Prevent a spanking from hurting

Any ideas from the ones who are into spanking, how do you prevent it from hurting too bad? do you have to build a tolerance?


I want to get spanked but not playfully or silly.
however I also don't want to get bruises and bleed, etc.


Some middle ground, but I don't know how to build a tolerance.
Zena's Avatar
  • Zena
  • 09-28-2019, 04:44 PM
I am looking for the answers to this too.

The few nice considerate Doms I have had, rub the butt cheek area
Massaging it lightly not too rough after 1 or 2 or several hits on my ass cheeks.....
That seems to help then a couple more spanks then. Massage...
Repeat as needed.

Neosporin on the area later helps along with cold compresses to help with the bruising

Although I dont know if its warm compresses we need, or cold.

I just like the cold. .
Thank you, Zena♡
melannie_star's Avatar
I alternate sides to not keep going over the same area.

know the tender area's
and watch your reaction.
Reading your partner is important during bondage..
I thought the mushiest part would hurt less, butt
It may also leave bruising..I like the side of the butt where you have muscle..


When I allow spanking, it is with one condition..
I get to yell at you and curse you out.
It takes away from the pain..
I have to warn my Doms about my foul mouth
Instead of yes sir it is usually a Fuck You!



I think holding your breath or the anticipation makes it hurt worse.

WALDT
When it comes to an open hand spanking, or even implements that are more thuddy (like a leather or wooden paddle) I can't think of many reason why one's skin would be broken. Every once in a while I do enjoy more stingy implements like dragon tails or bullwhips. When on the receiving end of those, the pain usually feels sharper and the bruises can be more intense. But if you're being spanked with just bare hands, your skin might initially redden but the coloring will go away quickly.

So yes, building up a tolerance for receiving pain is a thing. But also how / the extent to which you bruise depends a lot on which tool is being used. And of course, when possible, explore with knowledgeable impact play tops.
ztonk's Avatar
  • ztonk
  • 09-28-2019, 07:06 PM
As with all things, good communication is important. Let your partner know where you're at, what your concerns are, what you want to get out of the experience, etc. During the activity, use code words to let them know when to back off or to stop (yellow and red work well.)

If you're just starting out down this path, stick with just having them use their hand. (Their hand will most likely get tired way before your butt is raw.) A glancing blow will give a nice "smack" sound but not much pain. Alternate between those and a real swat. All the previous suggestions are good (alternate cheeks, caresses and massages in between, etc.

Experiment and have fun with it!

z
Thanks for the responses so far
DallasRain's Avatar
Yes building a tolerance helps

also start slow & with soft paddles,working up to floggers and harder type paddles.

I like to use warm coconut oil massaged on the butt first..it helps
The last time I did a spanking, I broke skin. He brought over 12 paddles - different sizes. That last one did it. I was so worried about infection I stopped offering it. Plus I don't like the sight of blood.
Gotyour6's Avatar
For my girl pain is part of it.

If you are excited enough it becomes pleasurable

That and not hitting the same area.
Riding crop is good too
GypsyHeart's Avatar


So yes, building up a tolerance for receiving pain is a thing. But also how / the extent to which you bruise depends a lot on which tool is being used. And of course, when possible, explore with knowledgeable impact play tops.
Originally Posted by Lena Duvall
I have never gone full force in a first encounter with someone. It takes a few sessions to learn their body and reactions.
Chung Tran's Avatar
If you're just starting out down this path, stick with just having them use their hand. (Their hand will most likely get tired way before your butt is raw.) A glancing blow will give a nice "smack" sound but not much pain. Alternate between those and a real swat. Originally Posted by ztonk
I like spanking, but this is the extent of what I involve myself with, giving and receiving.. that is fun, but I'm not into anything beyond mild and brief pain. paddles and belts don't work, part of the pleasure is my bare palm on bare ass
This is totally understandable. As a submissive, I'm a voracious pain slut and spanking bottom. Because I have really fine tuned my intuition and screening parameters for kink sessions, I welcome a Dominant suitor who arranges a date with me to give me all he's got.

But warming up is crucial. This is just one of the many reasons why a D/s session with me needs to be at least 1.5 or ideally 2 hours. I crave to be walloped by eager hands and thuddy implements.

So yes, fuck me up on a first date! That process can't be rushed though. Things feel safest for me when there's a slow and steady build up.


I have never gone full force in a first encounter with someone.
houston_switch's Avatar
I like being spanked. I usually look for a multi-hour session. We start slow using a beautiful English hair brush. Stingy and due to it's tiny mass, not much more than some color on the skin. Then we move up to some wooden kitchen items. More spanks anywhere between 75 and 120 swatts per time. Some bcd activity between spankings. At some point we go off to eat. Nothing like sitting on a burning butt while eating and getting to know each other. After dinner dessert. Bcd activity and more heavier spankings with a caning at the end to finish me off. By the time we are done, my bottom is well marked, but most will fade overnight. The feeling lingers the next day....so much fun.
I wholeheartedly agree. The lingering pain is so sweet.
The mistress will be able to sense your level if she is any good at all. If you do a role play, she will give you an out when she thinks you've had enough. So even if it is only 20 minutes into the session, don't be smart with her, or the beating will continue. Even if you don't do role play, she will ask you to disengage in some way. That's how you keep it from hurting, don't get more than you can take. Lena Duvall is absolutely correct, the lingering pain for 3 to 4 days will keep you thinking about the mistress.