Newbie delimma

So we are a couple, that registered and got screened by p411, and by chance found ECCIE. We notice that providers will have a menu, or something like it on either one. Sometimes there are none. We send PM asking for it, or if they do certain things. From here the signals go off and we are punted...happened from one provider today who share what she was interested in and her donation amount (most providers do not list couples fees by default). Then she decided we talked too much via PM and cancelled on us. One of us called and had a short chat with her a couple days ago and felt everything was ok.

So what is the right protocol to determine what are there interested if not list , and same for donation from a couple...How does one get this, without setting off wrong signals? It is tough without referrals but how can you pick one if you have limited data, but if you ask you are back at square one. What protocol are we missing?
cowboy45's Avatar
Big no-no, asking any kind of questions about services or $$$. Any provider with any snap will kick you to the curb in a heartbeat for that. If you are now on P411, find a girl who is newbie friendly, and contact her, get screened however she wants to screen you, even if she wants additional information that just P411. If she asks something you don't want to give up, then explain that to her and maybe there will be a way to work around it. You can ask her if she sees couples if its not in her information on P411, here or her website if she has one. Be very discreet with your discussions and don't discuss individual acts or services and never discuss $$$, until you are well within her comfort range and you are sure of that.
For your first few adventures, I highly recommend that you see only girls who are well reviewed and well known here. If they are on P411 that's a plus too, and most reputable ones are. Once you have some references you will find the going a lot smoother and all this will start to work for you. Good luck and good hunting!
  • hd
  • 10-21-2011, 06:43 AM
and at least with p411, I believe you can put in your profile activities you both like to do, that way when provider screens you she will see that and you won't have to ask. other than asking her if she's ok with your profile info.
Yes, you should put all of your expectations/requests/requirements in your P411 profile and then send an appointment request through the P411 system and ask the lady to read your profile and respond if she feels you'd be compatible.

You can see if she reads your profile or not.

If not, then don't book with her.

If so, and especially if she says "I read your profile and it sounds like we'd get along beautifully," then book

Don't follow up with specific questions or you'll spook her. Don't say something like "I just want to verify that you're o.k. with CIM" or whatever. That totally sounds like a cop.

This isn't like buying a car. You can't specify your requirements and have her sign a contract that she agrees. There's an element of trust and mystery in this world.

Ok thanks for the feedback, will alter our approach and make things more clear in our P411 acct. We hope to break out of the newbie status on Saturday evening. Wish us luck!
  • hd
  • 10-21-2011, 08:51 AM
Good luck, and would you like someone to watch?
pmdelites's Avatar
cowboy45, excellent summary. MOD - can we make that post a sticky??

hd & honey rose, wrt "when provider screens you she will see that" and "You can see if she reads your profile or not"


working on a project in another of my lifetimes, some users said they wanted the system to record that someone had read messages sent to them by another user. i gently said it wasnt possible. the users were adamant that the system could do it. i then showed them what i meant and they finally understood. computers and software are great, but they are not the solution to all our problems.

while i hope mail3791944 and others understood your point, until software can actually track eyes and monitor what's going on in a person's brain/memory, all one can say about p411 profiles and the "confirm receipt" thingy in eccie's private messages is "someone who was logged on to that system clicked on something." there is absolutely no way to tell if they read and understood it, much less viewed it.

for example, often times, when i get an eccie pm and the system popups one of those "you got a pm", then one of those "pls confirm" messages, i might acknowledge the receipt but rarely read the pm right there and then. and even if/when i do read it, there's no way the sender can tell when or if i read it.

one of the best ways to find out if someone read a message or a profile or a post is to just ask the person, via email, phone, text, pm, p411 message. dont assume they read it cos the system said they acknowledged receipt.