This is the funniest thing i've seen in quite a long time. It actually really does sound like some of the emails and questions that escorts get from inexperienced hobbyists all the time.
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/6695715/
Tune in next week for "Life with Lily"! In the next episode, Lily gets a phone call from a hobbyist who is breathing heavy into the phone. Lily breaths heavily in return. Will it all escalate into a panting and moaning adventure... or will she realize it just Urhuckleberry again!! Don't miss the next episode entitled Gone with the Wind.
Hobbyist: I don't really have any references except for (name of meth head who has been arrested more times than I have fingers). But trust me honey, I'm a doctor, a good-looking guy, have a really big cock, and you'll end up cumming more than I will. You'll be glad we met.
(I know I know, I should have hung up right then, but I have to get my entertainment from somewhere, so I thought I'd give him a minute for laughs)
Lily: Well that's great! But unfortunately I can't screen people based on how many times they think I'll cum. How about I screen you through your place of business? Don't worry, I'll be totally discreet.
Hobbyist: Goddamnit! Some of you girls think you're really somethin'. Getting an appointment with you guys is harder than getting a passport!
Lily: Well I'm sorry you feel offended by my attempts at keeping things safe and professional. You should maybe stick to the ladies you've already been seeing.
Hobbyist: No, wait! I'm sorry. I'm just nervous and prefer to keep things more private, but I really want to see you. What info do you need?
Lily: Well, I'll need your real, full name and the name of your business.
Hobbyist: ok, makes me nervous but I understand. Oh, by the way, I was checking out your rates earlier and was wondering if you ever did like a half hour introductory thing for maybe $150.
Lily: Um, no I don't. All the packages I offer are listed on my website.
Hobbyist: Oh ok, just thought I'd ask. No problem. Ok you check my info and I'll call you back after I figure out my schedule.
Twenty minutes later.....
Lily: Yeah everything seems fine. When did you want to meet?
Hobbyist: Im not sure, I don't have a lot of time today. Maybe just thirty minutes in the afternoon. Are you sure you couldn't do just an introductory thing for maybe $175?
Lily: Im pretty sure we already covered that.
Hobbyist: Baby, you should know that I don't really need to pay for it. I'm a really good looking guy and I can most of the time just pick somebody up in a bar. I promise you babe, you will not be disappointed. You're gonna have the best orgasm you've ever had. So let's work out a half hour deal because I KNOW you'll have a great time, but I think it's only fair that we work something out so that I get to sample the goods. What do you think?
Lily: Click. Originally Posted by Blond_Lily
Tune in next week for "Life with Lily"! In the next episode, Lily gets a phone call from a hobbyist who is breathing heavy into the phone. Lily breaths heavily in return. Will it all escalate into a panting and moaning adventure... or will she realize it just Urhuckleberry again!! Don't miss the next episode entitled Gone with the Wind.
Smooch!
Lea Originally Posted by Lea Madisson
Can I get a drive-by special for $75? Originally Posted by SlowHand49I had a guy ask me one time what he could get for forty bucks (he sounded early twenties) so I told him for that much I'd wave at him from my front porch and he could just throw the donation on my front lawn
Lily, can I get a discount for admitting that I have a shitty job, I am ugly, that I have a small cock, and I'll probably cum several times before you even felt a tingle? Originally Posted by Caligula