Keeping a promise to a friend (posting this for her)

Carrying out a promise for a friend

I had dinner this week with a very special lady. She has been my ATF and very close friend for fifteen years now, even though she has been retired the last seven of them. It was her birthday recently and I had not been in her city until this week so we had a belated celebration. I have never written a review of her because she never wanted reviews, and never mentioned her by name, so even though I have referred to her many times on here I am quite sure no one will know who she is thus I feel safe writing this. Plus, she asked me to and I have never been able to refuse her anything.


She is a woman who saw significant heights in her time. She has been an invited guest at White House dinners, foreign royal state functions, and Fortune 500 corporate inner circle events. She had multiple marriage offers from politicians, art dealers, and other powerful people. She traveled around the world and dined with kings.

All that ended seven years ago very abruptly, and I will always be painfully aware of the exact day and the hour it happened. She was spending the night in my hotel room and we were talking about her one true love who had died less than a year before. She had a major stroke a little after 2 AM that night. Ffortunately the paramedics came quickly and she lived through it. She lost her day job, her escorting job, her condo, car, and most everything else as some of the less savory people in this business descended like vultures on carrion.


The recovery has been long and slow. She has slowly rebuilt her world bit by bit and I was happy to see her new, small apartment--a major improvement over the public assistance shelter she had been living in for two years, but then living in a cardboard box would have been an improvement from that. She is regaining her health, gaining weight (she is still thin but no longer emaciated as she was when she left the nursing home), and relearning that the world still holds reasons to smile. Mentally she is still very sharp but she has significant physical and emotional damage from the stroke that will likely never heal.

I am not writing this to elicit sympathy for her—she is really just a nameless, faceless ghost drifting across this page. Plus she would beat me senseless if she thought I was doing that. She never was a member here, nor on any other board. No, I am writing this to let her be the ghost of Christmas future for all of us, especially the ladies on here. I am her surrogate fingers typing her message to any who will read it and care to listen. “Remind them”, she said last night, “tell them how stupid I was. I always thought I had more time. I was going to work another five years and I’d have my nest egg by then. I never imagined this would happen. I don’t want any other woman to go through this.” As I left her apartment last night she held onto me with the one hand that works and didn’t let go until I promised I would post it as soon as I could.

I told her I would post it, and now I have. Everyone will do as they wish, obviously, but I hope her words have the effect she desires, at least with some of you. And any of you who choose to say a prayer for her, I thank you in advance.

Carrying out a promise for a friend

I had dinner this week with a very special lady. She has been my ATF and very close friend for fifteen years now, even though she has been retired the last seven of them. It was her birthday recently and I had not been in her city until this week so we had a belated celebration. I have never written a review of her because she never wanted reviews, and never mentioned her by name, so even though I have referred to her many times on here I am quite sure no one will know who she is thus I feel safe writing this. Plus, she asked me to and I have never been able to refuse her anything.


She is a woman who saw significant heights in her time. She has been an invited guest at White House dinners, foreign royal state functions, and Fortune 500 corporate inner circle events. She had multiple marriage offers from politicians, art dealers, and other powerful people. She traveled around the world and dined with kings.

All that ended seven years ago very abruptly, and I will always be painfully aware of the exact day and the hour it happened. She was spending the night in my hotel room and we were talking about her one true love who had died less than a year before. She had a major stroke a little after 2 AM that night. Ffortunately the paramedics came quickly and she lived through it. She lost her day job, her escorting job, her condo, car, and most everything else as some of the less savory people in this business descended like vultures on carrion.


The recovery has been long and slow. She has slowly rebuilt her world bit by bit and I was happy to see her new, small apartment--a major improvement over the public assistance shelter she had been living in for two years, but then living in a cardboard box would have been an improvement from that. She is regaining her health, gaining weight (she is still thin but no longer emaciated as she was when she left the nursing home), and relearning that the world still holds reasons to smile. Mentally she is still very sharp but she has significant physical and emotional damage from the stroke that will likely never heal.

I am not writing this to elicit sympathy for her—she is really just a nameless, faceless ghost drifting across this page. Plus she would beat me senseless if she thought I was doing that. She never was a member here, nor on any other board. No, I am writing this to let her be the ghost of Christmas future for all of us, especially the ladies on here. I am her surrogate fingers typing her message to any who will read it and care to listen. “Remind them”, she said last night, “tell them how stupid I was. I always thought I had more time. I was going to work another five years and I’d have my nest egg by then. I never imagined this would happen. I don’t want any other woman to go through this.” As I left her apartment last night she held onto me with the one hand that works and didn’t let go until I promised I would post it as soon as I could.

