Slip Slidin’ Away and other mumblings

Nope, this isn’t about a Stripper Slide or Nuru Massage. It’s about waning interest in the hobby.

When one repeatedly fails to complete the intended mission, an analysis of how the money could have been better spent ensues. Yes, there have been sessions where the company alone was worth the price of admission, but those are few and far between – and they will see me again.

There comes a time where the fast pounding, cardio enhancing sex is too difficult to be enjoyable. Just watching a PSE video is a turn-off. The tingles come from a gentle peck on the cheek from a massage girl. Those can even cause a little leakage (pre-cum, not pee damnit).

Am I reaching the age where a nice smile and gentle touch is a “hot date”? I’ll admit that my SO still turns me on when she does that. But my participation here has been in hopes of an orgasm of the magnitude that exists only in my memory. Hell, even a little one would be nice.

The selection process can be tiresome. Read the reviews, her posts, her pictures, would she be able to take me three? Maybe, but …..

In the past, I’ve even sent PMs to some of the ladies who openly answer ISO’s. There are some who attract me. But what to I get but “send your references”? Do they answer ISO’s and then ask the same of the OP? Not that I mind sending references, but this site has been a stretch for me.

I’m from the age of “don’t kiss and tell” and asking a lady to tell another I’m really a nice old guy (in spite of my handle which is a deliberate antithesis of the real me) seems like I’m insulting her. Yes, I understand the difference between a date and an escort but some ethics are so engrained that the human element can (and should) not be separated.

Agh, the frustration of it all.

Thanks for “listening” to my rambles. This is definitely not a solicitation of offers from any of you lovely ladies. I just needed to get it said. I know there are other old farts here who are walking the same line. I wish you well.

For those who are still fully functional - Hobby On.

OG, I don't qualify as old yet, but I can see it coming. I honestly feel similarly. It's more about being a man and wanting to be appreciated for being a man. I have some fantasies to fulfill, but touch, sincerity, and closeness.... Intimacy is important. I'm old enough and smart enough that if you can't stimulate my mind, you won't get a huge response from my nether region either. My SO and I have had good sex about 50 times so far this year. I keep a calender. It's actually listed as "other" on my exercise calender. I hobby out of desire to try new things. And while society says one thing, I think its normal for a man to want many women. I'm pretty damn normal really. I'm seriously looking to start a few longer term friendships where she and I understand each other. If I wantva BnG, I can HJ myself and move on.

As for the funds, yes it cuts into my other hobbies, but I'm helping someone who is helping me. That's quite friendly if you ask me.

I think I have an appt next week with a soon to be long term friend. We shall see, but I have high hopes.

Hi, I live in the Tyler area and keep my client base to a minimum. I actually specialize in what you describe, as I personally do not feel comfortable having a "wham bam thank you ma'am" encounters with strangers. I find massage to be a much more sensual and easier way to warm up to someone. Nothing makes me happier than donning a lacy bikini bra and panties under a body hugging dress with the right amount of makeup and hair done up just stepped out of the shower and all dolled up to greet my client date at the door. I love that twinkle in his eye and the rush of someone disrobing and trusting me completely laid out on my massage table. Sometimes I am the one who gets the massage! Then I take off my dress and well, you know how GOOD it feels to have a competent set of hands working their magic, you begin to understand what a cat feels like at full purr. Every inch of your skin feels so warm and alive, notice I haven't even got to the sexual aspect? You gotta TRUST your partner and feel comfortable in their presence. Then eventually comes the slide, where the bra comes off and I'm straddling his butt, sensually stroking my long hair ever so gently across his backside and then I lay against him, my lips softly brushing his ear and I drag my lips and cheek slowly across the head, neck, shoulders, back and down to the tailbone while reaching down and softly tickling his balls. I also like to squeeze my thighs along the side of his torso as I think this is the ultimate in feminine control. When he is ready to roll over, it's pillows under his head and a slow tease of his genitals with my fingertips to wrap around and evaluate as some are not as viable as others while straddling in front of him. Thru conversation, he tells me where and how he likes to be touched. Prior to all of this, we have engaged in meaningful dialogue and had some laughs. We don't feel like strangers, and without an unreasonable time constraint the warm feelings flow. Thru experience I have learned a few methods of helping someone who may have physical challenges or perhaps they just want to try something new. This is where a vibrator can be introduced where I tell him if he is open to it that "they aren't just for women anymore".

In my case, I have found that I prefer to be in charge. I do not care for someone coming in to my incall and attempting to control or dominate me or try to push me into an act that I don't feel comfortable with. I am being paid for my time and companionship, not by the act and I do not schedule a potential client like clockwork. If he isn't comfortable or has to leave at a certain time, then I try to wrap it up pronto.

