SO

I have been on this board for some time, though I don't post reviews. I am also a member of P411. I am not a newby at all and have seen my share of providers. I am now in a long term relationship and finding it hard to give up the hobby. I don't want to get anything and give it to my SO. How do other guys manage this? Do you worry about it? There are some things you can get even with a condom. Just curious.

If you don't want to get anything and give it to her then stop hobbying. There is, and always will be, risk. Quality providers mitigate that risk, though.

Alternative - get her into the hobby as well. And then if you get something then she will also.

You're in the wrong hobby. Try bowling.

No way to eliminate risk, but doing everything covered is a pretty good safety measure that gets your risk close to zero on the most serious risks.

Consider using more barriers. You can receive covered blow jobs and use a dental dam for cunnilingus.

Being real, someone is just as likely if not more likely to get an STI from their significant other. Both women and men seem to have laxer standards when engaging in civilian dating. Meanwhile nearly all sex workers I personally know are meticulous when it comes to their sexual health.

Nicey Said ...

Consider using more barriers. You can receive covered blow jobs and use a dental dam for cunnilingus.

Being real, someone is just as likely if not more likely to get an STI from their significant other. Both women and men seem to have laxer standards when engaging in civilian dating. Meanwhile nearly all sex workers I personally know are meticulous when it comes to their sexual health. Originally Posted by Lena Duvall

Sub Amps.
Rub n Tug
NE / SE exposure

I will retort from the other side...

If you still need the hobby, maybe you should drop the SO.

Is she isnt enough, why keep her?

Is she isnt enough, why keep her? Originally Posted by needingmilking

If you really have to ask that question, I don't think any of us can help you. But I'll try.

A girlfriend and a hooker are not the same thing. If a girl meets your every emotional need and sucks in bed (in a bad way), is it really so bad to get the 10% she doesn't give you somewhere else, then go back home to enjoy the 90% she does give you? He's only hurting her feelings if she finds out. And if she finds out it's because he's stupid. As long as he's not stupid, the crime is victimless.

That being said, I don't see myself doing that at all, if I had a girlfriend I'd probably find something else to do to kill time. Still, I totally support anyone's right to do anything they want if they're not hurting anyone.

If you really have to ask that question, I don't think any of us can help you. But I'll try. Originally Posted by dgc92

I did not ask for help, to tell you the truth. My point is not that I want help. I am posting for the opposite side, why settle for anything? If you put all the positives and negatives aspects of having a SO and hobby, it is easily more negative to hobby!
1 Hurt her feelings,
2 hurt her health,
3 hurt your health,
4 get in trouble with the law,
5 family and work affected...

BUT if still you know all this, and STILL need to think about it...

It is easier to drop the SO. You drop 2 out of 5!

Obviously is better to drop the hobby, you lose all 5 negative items.

A girlfriend and a hooker are not the same thing. If a girl meets your every emotional need and sucks in bed (in a bad way), is it really so bad to get the 10% she doesn't give you somewhere else, then go back home to enjoy the 90% she does give you? Originally Posted by dgc92

90/10? I am not sure how you get your math. If the OP needs to think about it, despite all pros/cons, it is closer to 50/50.

He's only hurting her feelings if she finds out. And if she finds out it's because he's stupid. As long as he's not stupid, the crime is victimless. Originally Posted by dgc92

IF you really have to write this, "I don't think any of us can help you. But I'll try:"
This is a numbers game. Eventually you will either get caught by the police (not yet for me), will get a bad experience with a pimp(not really yet), or will be exposed to other imponderables (flat at a no-tel motel), or get a minor disease (I got an urinary track infection, and gonorrea), or get a bad disease (thank god not yet), or someone will recognize your car (hell no), or you might run into someone at the AMP (in NYC, a coworker)...

AND this crime is NOT victim less!! Most of the ladies here are not on a hopeless situation, but some are, say past, family, actual indenture servitude (pretty much slavery)...

