How much information is TOO MUCH information???

A few months ago, I started chatting with a potential client on YIM. He expressed a desire to see me whenever I could make it to his area, and we've kept in contact since his request. During one of our chat sessions, he clued me in to the fact that he is VERY active in the swinger lifestyle. Although I don't think swinging is my cup of tea (I can't say it isn't because I've never tried it). I had no issues with him volunteering this information, and it did NOTHING to change my opinion of him as a potential client. The issue developed the more we chatted. The more comfortable he got with me, the more he would tell. I was ok with everything until he started to brag about how he loves to swing because of all the unprotected sex he gets to have with other guy's wives. He would literally boast about guys catching his "fluids" as they seeped out of the wife. Now, as I said, to each his own. But, now I feel a certain way about seeing him. I mean, I know that everyone has their own real life habits, but how am I supposed to feel comfortable when he's bragging about something that's as sensitive as unprotected sex with multiple partners and I'm a BBBJ provider?? I think I am well justified in the second thoughts I'm having, but am I possibly overreacting? How much information is TMI?

P.S. If YOU are reading this, please do not take offense. I did NOT include a name/handle/location/any other information that would serve as an identifier. As you can see, I'm trying to see your side of things by asking for unbiased opinions.

I agree with your concerns on this issue, I am a swinger myself or have been I guess I should say.....I have always been very picky with whom I played with and we ALWAYS played safe. But in the swinger lifestyle, so many people want to wear blinders and say "Their my friends, and their swingers, so they must be clean"........wrong STDs can be found everywhere and on anyone, and ever thought your swinger client could blame it on his swinging play instead of hobby play, other can not. Since joining the hobby my swinger and dating days of play have almost come to a stop, as I will not fight with ANYONE about wearing a condom, this should be a given. Stay safe and follow your gut.........

Walk away Elle.

@OP--

Safety should be your first concern. In this case in which you have a reasonable suspicion the guy might be carrying an STD (and no test can clear him due to the time issues), I would suggest you do nothing that was unprotected. If you even see him that is. Hobbying always has a certain amount of risk. But it is prudent to reduce it as much as possible.

In this particular case, the guy has made it abundantly clear that he commonly engages in unprotected sex with multiple partners. Who knows, maybe he swings both ways? If I were in your shoes (and thank God I'm not) I think I would decline to see him. Or if I did, everything would be protected, and there would be no kissing. Exchanging body fluids of any kind would be a no-no.

A few months ago, I started chatting with a potential client on YIM. He expressed a desire to see me whenever I could make it to his area, and we've kept in contact since his request. During one of our chat sessions, he clued me in to the fact that he is VERY active in the swinger lifestyle. Although I don't think swinging is my cup of tea (I can't say it isn't because I've never tried it). I had no issues with him volunteering this information, and it did NOTHING to change my opinion of him as a potential client. The issue developed the more we chatted. The more comfortable he got with me, the more he would tell. I was ok with everything until he started to brag about how he loves to swing because of all the unprotected sex he gets to have with other guy's wives. He would literally boast about guys catching his "fluids" as they seeped out of the wife. Now, as I said, to each his own. But, now I feel a certain way about seeing him. I mean, I know that everyone has their own real life habits, but how am I supposed to feel comfortable when he's bragging about something that's as sensitive as unprotected sex with multiple partners and I'm a BBBJ provider?? I think I am well justified in the second thoughts I'm having, but am I possibly overreacting? How much information is TMI?

P.S. If YOU are reading this, please do not take offense. I did NOT include a name/handle/location/any other information that would serve as an identifier. As you can see, I'm trying to see your side of things by asking for unbiased opinions.

Originally Posted by Lovelyelle_01

I would probabaly walk away as you already have concerns and a predetermined position (rightfully so). Protected BBBJ and intercourse does not guarrantee 100% protection as we all no shit happens e.g.comdom breaks. As you stated to each their own, but anyone boasting having unprotected sex with multiple partners none the less, obviously struggles with making rational decissions.

I would also suspect that one reason for him bringing it up is to see how you react. I would wager he is trying to see if you would do BBFS. I could be wrong, but it is the firstthought that came to my mind.

There is no zero risk session, but in this case it seems you are looking at a relatively high risk situation.

Just think about how many guys you see that engage in the same activities as he does but don't share that information with you... Ignorance is bliss.

Just think about how many guys you see that engage in the same activities as he does but don't share that information with you... Ignorance is bliss. Originally Posted by Shayla

I agree, Shayla. That was my first thought. It's not that I would rather NOT know. But, I don't ask questions that I'm not prepared to handle the answers to. He volunteered this. I'm actually glad that he did. Maybe his boasting was a sign of reckless abandon in his sexual life. Maybe not, but the bragging was reckless, nevertheless.

@OP--

Safety should be your first concern. In this case in which you have a reasonable suspicion the guy might be carrying an STD (and no test can clear him due to the time issues), I would suggest you do nothing that was unprotected. If you even see him that is. Hobbying always has a certain amount of risk. But it is prudent to reduce it as much as possible.

In this particular case, the guy has made it abundantly clear that he commonly engages in unprotected sex with multiple partners. Who knows, maybe he swings both ways? If I were in your shoes (and thank God I'm not) I think I would decline to see him. Or if I did, everything would be protected, and there would be no kissing. Exchanging body fluids of any kind would be a no-no. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

That's where the "issue" comes into play. I'm a VERY hands on GFE Provider, so unless a client actually requested that we not kiss, it's kind of a necessity for me. I don't think I can see someone who I have to hold back with because there will be an obvious disconnect present. Regardless to what he prefers in his private time, no client deserves to get anything less (unless specifically requested) than "myself" if I choose to see him.

I would also suspect that one reason for him bringing it up is to see how you react. I would wager he is trying to see if you would do BBFS. I could be wrong, but it is the firstthought that came to my mind.

There is no zero risk session, but in this case it seems you are looking at a relatively high risk situation. Originally Posted by Old-T

I thought about this as well. When he first mentioned that the sex he has while swinging was unprotected, I told him that that was crazy and I could never do it. I actually called him a liar, because I really did not believe that swingers would act in such a careless manner (not speaking of/generalizing all swingers, only the ones he was referring to). He said he understood the risks of escorts not being able to work that way, but it was cool among swingers because most are committed couples (which is a very odd rationalization IMHO). That's when he started bragging about it, even complaining that he couldn't find any local couples/ladies in his new area to play with.

I think he volunteered a perfect amount of information to allow you to make an informed decision..... lol.

There is such a thing as tmi but I think that is more along the lines of talking about things that would be a mood killer or if you opened your mouth and said something dumb

He obviously shared TMI for you because it is making you have second thoughts. And I agree that might have been his way of testing you to see if you might be open to bbfs.

It honestly sounds like that guy was probably whacking off when he was talking to you.

It honestly sounds like that guy was probably whacking off when he was talking to you. Originally Posted by Shayla

+ 1
some guys in "chat" seem to just want to "talk" about it. He sounds like a classic example of it, if he is detailing things like that (cim/guys).

I would drop him like a bad habit girl, for many reasons. (unless your bored and want to sex chat lol )

Any information that makes me uncomfortable is TMI, I have had providers tell me who they slept with - famous people, football players, band members, names we all know. I am not there to hear her conquests, TMI and no I did not see her again. I am there for the fantasy, and well that kinda kills it for me. Why this guy revealed that info is irrelevant to me, the fact that it makes you uncomfortable is all I need to know that it was TMI.