When are you NOT a newbie?

Ok, so the heading pretty much says it all. When are you no longer considered a newbie in the hobby community?

Is it your number of reviews? Maybe the number of sessions? What about your number of postings on a forum? Hell, I've seen folks with hundreds or thousands of posts but only a couple of reviews.

Folks help a greenhorn out! What's the criteria?

No criteria. Just be yourself and just when you think you have a handle on the hobby.......something crazy-odd will happen while planning, during or after a session. You will know it was crazy-odd (i.e, fucked up) because you already have some hobby experiences.........And it is at that moment you can tell yourself you are not a newbie anymore. Be safe, and have fuckin fun?......or is it....fun fuckin?.....whatever

Most providers who aren't Newbie friendly require 2 references from verified providers. You bag 2 of them and treated them right, you're golden. Use them as references. You're no longer a Newbie.

You know you've gone pro when:
-You enter any strip club and, in unison, everyone calls out your name.
-They've named a wing after you at the New Boob Clinic (since you've funded half their patients).
-Half of a hooker forum regards you as a god, the other half considers you a douche.
-Loan/prepaid....I.e. Basically lost money based on a sob story.
-Every stripper has you on speed-dial in case they decide to turn to the dark side.
-You've had more "hobby phones" in one year then regular phones your whole life.
-You get so used to being called "Hun" that you instinctively turn around when you hear someone say it in a grocery store.
-You've memorized half the threads on any one particular hooker forum.

When you have the number of references she requires.

You'll know.

Depends on your mental uptake and bandwidth. All of us have some latent newbitis from time to time.

Here is a list of newbie characteristics.

1. Cum in your paints before the session starts.

2. Really early to a session. Pis's off the ladies attempting to set up for you.

3. Really late to a session cuz you can't manage your shit.

4. Clueless about your own hygiene. Thinks wiping his ass before a session is the height of hygiene management.

5. Thinks to himself, "Damn, I think she really likes me. I think I'll start texting her night and day". This thought can be that of a newbie or an obsessive freak, or both.

6. Thinks to himself, "Awh man, she's awful. She didn't do anything I liked and she looks nothing like her pics!" Usually due to poor research. Or could be a hobby warrior pushing the expansion into unknown territories which is not a newbie.

7. Scared, nervous, awkward, can't hardly speak, can't get a boner. In other words, overwhelmed with anxiety in this situation.

8. Thinks the entire network of state, federal, and local LE is watching his every move.

9. Asks for change cuz he didn't bring the correct donation.

10. Too worried about the way their looks may appear to the provider.

11. Thinks that providers are robots. Everybody has a bad day.