Are you more Promiscuous in "every day/normal relationships" as a result of your "Hobby? Do you expect more? Sooner? Hotter?

Ralphey's thread/poll spun my thoughts in a different direction....

For those of you that DO date outside of the hobby.....

I'm curious.... Do you approach normal "dates" or relationships from a different point of view as a result of your hobbying from when you didn't hobby?

I'm incredibly busy at times professionally..... At the end of a long day sometimes I just want to get laid and to relax a bit and don't want to "invest" any of myself into a relationship.....

This was a big part of why the recent GF thing wound down.....

I kept reducing the relationship down to "dollars and cents" at times and thinking to myself... Damn... I just want to get laid..... Here I am listening to her problems... caring about her too much.... Hookers and P4P players are simply less expensive and less complicated.....

Another young lady I've known for a couple of years texted me about 9AM that she wanted to hang out yesterday..... In clarifying things later she just wanted a break from work, was not looking for money, just wanted to go to lunch and club hop a bit.....

I decided that I was too "busy" to take time off to just club hop when she let me know that it "was that time of the month" and I realized that getting laid was not in the mix.....

I could have spent a nice afternoon in her company rather than working and decided to work instead....

Why? because Sex was off the table for the day..... So of course was money... I wasn't going to have to "pay her".... But still.....

There was a gal in the next door office I was interested in but after 1 lunch and hearing some of her "beliefs" I decided I was several dates away from getting laid and for the cost of those dates I decided to just get laid instead......

Is anyone else passing on "normal relationships" because you find it a little too easy and less expensive to get laid hobbying?

On the other hand..... I've found that in "dating" girls I've met as a result of my hobby... waitresses, strippers, providers...... that sex is on the menu a hell of a lot sooner than it has ever been in a "normal relationship"...... often the First Date.... Almost always by the end of the 2nd....

I find more ladies I meet these days to be more willing to play on a first or second "date" than those I've met in other times or under different circumstances.....

Whatcha think?

On the other hand..... I've found that in "dating" girls I've met as a result of my hobby... waitresses, strippers, providers...... that sex is on the menu a hell of a lot sooner than it has ever been in a "normal relationship"...... often the First Date.... Almost always by the end of the 2nd....

I find more ladies I meet these days to be more willing to play on a first or second "date" than those I've met in other times or under different circumstances.....

Whatcha think? Originally Posted by Whispers

I would say exact opposite is true for me.

Before I became professional companion, odds of me getting nekkid on 1st or 2nd date with someone were a lot higher than they are today.

These days, if I am going out with someone, I want to get to know the person, see if we are fully compatible outside bedroom, know that this person is interested in me as person and not only in my tiny boobies.

I am also a lot less likely to give my number to a stranger in bar/club.

I will take gentleman's card if he is asking me for my number and if I am interested in him and run one hell of a screening before contacting him though

I think those of us who have opportunity to satisfy immediate sexual needs via hobbying/providing are actually more discriminating in civvie dating.

Lina

Whispers, I think that hobbying *absolutely* affects your paradigm. Hell, your story kinda shows that you don't want to be hassled in the "get to know" if gettin "BIZ-ay" ain't on the table.

I suppose if you're single and ok with your alone time and really only crave companionship for intimacy reasons, then the hobby habit puts that focus more in reality and probably even harder to avoid the P4P comparisons in the 'dating' game. But... if you want a partner for some sort of LTR, then you have to be willing and wanting to invest in the non-sexual aspect. If that's not something driving you in the sense of how obviously getting laid is driving us horny bastards here on this board (LOL) , then you're simply going to compromise the LTR by starting to keep count of the sex acts, or simply keep hobbying and then might as well call it

IMO, a good combination is to find someone who has compatible horniness, so that when you want to get laid they are gonna be in the mood too, but at the same time you dig that person on other levels that you can spend the non-sex time and get great satisfaction in those moments as well. So yes, I think initially you will be driven to find someone who wants to "get it on" as fast as you do, IMO.

Interesting topic. In the past month, I've been out with 9 different women & 2 providers (many thanks to Brittany Love & Shannon Finley - awesome sessions!).

Of the 9 women, I am only interested in 1, maybe 2. I slept with 3 of the 9, and the one I am most interested in was one of them.

However, rather than trying to sleep with all 9, I decided to meet my more urgent sexual needs with providers. I think I have a clearer head dating & getting to know someone if I know that sex is going to be taken care of, likely after the scheduled date. When it happens between the two of us, in a dating context, there's less pressure.

