Calling all veteran providers and clients-help me figure this one out!

I'm calling on all veteran providers and clients to help me understand something. I've been in the hobby now for just over a year. In that time, I've developed great friendships with a few providers. Some of which I see on a somewhat regular basis. We usually stay in touch by texting, emails and calls. 2-3 of them stay in contact with me a few times each week just to say hello or talk about things in our lives that we need an open ear for.

However, this week after sending a couple of texts and voicemails to one of my faves,......silence. I waited a day and tried to contact her again....silence. I honestly can't think of a single reason why she would go cold on me after sharing so much with each other since meeting her a few months ago. If I thought I'd done something to upset or offend her, I'd totally understand. But Ive thought about it in depth and cannot think of anything I've done to upset her. I've reached out to her today to at least let me know what I've done and still no answer. She's still active on Eccie posting a thread as recent as today.

I know this all fantasy land and I'll get the typical responses about her being a "provider" and she never has cared for me, so please save those comments! I'll beg to differ! We've shared things with each other that aren't typically shared in a hobbyist-provider relationship.

So, veterans, thru the years you've been hobbying, give me your opinions on why you think this happens. I've thought that maybe she's uncomfortable that we're getting too close. She has given no indication about it when we've met as recently as a few days ago, and had a great time. I'm completely stumped on this one! Any words of wisdom are appreciated. Happy hobbying!!
corona's Avatar
1. you're too close to this person. this is a business. you are a client
2. she's obviously busy with something else. when was the last time you paid to see her?
3. Most providers aren't here for your friendship or love. Not that you can't be friends with them, but always remember it's a business first.
1. you're too close to this person. this is a business. you are a client
2. she's obviously busy with something else. when was the last time you paid to see her?
3. Most providers aren't here for your friendship or love. Not that you can't be friends with them, but always remember it's a business first. Originally Posted by corona
We had an agreement on the donation, and I told her if she ever wanted to "amend" it, I would not have a problem doing so. She assured me that she would. I mentioned it in one of my messages to her today.
BBW Katrina's Avatar
Maybe she's dealing with some personal shit...damn bro. Back, back.
TrailBlazer's Avatar
Maybe an out of town emergency??
  • harry
  • 04-04-2015, 01:45 AM
She may be busy with something. Give her some space and let her contact you if she wants.
  • Gbfsl
  • 04-04-2015, 04:49 AM
Zipster: You should just keep reading and repeating the first few words of the first sentence of your third paragraph over and over and over. "I know this all fantasy land..."
You ask for advice, but then say you don't want to hear the same story so many who have been there before you will give. So you really don't want advice.

You need to be realistic. I say this with all due respect, but it is a fantasy world and it is a business. It does not mean she doesn't care for you and that you didn't develop very "special" and close relationships with this particular lady. I have done so on many occasions. But almost all have led to an ultimate disappointment because, whether you want to hear it or not, and whether you want to believe it or not, in the end, it is a business and a fantasy world. You are not the only one she is sharing personal things with that aren't typically shared in a hobbiest-provider relationship. Trust me on this. I have been there a few times and had the exact same feelings only to find out later that there are several, if not many, hobbiest she has shared these special intimate things with. The truth is she probably has a few people who, like you, she has a close, personal relationship with. It is only human nature to do so. But, in the end, it is a fantasy land.

If you try to make a comparison to a relationship in this fantasy world to a relationship in your real world you will be hurt and disappointed over and over again.

There have been so many threads and so many conversations about this topic on here. Yet, when it comes to your personal situation you choose to beleive your situation really is different and you really do have "something special" and "something rare" between you and this provider. I have been there. I dare to say there are probably hundreds of hobbiest and providers who have also been there. But a recent quote from one of our fellow hobbiest best sums it up....I give you money = you give me sex.

As was stated here, it could be some tough times in her personal life and she just needs some space. But you know she is okay because she is still actively posting and communicating to the hobby world, but she is ignoring all of your attempts to reach her, I suggest a reality check. I suggest that you should listen to the comments that you told us to just save.

My best advice, keep it all in perspective. This is a fantasy land. It is a fantasy land where you can have a ton of fun if you totally keep it all in perspective.

I give you money = you give me sex.
TinMan's Avatar
My simple rule is, if she doesn't respond to the first message, I don't send a second. At least not for awhile (like a week). Sending multiple messages in one day makes you appear weak...or worse.
Maybe she's dealing with some personal shit...damn bro. Back, back. Originally Posted by BBW Katrina
I dont mean to laugh at your thread,but thats just to funny Katrina!
Sir Lancehernot's Avatar
Perhaps you inadvertently did something to piss her off and she'd rather not tell you about it, or she figured what a loser you really are, or she's found another mark.
Grace Preston's Avatar
Its a holiday week-- she could be with family or family could be with her.
Kayleehotchick's Avatar
Mixing real life with hobby life is never a good idea.

But hey, that is just me.
rexdutchman's Avatar
all the above and run forest run
Lifeking's Avatar
Time to try other ladies in your to do list. Being obsessed about one provider is not healthy.
Thanks for the advice and comments thus far. Keeping it in perspective is what I failed to do! Live and learn!