Ok, she's Ukranian but the title wouldn't work...
So I book an hour with VIP traveling provider Rita Divine a few weeks ago and scheduled a Sunday morning appointment. Before all you guys jump all over me for booking a morning appointment, an appointment is an appointment. If she can't make it, don't book it. Anyway, Rita's scheduler, who apparently cannot adjust to the rest of the country's time zones (more on that later), PMed me last night...twice...to confirm our hour session at $400. Let that sink in...$400. I take that fairly seriously. So I respond to that confirmation 55 minutes later with my phone number saying Im going to bed but that I will be there. Her scheduler, responds about two hours later...while I'm asleep...that to go the specified hotel at the specified time. I wake up this morning and send a text from the number I have for her and a PM just to make sure. Crickets...hey, it's early, of course we are on. Why wouldn't we be? I send another text while en route and crickets again. I'm getting a bit nervous (dubious is more the word) but soldier on, picking up a coffee for her to go with the nice bottle of local vodka I picked up for her (I'm a nice guy). About ten minutes prior to our big appointment, I text her to say I'm there and crickets...for the next half hour. I'm PMing the whole time too and the unconfirmed PMs are just piling up. At the self imposed 20 min limit mark, I leave and text them so. Finally, at 27 minutes after the appointment time, the scheduler texts me asking if Rita ever contacted me and I told her "no". This is where it gets good. She tells me that she and Rita argued last night over whether or not I would show up. Apparently, in LA, people don't show up for 8:00 appointments. Well, seemingly, Rita was uncertain whether I was going to come even though I had confirmed twice and provided my hobby phone number. In order to satisfy her uncertainty, she decided to remove all doubt and just not contact me. "That settles it" I'm sure she said to herself as put her eye cream on and pulled the shades. Asked as to why she couldn't answer any of my texts or PMs this morning, the scheduler, let's call her Brit McHenry for lack of a better name, told me that they are two hours behind us in LA. Hmmmmm. Well I told her that the highly confusing and technical issue of "time zones" was indeed vexing but probably not my problem. Obviously at an impasse, we seemed to go our separate ways until the famed Rita herself, in all her majesty texted me two hours after our appointment telling me that she's been texting me and to come over. I informed her that my new iPhone 12 actually makes a record of texts and the time they came in (although, admittedly I think most do). At the moment, while I'm drinking her cold latte, we are having a text exchange that I find quite enjoyable. I love listening to people make up shit. I have kids so I'm used to it.