Both questions are case by case basis. One provider will say yes, one will say no. Even the ones that say yes, might not say yes to you based on a number of different reasons. Are you expecting each and every provider to chime in with a laundry list of different opinions?
In my case, I like getting my hair pulled, but only by those that know how. You don't just yank it. And if you manage to piss me off half through the BJ, you're better off keeping your hands to yourself. Also I don't like dirty talk. Only a handful of client got away with dirty talk (and of that handful, 99.9% of them were under the age of 35).
I'm perfectly fine with video. BUT you have to pay me my video rates if you plan to take a private video. Or you can sign a release form and send me a copy so I can place it on my website.
I've seen guys in other cities talking about "check out this video I took of her!" Umm no, just no. If videos are going to be passed around like the offering plate at church, then I'm up charging. Also, I don't trust "for my eyes only" BS. It may be for your eyes only, but that won't stop you from posting it to Google Docs and sharing it with the community of bastards.
I'm about money, pay me and we'll be best friends. Rip me off, and I'll destroy you....with a smile like a lady