Most likely than not, we, as users of this hobby, participate in a larger enterprise, willingly or not.

Go with your eyes open.

I stand by my comment, and I add:

If you CANNOT live without her, then dont. Leave the hobby and dont look back.

Otherwise, leave the poor woman alone, let her get a real relationship.

Wow, I thought my post was long, but you got me beat.

Again. You only get caught if you're stupid. If you don't get caught, her feelings aren't hurt. And none of the rest of your negatives happen either. Also, you only endanger her health if you're stupid.

How many people do you know who caught something when they did everything covered? I'm not asking if it's technically possible, we all know it is. I'm asking, risk to any one individual, how likely is it to actually happen?

How many people do you know who got outed if they just stuck to verified, reputable providers? Again, not asking if it's possible. Just asking how likely it is.

When you get in trouble, with the hobby or anything else, it's usually because you fucked yourself. No mean feat, yet how often we pull it off.

And you asked for help implicitly when you posted a question in a community discussion forum. PM the OP if you just want his input. Talk to an empty room if you don't want anybody's.

Again. You only get caught if you're stupid. If you don't get caught, her feelings aren't hurt. And none of the rest of your negatives happen either. Also, you only endanger her health if you're stupid. Originally Posted by dgc92

True, but everyone thinks is smart...

How many people do you know who caught something when they did everything covered? I'm not asking if it's technically possible, we all know it is. I'm asking, risk to any one individual, how likely is it to actually happen?

How many people do you know who got outed if they just stuck to verified, reputable providers? Again, not asking if it's possible. Just asking how likely it is. Originally Posted by dgc92

well, those are not smart questions. Why? because I will not out anyone, and because no one really knows.

BUT your argument is as valid as mine. How do you know no one has been caught when doing everything right? You dont know. We have no double blind random studies that can help us here.

When you get in trouble, with the hobby or anything else, it's usually because you fucked yourself. No mean feat, yet how often we pull it off. Originally Posted by dgc92

As I said, it is a numbers game. The more you play, the higher the risk.

And you asked for help implicitly when you posted a question in a community discussion forum. PM the OP if you just want his input. Talk to an empty room if you don't want anybody's. Originally Posted by dgc92

I asked you nothing. For some reason you feel attacked and your feelings are hurt and are hijacking this thread for no reason. You feel you have to comment on my comment with you asking for data that doesnt exist, or how likely things could be...

What the OP asked, is how do we manage with the a SO and the hobby. My point is, if it bothers you, if you have to think about it, then dont manage it, chose one.

If you could stay on point and argue what the OP ask, maybe you would not be breaking the rules of the board.

I made a comment to the OP. You are arguing with me for no reason, and with bad arguments. I dont want your input. But if you address me, I will address you back.

But stop hijacking the thread, please.

It's truly amazing you could write such a long post and only have two very small parts worth responding to.

I will not out anyone Originally Posted by needingmilking

Didn't ask you for names.

But stop hijacking the thread, please.

Takes two to hijack, sweet pea.

If you are really smart you will not get caught. LOL. If you say probably then might agree. But I do not think anyone is so smart they have no chance of getting caught.

To me if there is even a small chance of getting caught and you still do it then you cannot say you really care about this SO to which you refer. That is just my opinion. Continue to hobby and you are knowingly taking a chance (however small it may be) of breaking the person's heart.

How about trying this? Come clean with her about your hobby. If she say cool no problem then dilemma solved. If she says nice knowing you then still dilemma solved.

Well, yes. Ideally he'd come clean and she'd either accept it or not. But OP didn't ask whether he should come clean. He's basically asking how he can keep going without telling her. In which case my best advice is "Don't be stupid." Which is mostly my advice for everything. If you're careful, you (probably) won't get caught, either through diseases or other ways.

See, I added a parenthetical "probably," just for you, Valen. Because you're right, nothing is 100%.