I can't stand when...

...a beautiful real-world girl smiles at me. Happened to me this morning.

Stunning young brunette sitting in the drivers seat of a beat-up pick-up truck reversed-parked, waiting for a relative in a doctor's appointment. Window down, and she's just sitting there alone reading a book.

I park right next to her, so her drivers side and mine are right next to each other. She's right there, window all the way down. When I walked back to my car we coyly smiled at each other a few times. It felt flirtatious?

When that happens, I feel I have to do something about it. Every pretty smile directed at me is a gateway drug.

But I'm just like, what's the point? I'm already fucking younger girls like her for money. Why pretend to be a PUA?

I know some guys have turned real-world girls into SB's. I just tell myself Seeking works well enough in pre-selecting girls who want to fuck older men for money.

And hope I don't see any other "dealers" for the rest of the day.

(I've been trying to be disciplined this week, after my bender last week. Haven't been near any pussy since Saturday, so that's three whole days between then and today. Feels like three months.

Of course, a UAlbany Seeking girl I've been trying to see for a year hit me up and said she's available and eager to meet for sex and allowance this week. Of course! And then another UAlbany girl - who I thought blocked me and was done with it - wants to meet again for sex and allowance. She is willing to come to me this time.

Did I turn them down? No. Do I have scheduled dates with them? Yes. Do I hope they flake? Not really.

I have a hotel date lined up with the 18 again from Friday, for this Friday, so I told myself nothing in between then. But fuck, one week feels like a decade of abstinence. Heck, I saw Adah Vonn last Monday - that feels like a lifetime ago.)

Hobby everyone has their vices they spend big money on from gambling, golf , restoring old cars , traveling the list goes on. Yours seems to be pussy it’s all the same ol’ shit. Emptying the coffers to feel good only to fill them up to do it all over again. Stay safe