Advise on How to get References

Every time I try to see a provider they ask me for references, but the thing is I don't have references because I don't hobby much. How am I supposed to get an independent provider reference if I can't even meet one?

Because of this I end up having to use backpage or go to spas which is kind of backwards of the process and cost worth your. I have seen one independent provider but when I give them as a reference it doesn't get me anywhere.

Any advice? I'm very respectful and there's some really beautiful ladies here that I'd like to see.

Your best bet is to check out the local newbie friendly list to get at least a couple of visits under your belt.

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=1355351

It's easy to see the old and/or the fat as well as the fugly...... But there is no need to do so if they are not your cup of tea......

All it takes is a little persistence to build a few references.....

Touring ladies tend to be easier to see without screening but over the next few days the weight of December Expenses and less business will cause a few ladies to be lax about their screening.

Send a message saying you want to see someone.
Tell her when and where
Send a reminder

Ignore all requests for references / screening information

Be polite and friendly throughout.

Pick 10 ladies are try that approach and don't be surprised the day you wanted to see one of them to get a message "Hey. Did you still want to see me today?"

Repeat for effect and after a couple of months you have a few references.

The monkeyontheirback weighs a lot more at times......

Ignore all requests for references / screening information Originally Posted by Whispers

Interesting advice from the person most likely to be at the front of the line to blame a provider for not screening properly.

Interesting advice from the person most likely to be at the front of the line to blame a provider for not screening properly. Originally Posted by RetiredNinja

+1

Interesting advice from the person most likely to be at the front of the line to blame a provider for not screening properly. Originally Posted by RetiredNinja

I am not here to teach a woman how to run their business...... I do offer advice at times when guys are looking at how to get what they want.

If a woman drops her standards allowing desperation to overcome her normal business practices that is on her.

Don't you get tired of hearing them all the time whining about screening and day after day they screw up because their needs outweigh their sensibilities?

this was a big issue for me since i don't hobby frequently either. just figure out ways for alternative screening with providers you want to see and over time build up your reputation.

if you don't hobby much it's going to be rough getting girls to continue to vouch for you in the traditional reference giving way long after seeing you. My advice would be to maintain an account at and build a reputation on P411, it makes screening a breeze. Your okays never expire and once you have enough of them that's all you'll need.

I would look for girls who are newbie friendly and are also on p411, look on Eccie for reviews on them to make sure they are what you're looking for, then schedule using p411.

After you have even one Okay on there you'll be able to relatively easily find girls who will see you. As Whispers mentioned, touring girls often have less stringent requirements. Do that a few times and write reviews on your experiences here while (most importantly) getting okays on p411 and you'll be in good shape to see pretty much anyone else you want. Once you have 3-5 okays screening becomes a non issue.

Yes, some girls will not see you if you don't have any recent Okays (3-6 months depending on the girl) but the fact of the matter is that probably 75% of the time I book an appointment the girl never even looks at my profile so I know all she's doing is looking at the number of okays and nothing more.

Good luck. Welcome to the dark side


P.s. Don't give out your real world info to the newbie friendly girls unless you're absolutely comfortable with that. Once your anonymity is sacrificed you never know what is done with that information. 99% of the time it's completely fine...until it's not.

There are plenty of girls who won't require it, I suggest you find one of them even if it means termporarily expanding your list of girls you're willing to see. Consider it an investment in your hobbying future.

Also, if you are open to it some gals will meet with you for lunch or dinner before agreeing to an appointment. I have done that with gents who are not comfortable with giving information; plus it is a nice way to see if you all will click.

If you have $$$ you will find girls that will see you, regardless of what their ads say.

I don't hobby much either. A few girls about 5 years ago, and then a LONG break, and a few more this last year. Getting "back in" was more of a challenge than I thought (even with 2 okays on P411 from that long ago). Although within a week I was seeing the girls I wanted.

First, I just found a couple that were extremely low priced with P411 accounts. Scheduled a 15 or 30 min session, verbally verified it was important to me to get an "okay" from the session, and set up 3 appointments in the same day just to kick up my okays with least dollars spent.

At that point all girls were active, and I was fresh in their mind...
I also wrote some reviews to help establish my presence.
That approach worked well for me.

