Learning to take control

restaurantguy67's Avatar
I've been corresponding online with someone I expect to meet in a month. I am a very "take control" person in daily life, but have always been extremely considerate, even deferential, in the bedroom.

From our discussions, I know my new paramour has tried things I haven't even dreamed of. She's typically been very dominant, but has been exploring her submissive side for a couple of years, and has found that she loves everything from rough sex to full domination. But she commented earlier in our communication, before she realized that I had no experience in these areas, that it's difficult to explore that with guys who aren't experience in it, because "they're always like, 'oh, am i hurting you?', 'are you sure that's ok?', halfhearted in going at it really rough, and so on.

We hit it off incredibly well as far as intellectual and conversational pursuits, but I'd like to make it great for her in the bedroom, as well as when we're discussing literature. Any pointers/resources/recommendations about learning to go from deferential and accommodating to give her the kind of time in the bedroom she'll love?

[By the way, I don't think the issue is personality. I don't have any concern that, "Oh, I just could never do that." It's just more that I have no experience at it, and don't want to be amateurish when we first get together.]
houston_switch's Avatar
Communicate first (you already are doing that) and have a safeword something more than "STOP"... Also be sure to inquire about outer limits... punished until...
have a fun time...
h_s
ResturauntGuy,

I would be glad to chat with you privately about how to approach this...

Let me know,
PPE