Question about references- more for the ladies...

Here is something I wonder about. Unfortunately, I only get to hobby about 2 or 3 times per year. How long are references good for?

what i am trying to ask I guess, if I see one of our lovely ladies 6 months ago, how long would her reference be good? Or is it more of a "shit list"- ladies know which guys they would not see again- and not having a bad reference is same as having a good reference??

I know it may be a "judgement call", but was wondering

Here is something I wonder about. Unfortunately, I only get to hobby about 2 or 3 times per year. How long are references good for?

what i am trying to ask I guess, if I see one of our lovely ladies 6 months ago, how long would her reference be good? Or is it more of a "shit list"- ladies know which guys they would not see again- and not having a bad reference is same as having a good reference??

I know it may be a "judgement call", but was wondering Originally Posted by ahobbyist2

I know, I'm not a lady... However, I've been around the block a couple of times.

In my experience, "freshness" and "staleness" of references varies from lady to lady. Each one handles things differently.

A lot depends on personal relationships between ladies; a reference from a provider you saw 6 months ago might be bad if the lady who's receiving it doesn't know the lady giving it, either personally or by reputation. Then again, a reference that's a year or two old might be golden if the lady who's receiving it is good friends with the lady giving it (I've been the beneficiary of such a situation, so I speak with experience there).

Some ladies will be very explicit about not accepting references that are too old (most that do say more than a year old). Even then, they may be more flexible than they're saying. You'll never know unless you ask (and why the heck not; the worst she'll say is "No, that's too old", and you're no worse off than when you started).

FWIW, a membership to a service like P411 or Date-Check (or both) may be of assistance there. One of the advantages of such services (or so I've heard) is that the provider okays there never go stale; it appears that some guys on those services have had oks from providers retired for a year or more, and those have been considered good. It might be worth looking into.

Cheers,

bcg

That makes sense and clears it up- I have to admit I haven't been asked to provide a reference yet- Maybe I have just been fortunate, but (don't want this to sound too weird) I think all ladies do get a "vibe" off the communications. Act like a gentleman, show respect in emails and phone calls- that really does go a long way

That makes sense and clears it up- I have to admit I haven't been asked to provide a reference yet- Maybe I have just been fortunate, but (don't want this to sound too weird) I think all ladies do get a "vibe" off the communications. Act like a gentleman, show respect in emails and phone calls- that really does go a long way Originally Posted by ahobbyist2

Nothing at all weird about what you say there. Pretty bleedin' obvious, actually (IMHO).

Cheers,

bcg

references are about as good as the shill reviews these women put up on ER or the many other random sites.... judge only recognized reviews or you get what you are overpaying for, some headstrung woman that thinks she holds all the cards, when in fact your holding the cards since you also are holding the $$$'s, next time a woman that calls herself a 'provider' asks for reference tell her you would like to call the last 3 guys she saw for a reference as well, let me know how that goes....the ones that are askin for multiple like 3-5 references arent worth seeing and getting rushed out the door shorted on time anyway....
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Here is something I wonder about. Unfortunately, I only get to hobby about 2 or 3 times per year. How long are references good for?

what i am trying to ask I guess, if I see one of our lovely ladies 6 months ago, how long would her reference be good? Or is it more of a "shit list"- ladies know which guys they would not see again- and not having a bad reference is same as having a good reference??

I know it may be a "judgement call", but was wondering Originally Posted by ahobbyist2

For me it does not matter how long ago it was as long as the lady is still active and she provides the reference. I hope that helps you out a little bit.

I agree if the lady remembers you and is still active and is easy to contact and gets back to me in a timely fashion as in before the appt then I have no problems with how long they are.

btw love the avatar