Authentic encounters that do not include a female orgasm ... a discussion? Or, if a woman doesn't orgasm during your time with her, is your time with her diminished?

Why is a man's personally perceived sexuality so tied into his ability to make a woman climax?

I'm aggressively upfront about my general preferences. If you know me and have seen me, chances are very good that you know my likes and dislikes.

And the activities that I like to do with a man, well I like them a lot. A whole lot!

But often, I will have an assignation that doesn't really include sex at all. Or the encounter will be a very intense back and forth of everything from ... well, all of you know what I'm trying to say in this sentence.

For women, I don't believe that an orgasm is always the more important thing to happen all of the time. For myself, I can have a wonderful time with a man ... an authentic and true time with him and not orgasm at all.

The reason why I wish to start a topic about this is because so many men find it their duty to MAKE me orgasm. That is the wording often used. "I want to make you orgasm at least three times before our time is done."

Well, that's nice. Those who know me know that with certain activities, I orgasm quickly and very loudly. I like to orgasm and I'm blessed that I'm able to so easily. It is a blessing.

But sometimes, it's a curse, too.

I'm not sure what I'm writing is coming across as what I'm trying to say here but let me try again.

I can have an excellent time being with you. Even if I just tease you and tease you and am not even touched "down there".

Sometimes, it's completely alright to let our time together be just about you.

Or mutually giving pleasure (kissing wildly, massages, touches where ever you wish) without the expectation that I have to orgasm for your pleasure would make my time with some so much nicer overall.

Although I tend to please men in this category, often, I wish that it wasn't such a huge goal of the men that I meet to make me climax.

It's alright if I do not.

When I speak to a stranger and he tells me how many times that he's going to make me orgasm with his tongue and I still do not know his first name, it's just not a turn on at all.

Really, I'm not trying to run off potential clients. I wish to alleviate some of the performance anxieties many of you have. You don't have to MAKE us orgasm when you're with us. I know that you like it and if you do, that's fine (actually, often it's great!).

But don't do it because you read in reviews that it's almost a requirement to make a woman orgasm at least 7 times in a one hour time frame. Or wait. Elisabeth. You've only had one orgasm? I want you to do it again! Now.

It's just not needed. The best encounters are ones that don't have such expectations. Things happen. A gentle kiss turns into a savage moan.

A sensual caress develops into much more.

There. I wrote it. Hopefully, I've not run off too many potential suitors!

Elisabeth

Women orgasm? Since when? Shit, people a simple memo would suffice to let us know of these new developments.

90% of my visits & reviews are for B&G. As with any Hobby, Hobby time is about "Me", not anyone else. It's my time to relax, decompress and enjoy the a woman's skills at making me feel good. There are times where FS, or DATY and other activities are involved. My assumption is that she sees enough guys regularly that she is going thru the motions and I am another "John" in a revolving door. The bad example that will get me flamed is as follows - Hello, exchange fee, go thru the motions, clean up, leave. (Lather, rinse, repeat).

Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed giving a provider an "O" and hope that I am giving her pleasure. However, as in all Hobbies, a Hobby is about the enjoyment and relaxation of the person who has the Hobby. Spending time with a variety of wonderful women and girls, and Flying are my Hobbies and I'll enjoy them with or without mutual orgasms.

Hell, I'm getting to an age where I don't even have to orgasm every time.

Give me authentic any day. Leave the fake O's to the boys.

Great post. I hope it improves sessions for everyone.My experience has been that a woman has to truly be into it to make it happen, and it is about her mindset and mood. it cannot be forced.

Hell, I'm getting to an age where I don't even have to orgasm every time.

Give me authentic any day. Leave the fake O's to the boys. Originally Posted by TinMan

It's great to hear from another old fart with diminishing sexual function.

Generally, women are more difficult to bring to orgasm. Often, there has to be an emotional attachment. If that exists, multiple O's are common.

It is great when it happens. It makes you feel like a stud. There is nothing like feeling the muscles contract and quiver as she squeals. But it doesn't happen every time.

As far as the fake "O's", I'm nut sure. It is a turn-on to hear a lady enjoying herself & I will try to continue what is pleasing her over my own needs (which often don't go to completion). If she builds up to an explosion, It helps be get there too.

If she's faking, I don't want to know.

elisabeth, you posted...

Why is a man's personally perceived sexuality so tied into his ability to make a woman climax?

