I'm bored so 25 Random Things

25 Things

1. Blu e-cig with high nicotine coffee cartridge.

2. Quick Temper, slow mind

3. A picture of you know who showing me her you know what on my phone

4. Popsicle's, assorted flavors

5. Adam & Eve Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner

6. Well worn dog-eared copy of Women by Charles Bukowski

7. All she wants is stronger coffee and longer orgasm's

8. A slip of the tongue. A brush of this up against that. A well placed whisper. The sweet taste of ohmygodyes.

9. Insomnia induced hallucinations

10. Vicodin induced joyfullness

11. 3 pack of Island Rings + Sex Dice

12. 1/2 oz Sailor Jerrys spiced rum, 1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur, 1/2 oz Malibu coconut rum, 1/2 oz Midori melon liqueur, 12 oz pineapple juice, 1 splash sweet and sour mix = shhhh (total divine intoxication)

13. "Can't I talk about my love of a thick pepperoni without you making it into something sexual?"

14. Cleavage. Heaping spoonfuls of mouth watering cleavage.

15. Close your eyes. Grip this gently and take a deep breath. When its scarey, don't look down.

16. Fingertips, lipstick, crystal balls and Tarot cards. Single Malt and Duck Confit and the devil moistening her panties against her will.

17. She makes the daymares worthwhile. Well her and that thing she does with her tongue.

18. Ladies first applies to opening doors and orgasms...always

19. Pussy rules the world

20. Go ahead...touch it!

21. You know she cares when..."I love laying in your arms, feeling your warm body and soft kisses, but right now I just want you to bend me over and bang me like a screen door in a hurricane.

22. When she whispers in your ear "Fuck Me"

23. Lip biting, hair pulling, ass grabbing, neck kisses, sex bruises, scratches, bite marks, heavy breathing, soft flesh, moistening, licking, sucking, fucking, sheet ripping, sweat dripping, legs trembling...that moment she goes from moaning to speaking in tongues.

24. You cant judge a book by the dude jacking off to it. Some people will jack off to anything.

25. Boobs

Bonus: (boner inspiring text received @ 7:44pm from someone very, very dangerous...)"Wanna make my eyes roll back into my head"

LMAO!!! Now that was good Livin!!! Well played sir....

26. Do not use bubble gum for emergency contraception. Unless it’s Juicy Fruit (MM)

27. It's scientifically proven that warmer feet lead to more orgasms...for her

28. "When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV." Mike Damone - Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Truer words have never been spoken.

quote---20. Go ahead...touch it!

29. Remember she owes you nothing. You owe her everything.

30. Get in there. The chances that you will burst into flames is 50/50 at best.

31. 2.5 oz milk or cream + 1.5 oz Loopy Vodka (Fruit Loop Flavored Vodka) = Hard breakfast milk. Bulowski would have drank this for breakfast. I still prefer Jack in my DD coffee but this comes in a very close second.

32. Junkyard Slurpee's are never a good idea. In fact pussy flavored anything is never a good idea unless of course it comes with a thigh vice. Except maybe Doritos.

33. Kum and Go. It's an Iowa thing

34. Are you from Ireland cause my penis is Dublin!

35. All these photos being sent my way are causing uncontrollable erections. More, more, more

36. Moonlight, Moscato, & MILF's

37. Reese's body shots.
Milk Chocolate sauce on the left nipple, belly button full of creamy Jif, Milk Chocolate sauce on the right nipple. Suck the chocolate sauce off the left nipple, tongue out the peanut butter from her belly button, Suck the chocolate sauce off the right nipple. Your Welcome.

LMAO! Livn - You need a job!

Blowjob that is...Now go get one!

When I was a kid girls wore tights. They were like panty hose but more opaque, usually in many colors. And they wore a skirt or dress over them. Today girls wear tights, that form fit every curve and crack and leave nothing to the imagination and they don't wear anything over them. So don't give me the stink eye for staring at your camel toe or your awesome, round, little ass. Put on shorts if you don't like me looking. I'll try not to lizard flick my tongue at you.