Dating a Provider--2 Scenarios

Gentlemen:
You encounter this hot-as-hell woman at (pick your own public location) and decide to strike up a conversation. Things click, smiles and laughter flow and before you know it (once discovering there isn't an engagement or wedding ring on her finger) you're asking her out and she says "OK." Later you discover what she does for a living. Does it make you (a) flip the "Off" switch; (b) look elsewhere; (c) make the adjustment and give it a chance; or (d) make an appointment?

Ladies:
You're currently unattached and this gorgeous man won't stop tyring to strike up a conversation with you at the (pick your own public location). You discover he's charming, makes you laugh and you wouldn't mind seeing where it would lead. After verifying the lack of a wedding ring on his finger, when he asks you out you say "OK." Do you disclose what you do for a living and hope for the best?

I'm laughing that you assume it will make a difference if there is an engagement ring on her finger.

Wedding ring? OK absolutely, I draw the line there...but, I've recently noted that several hot women I've met have taken to wearing what looks like a wedding ring on their finger, and when you ask them about it, they relay that they aren't really married, and just wear it to ward off unwanted attention.

(d) Never. If she wants to role-play, fine, but not seriously. I think it would be disrespectful for me to initiate it as well.

Keeping in mind, some very fine ladies do this on the side and have other careers.
So probably (c), if it's not their only profession, and my further interest*in her would depend on the non-physical beauty of the lady. And a biggie: whether she was willing to be exclusive in a serious relationship (not saying she would have to give up her side work) just other civilian dating.

C for me...Attraction is attraction!
Cheers!

I would never, ever disclose. When the relationship fails, the names come a-flying. I'm sure there are exceptions but in general, hobby and relationships don't mix too well.
That's just my experience though. What do I know?!

Never, ever, ever, ever would I disclose my hobby life to any man that I would consider dating in the civilian world! Trust issues come into play! Besides, I'm so low volume that I really don't think those paths would ever have to cross!

Dannie or Lana,

What if it's a situation where you are really interested in him, where you desire a long term relationship? Maybe to the point you would give up the "life" for him? Would you disclose your past if the relationship were getting serious in the hope that it wouldn't turn him away, or take your chances that he'd never find out what you do/did for a living?

Dannie or Lana,

What if it's a situation where you are really interested in him, where you desire a long term relationship? Maybe to the point you would give up the "life" for him? Would you disclose your past if the relationship were getting serious in the hope that it wouldn't turn him away, or take your chances that he'd never find out what you do/did for a living? Originally Posted by warlock

Very good question!

First of all, I do work a full time job, so giving the hobby up wouldn't be the end of the world for me even though it has allowed me to cover the extra expenses of my college son!

About a year ago, I did meet a very nice guy and we began to date on a regular basis! One night after a few drinks, I decided that I couldn't hide this life from him anymore, so I poured my soul out to him! He was NOT as understanding as I had hoped and the relationship ended that night! I swore that night that I would NEVER tell another man......just not worth it!

Lana, sorry that happened to you. There are quite a few stories just like yours out there.
On the other hand, if you don't tell him, and he finds out later down the road, it could 'blow up' on you. You know somewhere, sometime, you'll run across a former client, or someone who knew what you used to do on the side. In your situation, I'd say the odds are in your favor, but for some of the more visable ladies out there, not so much.

hmmm, she brings up trust issues, but not disclosing what you do, wouldn't that be lying ?

C. We're all creatures of habit and not without our own needs to provide for ourselves. Not only monetarily...but emotionally and physically as well. I won't begrudge a lady for making a means for herself just to give me some sense of security if such a situation were to occur. If there is truly an attraction, between both parties, there's no obstacle that can not be overcome.

hmmm, she brings up trust issues, but not disclosing what you do, wouldn't that be lying ? Originally Posted by turbonupe

What to do? Real simple.............stop hobbying when in a relationship! Lying? I'm sure it is, but why go out of my way to hurt someone! Sometimes, it's just better to let sleeping dogs lie!