For women, I don't believe that an orgasm is always the more important thing to happen all of the time. For myself, I can have a wonderful time with a man ... an authentic and true time with him and not orgasm at all.

in general, why is a man's personally perceived sexuality associated w/ the results?
in general, because men are results oriented.
and, like you said, in general for women, an orgasm isnt always the more important thing.

it's just the way our minds are screwed together:
men are generally interested in results. [ok, one track minded :^)]
women are generally interested in the goals or the path or the flowers or the colors or the textures or the scents along the way.
there's lot of literature and research about how females and males think and act differently.

one approach might be more efficient or more complete or less strenuous or less well-rounded.
but neither approach is better. they're just different.
and we should learn and apply that observation, lest we interact with people the way "we" think they should be, when we should be interacting with them in the way they really are.

elisabeth, you also posted...

The reason why I wish to start a topic about this is because so many men find it their duty to MAKE me orgasm. That is the wording often used. "I want to make you orgasm at least three times before our time is done."

seriously?!?!?! soon after guys meet you they say that?
talk about results oriented without even knowing what her goals are!

kind of like Von Spieler said, deliteful encounters are mainly about my deliteful pleasures. and sometimes doing what i can to assist the woman in enjoying deliteful pleasures is part of that.

for example, the other day, i really wanted some oral delites. the woman i visited is well known for that skill. soon after we started, i kinda figured out that she really wanted an orgasm. so, i digitally assisted her to one then two orgasms. she then told me "i recently learned how to have more than three in a row." i asked "good for you! would you like more than three now?" she replied "one more will do." i helped her get to number three [they're more the body shaking and wiggling kind and not the screaming "OH MY YES OH MY!" kind]. then after a break for cuddling, she brought lil delites to a deliteful cumclusion.
so, even tho the visit was about my delites, i helped her get some.
we both got what we wanted.

bottom line, some guys are into results. some guys are into the journey.
if all else fails, just ask what they are into that particular morning, noon, or night.

Women only have O's after chewing their kitty.

In the real world i might worry about it. not here!

Well crap I will put my 1.3 dangling comments in here. LOL

For myself, I am a two way person, I love to give pleasures as well as receive! I know it doesn't happen every time but its when a Lady is riding you and all of a sudden starts to slide slowly pressing down on you, moving slowly back and fore, grinding and she has her hands on your chest and you feel the squeeze of her hands on your chest, her head lowers as the orgasm is coming forward. OMG And the she reaches back and rubs the sweetness on your balls, damn it that is so freaking amazing! And when you are in mish and you think she has had an orgasm and when you move around and there is a nice wet spot or two on the bed...Damn that is hot!!!!!
Sorry, like I said, my dangling comments....sorry to use you phrases Mr. P.

POINT IS.... I love knowing I have pleasured the Lady!!!!

Thanks and have a Great day!!!!!!!

The female orgasm is a myth, like Bigfoot, Atlantis, or democracy.

JK

Making my partner orgasm is very important to me in real life, and as much as possible in the hobby. I guess I understand the point your making that the orgasm isn't the most important thing to you. I don't think all women would agree with you. I've been with plenty who valued bustin a nut as much as I do.

I personally get the most turned on when I'm with a woman who is enjoying herself as much as I am. Her having one or preferably many orgasms is a pretty good indication that is happening.

When I started I felt compelled to try, thinking it was sort of expected, but over time I realized I don't need to. I am paying for the experience to achieve a level of pleasure for me. If the desire strikes me in the heat of the moment then sure, but I don't feel like its required.

It's like thinking you have to give the masseuse a massage back; doesn't make sense. Or letting the waiter try your food so he/she can share the experience.


If you want to have at it, but the expectation shouldn't be there on either side.


Hopefully I'm not running off providers...

It's like thinking you have to give the masseuse a massage back; doesn't make sense. Originally Posted by hjatb01

Actually, I do ask every lady if I can rub her back (then her feet, then her ass--and then to kiss her back, then her feet, then her asshole). I've sometimes carried things to the point of the lady's finally having to remind me that I'm approaching this whole thing backward: "We're almost out of time, honey. What would you like me to do for you?

Of course, I'll answer by telling her she can be the first to swallow my invariably huge load of cum; so I guess most people wouldn't consider my approach to be completely selfless.

Elisabeth...

There are some here who treat ladies with respect, and derive more enjoyment from mutual pleasure rather than being the sole focus of attention. It's not about " an orgasm contest" rather it's about pleasing and being pleased in the process.

This thread speaks volumes...

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=805029

TP

Well if I'm seeing you, its probably for something I want. Not to be rude, but it has to be mostly about me. Now if you want to share what works for you, I love sharing. I'd rather us both have a great time. If we both love it, I will probably be back. If only I love it, I might come back. If you hate the whole experience, its over for me too. I don't worry about her pleasure. I'm sure if she wants that she van coach me. You are a pro, right?