Any advice on how to replace ATFs/regulars without wasting a lot of time and money?

This is a request for advice from what’s probably a minority in this community, those who prefer to find comfort in the arms of one woman, or maybe just a very few regulars. If anyone wants to PM a response, feel free to do so.

It had been more than 10 years since I had had an LTR in the hobby, and, frankly, I had not expected another. But a few years ago, I stumbled onto a couple of true ladies who had looks, skill, and, just as important and exceedingly rare in my experience, class, and who pretended to like me so well that I was able to pretty much forget the “illusion” part of both IOP and IOF.

It’s now been many months since I’ve had an appointment with either. During that time, occasional texts provided enough encouragement to cling to the hope that they would grant me the favor of intimate companionship again. But the texts have stopped, and I've finally realized they are no longer interested in me or my money.

Having determined that such a relationship wasn’t a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence, I want another. But I don't feel like I have another 10 years to wander from escort to escort, hoping to find "the one" or "the few" for an LTR.

I'd like to minimize the wasted money and time searching for someone who’ll present a credible IOP and IOF. Other than the obvious, does anyone have any suggestions as to how that might be accomplished Or is the best option simply to wander the Western Wastelands, possibly for years, dick in one hand, wallet in the other, hoping that the next one with whom I can set an appointment is the one?

(Low-volume, petite, rule-of-100-compliant Latinas, that’s your cue. J)

I’m prepared for the inevitable “you’re looking for love in all the wrong places” responses. I realize that. I know that the hobby is primarily about paying, fucking and leaving. But for some of us (or one of me), having a beautiful woman who will have sex with you AND spend a little non-BCD time with you AND tell you you're a nice guy can make the sun shine and the birds sing, for a more than just a bit.

So, having been there, I know what’s possible, with the right lady. Any help, guys?

You need to be more concerned about the women that would short-track that long-term program. Those are usually the ones that'll hit you up at 3am to bail them outa jail. Or ask for "loans". Long term means just that. Mutual respect takes time.

I find myself looking rite now too! With not much luck...

Ask your ATF regular for suggestions...?

(Low-volume, petite, rule-of-100-compliant Latinas, that’s your cue. J)
Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

I think that is an extremely tall order SL.. it's hard enough to get anyone long-term, but you add this caveat.. any petite Latina I have ever known about, is out of the business long before long-term can be a possibility. then add in the irony of YummyMarie's post.. suggesting you ask the former LT Provider for assistance, when YummyMarie herself probably fits your criteria as well as anyone..

and you can see you're swimming against the current.

Why would your ATF not want to see you or your money? Clingy? You're asking for too much free time? My spidey senses tell me something is wrong.

That said, seems like Bella was your drug of choice (and you stopped posting reviews when she re-branded, which is scary). If you're looking for something similar perhaps a lady she's partnered with Bliss is the answer? Both are passionate, hot, and fun, I found Bliss more relatable.

Sounds what you're looking for is not a provider. Try latinlifemates.com.

I think that is an extremely tall order SL.. it's hard enough to get anyone long-term, but you add this caveat.. any petite Latina I have ever known about, is out of the business long before long-term can be a possibility. then add in the irony of YummyMarie's post.. suggesting you ask the former LT Provider for assistance, when YummyMarie herself probably fits your criteria as well as anyone..

and you can see you're swimming against the current. Originally Posted by Chung Tran

Chung, that's a preference based on recent history, not a requirement. I just threw it out there as a hint.

I'm not sure why you think Latinas are short-lived in the hobby. BellaFtWorth was around for about three years, Nicole/BrookeFW for at least as long, and Bliss, Arianna Love, MarieLynn, Jewls are still working several years after I initially noticed them. There are probably some more that I can't think of right now. I'd be happy with three years as an LTR.

Why would your ATF not want to see you or your money? Clingy? You're asking for too much free time? My spidey senses tell me something is wrong. Originally Posted by Barrymccockinner

I don't know. Clingy? I very seldom initiate non-business-relaed correspondence, though I welcome and do respond to hi-how-ya-doin' texts and emails. Nor can I recall ever asking for free or non-BCD time. Such decisions are and should be hers.

Sounds what you're looking for is not a provider. Try latinlifemates.com.

