Why do you hobby? / rant

I guess this may be more of a rant than anything...but i guess last night i realized why i hobby. First off a little background...i am in my early 30's, divorced, and have been in an 'on again...off again' relationship for the past 3 years with a lovely girl in her late 20's. She is gorgous... a 8 or 9 on any mans scale. Latina, MM tits. Used to be a promo model. A great all around girl. As my sig states, we used to have PS sex every day...several times a day...all day long. I guess in any relationship that shit fades out. She has been wanting to get married for the longest, but i just cant bring myslef to do that again.

So last night...for whatever reason i have it in my head i should do something special and see what fun i can get out of it. I am off so i have dinner almost made by the time she gets off of work. A nice meal...bottle of wine. We eat, watch a movie, drink some more wine and i even clean up after cooking so she can relax. I ask if she would like to take a bath together...what woman doesnt like to take a bath with her man. I light some candles, put on some soft music and run the bubble bath. She gets in and she looks amazing in the candle light. She looked so great i actually thought to myself...why the fuck do i hobby...yes, this is the first time the hobby came to my mind that night. Then she gets in and complains the water is too hot and now she is starting to get pissy. Too hot??? it is almost a fact that women like the water a little hotter than men do. So i tried to help by gently putting some water on her body where she hasnt gottn in yet. That was a bad idea apparently. So i pulled the plug and ran some more water till it got cool enuf for her. Then i think to myself....ahhh...this is why i hobby.... i imagined that a nice provider might actualy have enjoyed the bath and not complained so much about it. So now im picturing girls i wish where in the tub with me. I try to make the best of it...i start to wash her. Things start to turn around and things are getting hot. She starts to ride my face a little and now im turned on again. So after the bath, we go to the shower and rinse off and off to the bed. Oh, and i had some clean towels in the dryer for her when she got out...always a nice touch. Again, went unappriciated.

Once in bed, i gently kiss her and feel her entire body. I move south as it has been a while since it was that time of the month not that long ago. She is just not into it. So she starts to suck me off and we are ready to go. She hops on for some CG...its both of our fav as she really knows how to move and almost always gets her O that way...my fav sound ever...i have never heard anything like it. So she trys for a bit to get it but cant seem to. She then tries to finish me off as she knows how to do oh so well...and i tell her not yet. I put in a lot of work that day and i wanted to have more fun. So i ask her to bend over and she just really isnt interested. Started thinking of a provider again and how they at least act like they like to be there. By this time, i am no longer into it. I hop up and go outside and have a cig....and btw, i have just recently quit for almost a month. Another night unsatisfied.

I might be a little younger than some of the older married guys here, but i was wondering...is this what its like with every married man? I know the sex dropped off with my first wife, and i stuck with this crazy ass girl cuz the sex was alway on point. Now im wondering why i bother. It has been 'on again off again' as i stated, but every time im single, i cant stand the girls i meet then either. I do very well for myself and 8's and 9's are not really a problem for me...but usualy nothing is there to keep me interested.

So in the end...im sure last night would have been much better with a provider...i just dont have the money, for the time it would take to get all them activities in, lol.

I am single for a reason too.. perhaps its better to not see her anymore and clear your head for a while.
then if you think you want a gf then find someone new, you need a fresh start.

I hobby because I am not marriage nor GF material at this time, and that part I know , I also do not want kids at this time nor am religious at all..
and not in love so I see no need to even bother..

I am going to wait until I am 50 then wait 5 more years for good measure..

[quote=bubbaJay;679112] I might be a little younger than some of the older married guys here, but i was wondering...is this what its like with every married man? I know the sex dropped off with my first wife, and i stuck with this crazy ass girl cuz the sex was alway on point. Now im wondering why i bother.

______________________________ ______________________________


Yep, sooner or later married sex gets to be as interesting as watching the 4th rerun of "Gunsmoke"


Wilson

Bubba,
It seems you went to a lot of work for a romantic evening. Bravo to you. However, sometimes we all have shitty days and may not be in the mood with our SO. Only she knows what the problem was but I wouldn't put to much into this episode.

I don't hobby because lack of sex at home, I hobby for the variety. Honestly, I think I'm addicted to the hobby. I've been seeing hookers since I was 17 years old. Of course back then it was a trailer out in the boondocks with a red porch light or taking a chance on the yellow pages.

One other thing. I have never heard that women like the water hotter than men. In my experience it is just the oppisite.

Good luck.

I hobby for the variety. I rarely see the same provider twice, unless we really click.

I haven't hobbied in a while. I did for a while because I currently have no time for a girl friend, but as I get closer to finishing up with my period of not having time for a girl, the more I'm wanting the things I can only get from having a longer relationship. It's been too long since I've laid around with a girl and not cared about the time. I'm really looking forward to that. Here's to women regardless. They're soft and they smell nice. Hell, I haven't even had time to hobby in the last few months. The next girl I'm with is going to be either really happy, really sore, or both.