I told her I would post it, and now I have. Everyone will do as they wish, obviously, but I hope her words have the effect she desires, at least with some of you. And any of you who choose to say a prayer for her, I thank you in advance. Originally Posted by Old-T

That's the way to be a good, true friend Old-T. Been through some of that myself with some dear friends and family members, so I know what it's like to see the effects of a stroke and effects of a heart attack on some (prior to the medical malady) very smart, vibrant people. Your friend has my prayers that her health and her situation will continue to improve and that she will always have a caring friend with good old fashioned integrity to be there for her. Hope you are rewarded here and in the "next realm " for your caring and kindness.

I tell friends who question my spending habits this all the time... I hate that she is living one of my worst fears... Time is so short for all of us, and it hardly seems fair that for some it's cut even shorter. I'm glad she's recovering though, and so glad that she has at least one friend who stuck through all this with her.

Charlotte, very true. She was doing well for a number of years, but she was also very generous. Just like athletes and musicians she had those who hung around and pretended to be her friends, and she shared her income freely with them.

The day she got sick they scattered and found other hosts to parasite. She was in that hell hole of a nursing home for a few years and besides her family only three people visited her.

I wish all the ladies made sure they were putting aside for themselves and their families before being generous.

Charlotte, very true. She was doing well for a number of years, but she was also very generous. Just like athletes and musicians she had those who hung around and pretended to be her friends, and she shared her income freely with them.

The day she got sick they scattered and found other hosts to parasite. She was in that hell hole of a nursing home for a few years and besides her family only three people visited her.

I wish all the ladies made sure they were putting aside for themselves and their families before being generous.

Wise words she is sharing. I've seen many ladies that spend the money they make foolishly on designer bags and shoes, etc.....

Thousands of dollars that are so easy to spend, because they are making very good money.

But they aren't thinking of the future.

Their careers are short lived 3 -10 years, without an exit strategy.

That doesn't even factor in the unimagined horrors that can happen, as has happened to your friend.

I sympathize with her, I was in a bad motorcycle accident and unable to walk for several years, while my friends weren't parasites, they vanish none the less.

I wish her well in her recovery, and hope her words reach a few of the ladies, and that it doesn't happen to anyone else.

Even without tragedy, I've seen the no exit plan thing strike, age is a bitch, and no job skills is humbling if you are delivering pizza, or flipping burgers after living a comfortable life.

Charlotte, very true. She was doing well for a number of years, but she was also very generous. Just like athletes and musicians she had those who hung around and pretended to be her friends, and she shared her income freely with them.

The day she got sick they scattered and found other hosts to parasite. She was in that hell hole of a nursing home for a few years and besides her family only three people visited her.

I wish all the ladies made sure they were putting aside for themselves and their families before being generous. Originally Posted by Old-T

I've counseled many people to put back 10% every month. Very few do it.

I have tried many times to explain the idea of doing something better with the money these girls make verses blowing it but sadly it falls on deaf ears.

A single tear rolls down my cheek...

I also got out of this that us ladies are real people with real lives. You are certainly a gem. I'm glad things are looking up for her. xo

Hopefully more will pay attention that the income, and even this lifestyle, are not GUARANTEED.

Shit happens. Bad shit happens. Shit worse than your worst nightmares happens. And very few will be by your side after it does. You never know which day that may be.

Wow. A good reminder to spend/invest your money wisely...we have no retirement plans or sick leave. Hope she gets back to her own happy
Place!

Old-T, yours is a post I will remember a long time. It was kind of you to post it. And very kind of you to look after your friend.

Cannot say enough how true her words are. Ladies get into the hobby for many noble reasons, to support a family, etc., but please do not forget to make it a priority to plan and invest for your future.

T, good post. I know she means a lot to you, and I know she is thankful to have you as a friend. You make me ashamed I haven't stayed in more contact with her but I'll call her this week.

I do hope her words might have their desired impact with the women just starting.

You're a good friend, thanks for sharing. It's a great reminder to everyone. I saw an episode of Larry King Now w/Tony Robbins and he was talking about a guy who worked for UPS and never made over 14K/year, but always saved 20% of his salary and is now a multimillionaire. I wish I'd done that myself, but never too late to start something.

I'll pray for your dear friend, sounds like she led a really exciting life!


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