BIRTHDAY PRESENT~~~FUNNY SHIT LOL

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

lol cute!

ha ha ha thought yall would like that lol

that was good...try this one

The testicles of a midget from Texas hurt real bad and ached almost all the time. So the midget decides to see a doctor about his problem.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.

The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started his exam. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.

"Hmm..."mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again.

"Aha!" said the doctor, and reached for his surgical scissors....

Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side . . . then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.

The midget was so scared he was afraid to look down, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.

The midget was absolutely delighted as he jumped around the room and discovered his testicles did not hurt anymore.

The doctor said, "How does that feel now?" The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"

The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots..."

thanks for the laughs

HA HA HA GOOD ONE TEXAS LOL