I don't link my activities to my handle in any way. My privacy guards are so high that my email address will be deleted if a provider does not respond within time restrictions, and cannot be traced back to me. Don't even ask about the email address that Eccie has.

I have found that the methods I used long ago probably don't work now.
Getting to know who is on the boards and interacting on a limited basis for a few months will open a few doors. Learning who is who, what is BS and what is not, and making an effort to reach out to providers who are what you will accept and politely ask to meet for a drink after some "feeling out conversations" and offer to buy a nice dinner if you get along. (I used to offer to pay for time but I had my best luck with just offering to cover the tab) I had several gals who were over my expectations contacting me with communication that let me know that the flood gates were open. The rest is history.**** Be aware that there are games that are played with references and make sure you do your homework on who you see the first few times. That's why you make friends who will tell you if you are doing something stupid, trying to bang a MODS wanna be SO, or if they are BSC will save you lots of grief.
Remember these are pit bulls and even though you think they like you they can maul you, make you lose your career, your marriage, home, and possibly even access to you children.

Good luck but I will suggest that you stay under the radar until you KNOW that you are safe and cannot be outted as even the best mongers leave tell tale morsels of incriminating data to be harvested and held against them. I know as one of my businesses does vetting for upper management candidates for Fortune 100 companies. They pay bonus $$$ for saving face information that the others couldn't find. We can tell clients if you had corn for dinner a week ago if they want to know. Please don't ask how I know how we can do this. (don't shake hands with a plumber)

Just remember this: Hoogars (all but the elusive) will give you up anytime it will benefit them, They will leave your data on their phone, computers, or worse on cloud email accounts where with an arrest or warrent LE can access the physical info. but a savvy PI or atty. can gain access to them on the cloud, through the courts or otherwise.

Remember that a contact can come back to haunt you even 10 years later. Choose carefully!!! Don't sacrifice your security, and don't ever think you are bulletproof.

Good luck

My best advice is to make sure you don't fail to fund your retirement, children's education funds, and rainy day funds just to get your dick wet. The aforementioned are far more valuable than blasting a load of cum on a strangers tits or down her throat no matter how badly your little head tells you that it's important.

+1000 RandB, we are in the digital age of the now. Nothing online is really hidden and even if deleted that doesn't mean it's gone. It's also why I don't review, because I don't see the need to add dot's for someone to connect. I am single now so not as important, but still important to me.

I know some great women, but I also know some batshit crazy ones too. Sane today doesn't mean she won't be batshit crazy tomorrow. lol

No offense to the ladies, I'm sure having a vagina doesn't mean you have the batshit crazy market cornered.

I do network cyber security. I won't do p411 because even though they claim they delete info after they vet you I call bullshit. there's data there. I don't do penetration testing without being paid but if there is a website that can't be hacked I've never found it and none of my peers have either. Some just take longer than others.

For references, lunch's work great. I used to have a regular lunch with a provider here and she would always bring some new friends of hers. Screening was done over sushi and drinks and you got to meet in person without worrying about camera angles or photoshop or pictures from 10 years ago. There was some criticism that ladies were taking advantage of a free lunch but the 100 dollars spent on lunch to avoid a 250 dollar shitty session was a worthy investment of my time and money, when the sessions I did have would last 2 or 3 hours with the occasional pro bono booty call because she got horny at 1 am.

And a lot of these gals are damn fine people. You don't get a chance to see that sometimes when you know you have 15, 30 or 60 minutes to get it done.

Sessions are so much more fun if you click.

Below are two of the most helpful postings I have read in some time. Great information and all should heed the concerns from two folks that understand internet security and the need to protect privacy.

I also approve of the luncheon concept--have done similar with other ladies in the recent past. Also, attend some of the socials to meet folks face-to-face. You may find there are some diamonds in rough and some of the best experiences may be MILFs with nice looks and super sex drives, things you will never learn reading postings and reviews.

Thanks guys.

I don't link my activities to my handle in any way. My privacy guards are so high that my email address will be deleted if a provider does not respond within time restrictions, and cannot be traced back to me. Don't even ask about the email address that Eccie has.