Thanks. I'll check out that site, but I've already spent a couple of months at SeekingArrangement and am batting zero. For various reasons -- I tried to touch on some in the earlier post -- I'd like to try to stay in the hobby, at least initially.

I'm looking for ways to short-circuit the normal process that guys go through to find a new regular or ATF. I was hoping someone might come up with an outside-the-box alternative to just checking out everyone that looks appealing until you find someone. Maybe sites such as latinlifemates and SA are the only alternatives available. It's possible that no others exist. But it doesn't hurt to ask.

I wasn't trying to be facetious or ironic. I have several clients who had an ATF who would bring me in for doubles with them or who would send them my way every so often. When their ATF retired, the transition to me was easy for them. Maybe I am different, but I tell all my guys to let me know when they want a reference or ideas for who to see next. I am happy to refer them to any lady who might fit their needs. I have learned when you let them come and go freely, they tend to come back as longterm friends. When a guy works near me and they become a regular, all is dandy until they get a different job on the opposite side of town. I wouldn't expect them to drive that far to continue seeing me. Instead, I am happy to help them find someone new.

Get lucky? Other than that, finding an ATF will take time and/or money, not a great way to avoid that. Research is your best friend, and probably the fastest and cheapest semi-reliable method. You can often tell a lot about how you would get along with a provider by reading her posts and reviews, and trying to interact with her a bit on the boards.

Get a wife?

I’m prepared for the inevitable “you’re looking for love in all the wrong places” responses. I realize that. I know that the hobby is primarily about paying, fucking and leaving. But for some of us (or one of me), having a beautiful woman who will have sex with you AND spend a little non-BCD time with you AND tell you you're a nice guy can make the sun shine and the birds sing, for a more than just a bit.

So, having been there, I know what’s possible, with the right lady. Any help, guys? Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Ummm yeah...that and go get a civilian if you want a girlfriend. Hookers aren't the only females on earth and aren't the only chicks who fuck...if you're paying for it, you get what you pay for -- which is bullshit affection and bullshit attention per hour. And they're doing their job if that's what you get. They don't want to spend any non BCD time with your ass and why should they? If you want more, earn it without an ATM machine to help you; and get a civilian.

You said: It’s now been many months since I’ve had an appointment with either. During that time, occasional texts provided enough encouragement to cling to the hope that they would grant me the favor of intimate companionship again. But the texts have stopped, and I've finally realized they are no longer interested in me or my money.

Forgive me for being blunt but in the eyes of provider, you seem needy and clingy. If you haven't seen her for months, why didn't you schedule with her instead of exchanging wishy-washy texts? I think she got tired of pointless texting with you with no result of setting up a date? I may be wrong. But from what you wrote, that's what it sounded like.

This may come across sounding like an insult and I don't mean for it to be one. But, have you seriously looked into yourself and thought about why your ATFs have started to shy away from you? A person is always the last one to figure out they've acted incorrectly, off-putting or strangely. Maybe there's something you're doing that is chasing them away?

I just don't think you're going to find a provider that's willing to go to the level you want. These ladies are here to earn a living and that means they can't devote time to making sure we all feel wanted and needed by them between our sessions with them. I think it's unfair to expect them to do that.

I know you said you've had no luck on SeekingArrangement, but honestly, a sugar baby is what you're looking for here. I don't mean an UTR type or pay for play type. I mean a traditional sugar baby that you give an allowance and have expectations that she not be with anyone else.

This may come across sounding like an insult and I don't mean for it to be one. But, have you seriously looked into yourself and thought about why your ATFs have started to shy away from you? A person is always the last one to figure out they've acted incorrectly, off-putting or strangely. Maybe there's something you're doing that is chasing them away?

I just don't think you're going to find a provider that's willing to go to the level you want. These ladies are here to earn a living and that means they can't devote time to making sure we all feel wanted and needed by them between our sessions with them. I think it's unfair to expect them to do that.

I know you said you've had no luck on SeekingArrangement, but honestly, a sugar baby is what you're looking for here. I don't mean an UTR type or pay for play type. I mean a traditional sugar baby that you give an allowance and have expectations that she not be with anyone else. Originally Posted by Dilbertgolf

YES!! This may sound harsh…but when a client starts to get emotionally clingy and needy with me…I start to lose interest cause it feels like babysitting.

Exactly. I can't pretend when it comes to that. That's when they get the Heisman. I have enough shit to do already.