Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 6
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 5
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 4
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 3
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 2
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
And The Number 1 Thought
- - - as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last that long."
