Business Only?

so your telling me that providers dont really care about a client and are willing to go the extra mile to ensure our saftey, say it isnt so, say it isnt so, i think alot of guys have it in thier heads becuase so and so "likes" to be with me, they must really like me, its kinda said to think that i mean its a business to them and a hobby to us, i think the smart thing is for non of us to get attached, now i enjoy spending my time and money with providers, but i would never think they in any way shape or form would like me outside the hobby, simple way to test this suggest a non paid date and see where you stand if you ever feel yourself thinking this once they tell you NO, it should resolve any doubt you might have, i think with the recent hacks into the married dating and cheating sites alot of people are scared, just my thoughts Originally Posted by jeffycisme

A bit off topic from the original topic but, I think this is a very unfair blanket statement! Some of us truly enjoy our clients and develop real friendships within boundaries. I really liked my last employer, but he still didn't expect me to come to the office from free just to prove it. I've been known to accompany established hobby friends to dinner or lunch off the clock after a date. Yes, it's a business but that does not mean that we are all cold and heartless!! Originally Posted by Felina

I agree, this topic is better served in it's own thread. I have nothing against jeffycisme, only commenting on his post. I've seen this sentiment expressed many times and felt that it needed to be commented on. .

There are guys here who for whatever reasons see it as "us vs. them" and guys that don't. Say anything nice about a lady and the "us vs. them" guys are all over your ass. I'm not fooling myself at all. I fully understand that first and foremost this is a business. I get that. But I also get the fact that - as long as certain boundaries are respected - there can be something resembling friendship in the hobby. I say "resembling" because those boundaries have to be respected and that makes it different somewhat from a civie friendship. Are they going to get naked with me for free? Nope. But tell me what other sex you've had in your life - civie or otherwise - that did not cost you something? It's the nature of the beast. You can't do this with everybody you may meet here but there are some - kinda like real life. And the day it gets to be business ONLY for me is the day I quit the hobby.

Of course something could develop out of a session. Feelings develop and before you know it you start seeing providers posting farewell messages and such.
Usually the provider believes she's found a meal ticket or the hobbyist believe they've found a way to have a sure thing around the house or on a retainer. Almost always these situations end with the provider coming back and the hobbyist changing his handle to avoid being ridiculed by his fellow hobbyist. Of course the feelings remain real for one party as they always run to defend the honor of the provider.

Are all providers the same? Absolutely not, but this scenario seems to run through the ranks fairly frequently. All women want security and all men want attention, it's life, it's chemicals, it's the way mankind is wired.

Women get married when they can and have sex when they want.
Men get married when they want and have sex when they can.

Blad posted once that " women have all the pussy, but only half the money "

Take the hobby for what it is, a business transaction and maybe sometimes a friendship that MUST have a specific boundary.

Of course feelings can develop within a client/provider situation, just as they can within any other career field. Believe it or not, real love/committed relationships are not about finding "meal tickets"! Some providers are actually educated women who have other career options (imagine that) yet chose to enjoy the hobby and the friendships made here. Guys are not always looking to keep a "sure thing around the house or on retainer" as many of us are much more expensive girlfriends than we are as providers!!

There are times that real relationships that begin in the hobby last for years, yet for one reason or another (often nothing to do with the hobby) come to an end, feelings remain for each part and they remain very close even after the break up. Often times handles require changing not to avoid ridicule but due to being outed by someone outside of that relationship.

Many of us are completely capable of providing our own security in the hobby or any other career field that we chose.

I agree, the hobby is a business transaction. Asking for or expecting BCD time without paying is much closer to real world dating and again, I'm much more expensive as a girlfriend than I am a provider.

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Take the hobby for what it is, a business transaction and maybe sometimes a friendship that MUST have a specific boundary. Originally Posted by Das Ficker

99.999% of the time, that's all there is to be said about the hobby.
That other .001% can be confusing as Hell. Like a tornado, it happens... just hang on tight, because like in any other relationship , * * i t happens too.

In my job, I have some clients that I like and I develop a real friendship with. I sometimes go out for a drink or dinner with them when it's completely unrelated to work. I have other clients that I don't really like. I just tolerate them for the sake of my business. However, I expect all of my clients to pay for my services. Why would entertainment providing be any different? As long as boundaries are established and maintained, there's no reason to believe that a friendship, of some level, could not happen.

In my job, I have some clients that I like and I develop a real friendship with. I sometimes go out for a drink or dinner with them when it's completely unrelated to work. I have other clients that I don't really like. I just tolerate them for the sake of my business. However, I expect all of my clients to pay for my services. Why would entertainment providing be any different? As long as boundaries are established and maintained, there's no reason to believe that a friendship, of some level, could not happen. Originally Posted by willro

Exactly my point!!

In my job, I have some clients that I like and I develop a real friendship with. I sometimes go out for a drink or dinner with them when it's completely unrelated to work. I have other clients that I don't really like. I just tolerate them for the sake of my business. However, I expect all of my clients to pay for my services. Why would entertainment providing be any different? As long as boundaries are established and maintained, there's no reason to believe that a friendship, of some level, could not happen. Originally Posted by willro

Well said.

i think i was meaning the majority of the providers, felina you may be and are different, the fact is its a business transaction for sure, do i like spending time with some providers over others yes, but for the most part its your done ok hun gotta go, or you have to go, when your time is up they are gone, and your not gonna see or hear from them again until the next time you make that transaction, moost dont even want you to communicate with them unless your ready to see them now, just the way it is, now i did have a great time with one provider for a extended period of time, but when it was over it was over, i text her every once in awhile but she has a so and its just to set up the next trip so, when i ask myself of all the providers i have seen how many have ever called me and wanted to meet for a non hobby related drink the answer is 0, im not a us against them guy i love women, but i dont sit around thinking a provider is my best friend either.

Jeff.. Dude all you're doing is rambling and being repetitive. These girls are busy working and have scheduled appointments. When your time is up its up they shouldn't even tell you that you have to go.

Do you think they have the time to randomly call all their clients to just hi and ask how their day was? Ask yourself this... If you were making $200-$300+ an hour would you want to "take time off" to go out with random clients all the time and lose money.

Not trying to be a dick, but geez man c'mon

I've been friends with more than 1 provider and I'm not high traffic at all, especially these days. I'm more apt to repeat often with someone I click with than the constant worry about who's going to be on the other side of the door

I think being able to be "friends" outside the actual business transaction depends on the maturity of the provider and hobbyist. I have some men that I have a friendship with and I have had guys that take it wayyyy to far. For example, I had a client who calls every now and then and after a session texts and calls wanting "a relationship". I literally tell him "Don't start that" lol. I would nevaaaaa evaaaaa go out to dinner with him or have drinks or just sit around and talk after a visit. It would be cruel. LOL
I have made some awesome friends here!!!