OMG I about died with laughter! I can't even imagine what experience happened to the inventor to decide this product was needed. "Hi Folks, how many times have you been with a lady and taken a trip south, only to find some critters running around and a couple of oozing wounds. Normally that would give one pause, but worry no more because with Scro-Guard you don't need to miss a beat! And when you're done just soak it in Clorox for a week and you're good to go!"