I have found that the methods I used long ago probably don't work now.
Getting to know who is on the boards and interacting on a limited basis for a few months will open a few doors. Learning who is who, what is BS and what is not, and making an effort to reach out to providers who are what you will accept and politely ask to meet for a drink after some "feeling out conversations" and offer to buy a nice dinner if you get along. (I used to offer to pay for time but I had my best luck with just offering to cover the tab) I had several gals who were over my expectations contacting me with communication that let me know that the flood gates were open. The rest is history.**** Be aware that there are games that are played with references and make sure you do your homework on who you see the first few times. That's why you make friends who will tell you if you are doing something stupid, trying to bang a MODS wanna be SO, or if they are BSC will save you lots of grief.
Remember these are pit bulls and even though you think they like you they can maul you, make you lose your career, your marriage, home, and possibly even access to you children.

Good luck but I will suggest that you stay under the radar until you KNOW that you are safe and cannot be outted as even the best mongers leave tell tale morsels of incriminating data to be harvested and held against them. I know as one of my businesses does vetting for upper management candidates for Fortune 100 companies. They pay bonus $$$ for saving face information that the others couldn't find. We can tell clients if you had corn for dinner a week ago if they want to know. Please don't ask how I know how we can do this. (don't shake hands with a plumber)

Just remember this: Hoogars (all but the elusive) will give you up anytime it will benefit them, They will leave your data on their phone, computers, or worse on cloud email accounts where with an arrest or warrent LE can access the physical info. but a savvy PI or atty. can gain access to them on the cloud, through the courts or otherwise.

Remember that a contact can come back to haunt you even 10 years later. Choose carefully!!! Don't sacrifice your security, and don't ever think you are bulletproof.

Good luck

My best advice is to make sure you don't fail to fund your retirement, children's education funds, and rainy day funds just to get your dick wet. The aforementioned are far more valuable than blasting a load of cum on a strangers tits or down her throat no matter how badly your little head tells you that it's important. Originally Posted by RandB fan

+1000 RandB, we are in the digital age of the now. Nothing online is really hidden and even if deleted that doesn't mean it's gone. It's also why I don't review, because I don't see the need to add dot's for someone to connect. I am single now so not as important, but still important to me.

I know some great women, but I also know some batshit crazy ones too. Sane today doesn't mean she won't be batshit crazy tomorrow. lol

No offense to the ladies, I'm sure having a vagina doesn't mean you have the batshit crazy market cornered.

I do network cyber security. I won't do p411 because even though they claim they delete info after they vet you I call bullshit. there's data there. I don't do penetration testing without being paid but if there is a website that can't be hacked I've never found it and none of my peers have either. Some just take longer than others.

For references, lunch's work great. I used to have a regular lunch with a provider here and she would always bring some new friends of hers. Screening was done over sushi and drinks and you got to meet in person without worrying about camera angles or photoshop or pictures from 10 years ago. There was some criticism that ladies were taking advantage of a free lunch but the 100 dollars spent on lunch to avoid a 250 dollar shitty session was a worthy investment of my time and money, when the sessions I did have would last 2 or 3 hours with the occasional pro bono booty call because she got horny at 1 am.

And a lot of these gals are damn fine people. You don't get a chance to see that sometimes when you know you have 15, 30 or 60 minutes to get it done.

Sessions are so much more fun if you click. Originally Posted by budman33

Mia, it's time to do house keeping on the newb friendly list, honey.

A word of advice- don't send your alternative information via pm. Ask the lady to erase it after your session together. Don't give more than you are comfortable giving, but do know that most ladies will require some type of information. You both just have to find that middle ground you are comfortable with.

And make sure...check with the guys on which girls are timely in their vouches. Imo, part of being a newbie friendly provider, means that they get to use you a solid reference. And maybe schooling the gentleman a little about the hobby to keep him safe. I try to do that with any new guys.

I will not say don't see that girl or gossip or whatever. I just tell them how to research and things to look out for. I know a lot of girls do tell their clients who to see or not see. It's a shame that those clients miss out on other potential good girls, because of that. Lol. I hear from my good clients the kind of shit girls talk about me. Sheezus. I find it amusing and sad.

Sorry I digress. The good girls you'll notice, won't gossip about each other or anyone to you. IJS.