Case in point: The one I do like was supposed to go out last night. She called me after work and said she was ill, so our date was canceled. I had already arranged to see a provider this morning, but when my date was postponed, I called Shannon and had a great appt last night.

I figured sex was off the table last night anyway, so scheduling the provider seemed to be a safer bet. And I felt better for it - no pressure, and I wasn't upset that the date was canceled. If the date had happened, then I wouldn't have felt the need to push for sex if it wasn't going to happen anyway.

I am the same in my work as I am on the street...lol
{That is why I live in new orleans}

To echo Lina, I think that the opposite is true for me also. I think that the differences between provider and hobbyists responses to this will be big.

When I was in college I loved discovering sex. I started the AFF game and the swinger scene by the time I graduated. Back in he day, even if a civie date wasn't all that exciting, more often than not I'd put out and try to do a great job. Then the guys wouldn't leave and I had to cut the strings. (I guess guys get attached to girls who like no-strings.) And let's face it, my very promiscuous nature is what led me to the hobby in the first place.

Once I started to provide for awhile, sex in general became less novel. After many months had passed I found myself going back to the boys who were more likely to hangout and do something other than sex -- watch a movie, go out for drinks, watch a baseball game, whatever. We'd usually end up having sex at some point, but it was never really the goal and I appreciated the true companionship and lack of pressure.

So, yeah. I find it much easier to turn down sex when I'm having lots and lots of it. Or, I am less likely to seek sex out from boys when I realize that I have a 10AM on my books for the following morning.

Perhaps when providing full time you simply have to spend your sex capital wisely.

After having so much amazing sex with the best of the best, I shy away from wanting to date "non-pros", I guess it's kinda like girls that won't admit to their SOs that they are providers.

Being a single dad (1/2 time) of two young ones keeps me pretty busy. Yeah, I could probably make time to date if I really wanted to. However, at the moment, I'm just not interested in putting forth the effort it would take to get to know someone when the only thing I'm really thinking about is whether we'll end up in the sack. And, having been divorced twice, I'm as worried about what that says about me, my choices, the kind of women I am attracted to and how I behave in LTRs, as anything else. I'm sure I've become gun shy, which again, for now, is probably okay too.

In fact, I think hobbying actually keeps me from doing something stupid. I've met a few women I've been attracted to. I've spent some time with them --- drinks or dinner or parties --- and the process of developing a friendship or learning about each other is less stressful. I don't come home horny and pissed off because I didn't have expectations of sex going in. It's not that I don't find them attractive --- these have mostly all developed from some initial crush/attraction. What I hope I'm doing is managing those feelings better while trying to determine what the other person is really about (more importantly, if she's really just one of my ex-wifes in disguise - LOL).

I don't feel a need to push along a civvie relationship. I don't feel the need to steer conversation in a certain direction or offer "one more glass of wine" to lower inhibitions. I don't feel the need to hide or tailor my opinion so as not to offend my date. Instead, I can be myself and if something more develops, well, maybe that's okay.

For me, whether my non-hobby approach is right or wrong, being able to have a session, keeps me out of trouble. I can easily schedule. I can still enjoy that feeling that comes with seeing someone with whom I know I'll have an awesome time. I can enjoy the pre-date anticipation. And, when I finally see one of my ATFs, I can truly appreciate the treatment, knowing what's in store. Afterward, I can return to my life...such as it is...and I'm relatively stable again for a little while.

But, that's just me

What a brilliant question, this one got me thinking.

The hobby has definitely raised my standards as far as dating. Why date when I can have it all in the hobby, every man I want, plus LOTS of gas money to take me shopping and to pay my bills. If I want to go out to dinner, I can send out a message and there is always a suitable man to take me out to dinner, even on a whim. Even if he knows I may have had a session earlier, even if he knows that I won't be putting out later unless he intends to leave a gift.

Before the hobby, I didn't value my time like I should have, like I believe so many women should. I donkied off so much of my time on non tributed dates and it got me little more than a good orgasm at the end of the night.

Then I began to hobby. And I realized that my goodies had a market value and that if I received two dinner invitations from high quality men, both sexy, smart, successful, but one requested tributed time afterward and the other thought his presence was present enough, well, the decision makes itself now doesn't it?!

Why date for dating sake when I can have it all?