The next girl I'm with is going to be either really happy, really sore, or both. Originally Posted by Takeshi Miike

That sentence made me chuckle as I have fellas who LOVE to see me xxxtremely horny & others who prefer to wait a few days so I don't fuck them to death. LOL

BubbaJay...

YOU ROCK! I would discount the hell out of a pampering session such as described. Being recently divorced myself (2 yrs), I find the dating scene quite dissatisfactory as I've always been in the role of nurturer and am known as a provider who takes charge. That's fun for me but lately, I fantasize about being "taken down" and shown what it's like to have a woman-hungry man nibble me for dinner piece by piece. mmmmhmmm *sigh*

Sounds like you may need to open a dialogue w/ the SO regarding whether or not her "need" for commitment is affecting her desire. Some women have that biological clock thing, ya' know?

Good luck regardless of your hobby status & Mike... go easy on your victim unless she's a feisty feline like me.

XOXOX
Kat

So last night...for whatever reason i have it in my head i should do something special and see what fun i can get out of it. I am off so i have dinner almost made by the time she gets off of work.... Originally Posted by bubbaJay

Bubba, you did good.

Just one thing to add. Did you tell her about it or was it a surprise? Some women like surprises sometimes, but most women like looking forward to something special.

Hang in there, Bubba.

Sex (hobby) =/= relationship.

Sex is simple.

Relationships can be complicated.

Need I go on? Everything in a relationship happens in context, including the sex. So while you were pampering her after 3 years together, she was maybe thinking "OK nice, but I'm not really in the mood, I just wanted to watch TV and there's no way he's doing all this and not wanting sex". Or maybe she's thinking "this guy is never going to marry me and he thinks I'm going to settle for a bath instead".

That's the risk of hobbying in my opinion. It is not real. You paid for a performance and if you think it is real you're going to start belieiving that every girl always wants it when you want it and finds you irresistible and charming and sexy every moment you are together. I'm not saying some providers aren't sincere and sometimes enjoy you, but when they are not in the mood, they won't let it show if they are doing their job well.

It's all fun, but don't lose your grasp on reality or you risk being unable to participate in a real relationship, which offers more than sex (you decide if it is enough once you balance the good with the bad/annoying).

Oh FWIW and considering this, don't ever ever ever (ever ever) get married for sex or because the sex is great and she is hot and therefore you assume that will always be the case. Don't. Not.

don't ever ever ever (ever ever) get married Originally Posted by irishlad

We have a winner!

+1 on Irishlad. LOL..

I have been married 4 times and the sex always drops off.

We all think this one is different. They are NOT Different. Older, younger, beautiful not so beautiful. They all have the same hormones and genetic wiring.

So this time when illness and the treatment of that illness destroyed my currents wife's libido. Instead of divorce and financial ruin or living with someone and growing resentments that would make life a living hell. I turned to ASPD(now ECCIE).

So even though I would rather have relations with someone I care about and cares about me I am content, my marriage is happy( if not physical) and I keep my asests.

Thanks Ladies!

I am going to wait until I am 50 then wait 5 more years for good measure.. Originally Posted by RALPHEY BOY

lol...but i have it in my head i can get a much more 'attractive' girl now. if i was to wait till i was 55 and retired..i might not have any hair. im not rich, so i rely on other things to get the interest. but it does not sound like a bad idea

[quote=WiLsOn;679334]

I might be a little younger than some of the older married guys here, but i was wondering...is this what its like with every married man? I know the sex dropped off with my first wife, and i stuck with this crazy ass girl cuz the sex was alway on point. Now im wondering why i bother.

______________________________ ______________________________


Yep, sooner or later married sex gets to be as interesting as watching the 4th rerun of "Gunsmoke"


Wilson Originally Posted by bubbaJay

i guess i should stop looking for the hottest girl that likes to fuck my brains out....and settle for an ugly chick i can just stand to be around the rest of my life. sounds depressing...

I haven't hobbied in a while. I did for a while because I currently have no time for a girl friend, but as I get closer to finishing up with my period of not having time for a girl, the more I'm wanting the things I can only get from having a longer relationship. It's been too long since I've laid around with a girl and not cared about the time. I'm really looking forward to that. Here's to women regardless. They're soft and they smell nice. Hell, I haven't even had time to hobby in the last few months. The next girl I'm with is going to be either really happy, really sore, or both. Originally Posted by Takeshi Miike

hopefully both!

Bubba, you did good.

Just one thing to add. Did you tell her about it or was it a surprise? Some women like surprises sometimes, but most women like looking forward to something special.

Hang in there, Bubba. Originally Posted by johnnytx39

it was a surprise.

i thougth id try somthing nice again today...since our last break up we now live in two separate houses. i have been spending most of my time at her place now. her house was a complete mess and i cleaned the hell out of it today since i had the day off. she came home for a late lunch. she was shocked and started stripping her clothes off the second she walked in the door. it was worth it