I have learned that the best way I can succeed is to be true to myself and make my own decisions about who I choose to see. I hate predators and guys who have stalking tendencies. I also don't want to be reviewed or to see a major hobbiest who has no intention of ever making a return visit. I like my true blue steady eddies as I call them, the men I have grown to respect, care about who have enriched my life simply by trusting me, liking me who have been considerate and open to my personality as well as my touch. I'm not for everyone, but I may just be for you.

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying, OldGrump. I don't have the physical limitations (yet), but mentally I'm just not as interested in new conquests as I once was. I'll still have days when the old urges hit me, but what once was a daily occurrence is now much less frequent.

Oddly enough, I'm not saddened by the change. I actually find it somewhat liberating. I'm not consumed by the hobby, freeing up time and funds for other interests that at the very least are more socially acceptable. That's why I doubt I'll become part of the Viagra crowd...if nature tells me it's time to stop screwing around, I'll listen.

I'm not one to give up, or even accept gracefully what nature is trying to tell me. I've tried the pump, all the pills and injections. They all have their limitations and negative side. Maybe an implant is next?

I like your calendar idea, bbtony. You and your SO are really hittin' it. Once a month is good, 4 times a quarter is MSOG! Obviously, my recharge rate has diminished. But with that comes the release from the chase that Tinman so gracefully has accepted.

I don't care to lead or be led. Instead, I prefer a mutual transition to the next activity - and some rest periods of cuddling, caressing, and light kissing in between.

The money isn't the big problem, it is spending it in hopes of something that didn't happen. It leaves me feeling flat (though I could use a bit of tummy trimming - what are abs?).

As far as self satisfaction, I've not done that in over 40 years. It just doesn't have the interaction needed for satisfaction & I'd just as soon do something else. I've been that way all my adult life. We are all different, aren't we?

So far, there have been some thoughtful responses. I appreciate the viewpoints.

OG, check your PM

If I think about spending the money on a new set of golf clubs instead of a hobby experience, does that mean I am getting old?

Yes.

Damnit!!!

I am 42 guys but down there I am still 18. I've started exercising a lot the past 3 years. I don't know if that's the key, but it sure has helped my ability to perform. I was MSOG today, but I don't want to do a review really. I'm outgoing but I like some privacy.

I totally feel it has to be mutual. Today I met a woman who was really into me and we had a great time. Being into each other made all the difference. Once I have one or two other women where we have this mutual fun, I will hobby with them exclusively. I just like to know a woman.

Once I get my schedule down, I will put my excess funds back into my fast car, firearms and wine hobbies. I have too many hobbies.

My favorite thing about the encounter today was her initiating the 2nd go after 20 minutes of cuddling. That was a huge turn on. It's the closeness and the warmth that makes performing possible. If a woman cant touch me and kiss me, she can do anything else she likes and nothing will happen. At first I thought I wasn't man enough or masculine enough. It seriously helps knowing other men need a connection first too, and even some women. No connection, no go. That should probably be my sig line.

I tell providers that I'm at the age where the back rub afterwards is al ost as enjoyable as the act itself. It's a shame that youth is wasted on the young!

As you age you realize the depth of feeling involved when Harlan Ellison said, "You can't win, you can't break even and you can't get out of the fucking game".

Well, it is definitely comforting to know that I am not alone.
I have been feeling that longing for intimacy also. I have been hobbying for the last 3 or 4 years. In the beginning it was the thrill for the "new". I was pursuing the wonderful variety that this little hobby of us provide. However, after many, many experiences I was starting to feel that they were all the same. Different actress but always the same movie. I was hobbying two or three times a week and still was feeling unfulfilled. I was starting to have problems completing "the mission". That was having an impact in my self confidence. I thought about retiring but I like the sex too much. Instead I decided to slow down considerably and limit the number of ladies to visit. Now I only see a very select group of ladies that are the ones that I felt more comfortable with. And the "repeat session" thing that I had not tried before but I am experimenting with now and so far liking it. Not only gives me a more fulfilling experience but also leaves me some extra funds for other endeavors.
I think this little hobby hits us like a train when we start -it did to me-. But I have learn from that and I think -and hope- to make it a lot more enjoyable from now on..

Congratulations hardracer. It took me 15 years to get to the point you reached in a mere 3-4 years. I have also found that if I focus my attention on ladies in the 30+ range, I find a larger population that appreciates my mindset.

OG I'm glad you started this thread.

I thought I was going crazy, but seems it is just a natural progression of things.