into that. It sounds like something out of The Animal Planet. Some people want it and some don't. Some people are equipped for it and some aren't. Those who aren't and choose to enter into monogamous relationships set themselves up to fail. Their choices are why they fail.

Haha that's what I first thought when I saw an episode of it on Seinfeld. Has anyone seen that? It really pissed me off back then because I had grown up with such a standard defining role of how relationships should be. I firmly felt in my heart that monogamous was natural and the 'right' thing. The thought of being in a loving relationship with several people simultaneously seemed inconceivable. I am So glad my paradigm has evolved!!! Otherwise I would be missing out on a lot of Fun ...and growth and maturity and all that jazz

I'm sure they can switch. That's the nature of the biz. I meant are they playing a role or are they actually taking it to the next level? I ask because the criteria changes for me if I am going to be "exclusive" to one man. The connection has to be significant. But that's just me.

I think some offer it as just another character of their role playing repertoire. But I think in large part, most providers would be sincere about it and be willing and open to taking it to the next level, also depending on like you said the significance of the connection

But we also have other women who only offer pure exclusivity, not as a role or something you can get to, but ...that's all they can offer. That's who they are

I think that's sexy

I don't get "semi-exclusive" though. Maybe it means "limited availability" or "low volume" in this arena?

Yes very low-volume. Maybe 2-3 monthly benefactors Originally Posted by Vivienne Rey

I would say that I believe the traditional sd/sb is supposed to be singularly exclusive, however it's become such a hot trend right now, all over the media, all kinds of people are jumping on the train and making it into whatever they want.

I agree. It used the be equivalent of a mistress. A real, not performed, relationship. Now it's saturated with hookers and johns....lol.

Haha that's what I first thought when I saw an episode of it on Seinfeld. Has anyone seen that? It really pissed me off back then because I had grown up with such a standard defining role of how relationships should be. I firmly felt in my heart that monogamous was natural and the 'right' thing. The thought of being in a loving relationship with several people simultaneously seemed inconceivable. I am So glad my paradigm has evolved!!! Otherwise I would be missing out on a lot of Fun ...and growth and maturity and all that jazz

We all define what is right for us. Whether or not we are responsible about it is what makes US right or wrong, good or bad. Do what is organic to you and seek out those who want the same. If you wanna sing Barney's theme song while gluing gummi bears to your boobles, by golly, someone out there will be all over it.

If you wanna sing Barney's theme song while gluing gummi bears to your boobles, by golly, someone out there will be all over it. Originally Posted by Vivienne Rey

OMG I loved Barney and used to sing that i love you song every night before going to bed when I was little. I refused to go to bed without my stuffed Barney who also sang the song. Sigh, good ol' innocent days of my early youth

Ok back to the subject. You got me all distracted with Barney lol

Vivienne,

I would be curious to know (if you would enjoy sharing) how would you go about marketing yourself as someone to be offering an exclusive arrangement? How would you advertise it, (other than the obvious 'I offer and am seeking an exclusive arrangement')? Would you advertise on provider or sd/sb ad sites? Obviously you would have to use different terminology, tell a different story to describe the experience you offer. What would make you sound different than the rest? Or what's to be found with you, that others might not offer? Would you allow to be reviewed to build your rep? Would there be a 'contract' that a gentleman has to stay true to the agreement, would you have a certain amount of times that you could see each other or whatever goes skies the limit...

What's so Tantalizing about an exclusive arrangement with say...you? Please share all or some of the juicy details with us...

Ok back to the subject. You got me all distracted with Barney lol

Vivienne,

I would be curious to know (if you would enjoy sharing) how would you go about marketing yourself as someone to be offering an exclusive arrangement? How would you advertise it, (other than the obvious 'I offer and am seeking an exclusive arrangement')? Would you advertise on provider or sd/sb ad sites? Obviously you would have to use different terminology, tell a different story to describe the experience you offer. What would make you sound different than the rest? Or what's to be found with you, that others might not offer? Would you allow to be reviewed to build your rep? Would there be a 'contract' that a gentleman has to stay true to the agreement, would you have a certain amount of times that you could see each other or whatever goes skies the limit...

What's so Tantalizing about an exclusive arrangement with say...you? Please share all or some of the juicy details with us... Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

I'm happy to share.

I am always open to an exclusive arrangement, but it is a totally different world for me. My experience is far different from what people here describe.

I would advertise on SD/SB sites if I was actively seeking it. I have never heard of reviews in the SD/SB arena. I really don't think it exists.

I treated it like I would any other relationship. There had to be a solid basis of friendship, chemistry, mutual respect and common interests - the full package. It wasn't easy. As you probably already know, a lot of the people on those sites are nothing more than hookers and johns looking to skirt the law (can't blame them for trying, really). I wanted someone experienced in the old school SD/SB. They are, typically, looking for the same things I am. And I don't want to convince anyone of what it is or isn't. There are hoards of flying ignorami who have never done it who will literally insist on telling me what it is all about and what I "really" want. Ain't nobody got time for that.

It's all marketing, no matter what arena of dating you're in. But it wasn't a business model. I was targeting a specific kind of man and, in doing so, I stood out to them.

There was no contract. There was an agreed upon arrangement based on our expectations and limitations. How much time we spent together just depended on our availability and what we wanted. And we were free to end it at any time. I'm all about free will. Stay if you wanna stay, go if you wanna go.

I received a lot of compliments on my ads. But I think what made me different was that I was looking for and offering the real deal and that really came through. When I agree to pursue a relationship with an SD, they can rest assured that I am not faking it. I would take a $500 a week allowance with a man I can't keep my hands off of over $2,500 a week with someone I merely tolerate. But I am this way across the board. I want to connect and I want to enjoy my relationships, professional and personal. Even here. I offer extended engagements because I love the dating experience. I want to create that connection. I want to enjoy it, not just go through the motions.