Reality vs Fantasy

I am going to make an assumption here that most of you (especially gents) who are into, shall we say, non-traditional activities in the bedroom, fantasized about it before acting on it.

So my question is, do you draw the line between your fantasies and acting on them? Or, do you think that if you fantasize about it you will eventually act on it? If so, why? If not, why not?

Most of the things I have fantasized about, I end up doing. Depending on what they are, though, the activities may take some working up to. There are some that are probably destined to remain in the fantasy realm.... sadly.

As to the why behind it all.... well, one answer to the 'working up to it' stuff is physics - it takes time to be able to physically (or mentally) accomplish certain things. And the ones that are destined to remain fantasies... real life issues around disease possibilities and the simple fact that I'm a wuss in the pain department. ;-)

I had fantasies years before I acted on them, and I haven't acted on all the fantasies I've had. Part of it is reticence to ask for those activities. Part of it is not being able to find a suitable partner for the activities. Part of it is that the activities I desire are more expensive than most and I can't afford them. Also, part of it is that the menu in which I am interested is hard to match. And finally, part of it is that it is really hard to communicate bluntly with a provider ahead of time because they all think you're LE.

Edrienne, your comments makes me wonder what role STDs have played in reducing fantasy play over the years, if it indeed has.

Charles, I have heard both sides of your complaint. I have heard some of the more experienced guys say talk about it ahead of time. But I think most of the ladies are leery. From that standpoint, I think you need to invest some time in some vanilla play with a lady until she feels comfortable with you. But yeah, time isn't the only thing that has to be invested for that. Catch-22, I guess.

I believe that some of the fantasies that the ladies "might" have are rather debasing. And so it's going to be difficult to actually find someone (or three or four) people, places or things to accomplish whatever fantasy one might have.

I'm guessing that if I was going to do this at all that I would prefer the company of strangers and well, some of these fantasies are dangerous anyway ... hence, for me, they remain in the mind and not outside of and certainly not in reality.

Which is a disappointment in itself.

Elisabeth

P.S. Edrienne, it's so nice to see you post!!!

Thanks, Elisabeth!

BarneyRubble: I sincerely doubt the concern over STDs has historically had much impact on folks acting out fantasies. I'd imagine that only the last 20 years or so might have seen some impact from that.

Consider. For the vast majority of history, people had no clue what STDs were (let alone how they were transmitted) and attributed everything, good or bad, to the gods/fate/satan/etc. In the modern era, even after identifying the fact of/transmission methods for STDs, we saw the Free Love Era of the 60's/70's followed by the excesses of the party culture of the 80's/90's. AIDS wouldn't have been the epidemic it was during that time if concern over safe/sane play were paramount.

Well,

I make it a practice to turn my fantasies into realities. And I have a few left looking for willing partners in creme, oops, I mean crime...

Apply via PM, let's see who has better ones... LOL!

PPE

When I was younger I think I was reticent about asking for what I wanted from fear of being labelled abnormal. I think you have to accept yourself and get comfortable with your wants before you're comfortable asking.

I do still have a personal bucket list, but as soon as I cross one item off - I add two.

Some fantasies I act on and some I think are better left a fantasy. Not because one may be more outside the sandbox bandwidth, but because, well probably because, I’m not ready to act on said fantasy.

One time I tried to tell my ex what I wanted to try. She didn't even hide her disgust, called me a perv. So, I kept every fantasy to myself for quite some time. But after my divorce (did anyone see that coming-lol) I dated a lady for awhile who was into roleplay and she really opened my mind. It's still scary to admit how extreme some of my fantasies are, but I am much less worried about someone's reaction than I used to be. I am fairly comfortable with who I am. Besides, it's all in fun. I am not defined by my kinks, it's just a part of me.

This is me totally agreeing with Babee.

My problem is that I never know when I'm in reality.