Guilt

Does anyone else feel guilty when screwing a married man? A wife found out about what had happened, and she was torn up. I know we provide a service, but my conscience bothers me, especially when kids are involved.

the husband is missing the sexual connection to a women or even the attention. he might love his marriage in every other way except that his wife fails to satisfy him in bed or doesn't give him enough attention/love/ makes him feel special. that's where you come in to fill in that gap.

how did she find out to begin with? the whole point of using escorts vs. going on dating sites or bars is to keep things a secret in the first place so that the women doesn't rat you out when she finds out you are married!

I would say that if he is seeing providers that you shouldn't feel guilty because it is his choice. If he didn't see providers, or sleep with anybody but his wife and you seduced him, then maybe.

For me, if I am in a committed relationship, I will not sleep with anybody else even if I am not getting any at home. Except for providers, I also won't sleep with someone that is in a committed relationship because I wouldn't want to be the one that broke it up.

If you feel guilty for all the bad things that happen in this world, you aren't going to have time for anything else...

Think of it this way: if you were outed to your family or SO, would you feel like everyone you had seen should feel guilty? As if they had personally wronged your family or partner? Or would you feel that you were doing something that you chose because it made you happy in some way or another, and now these are consequences that you were aware of and made your choice anyways? Kinda like the guy who bums a cigarette and burns his house down with it, you were just a teeny, tiny piece of that puzzle.

This life is only what WE make it. We are the ones who choose how we look at things, and we are the ones who choose how we handle and later feel about them. I'm not saying that it's not good that you are empathetic. That is a wonderful, wonderful thing that honestly, I wish more people were able to express. However, just because you can feel for them doesn't mean you are responsible for them.

I have had this happen before, and it is sad. Just on a human level, you never want to see someone hurting. But, it is not your fault. He made choices in such a way that if not you, someone else. And while you can certainly care for him enough to recognize his plight, even worry about him as a friend and not a paycheck, you do have to put it in perspective... He has a lot more going on that led to, caused, and will finish this situation for him than you could ever take responsibility for. So don't. ((Hugs))

This is not a guilty business but a satisfying one. What one does outside the pure marriage bed is up to those parties that committed. Him or her stepping out has nothing to do with a provider

And if you think everyone is single because they say so then you are being blinded but the sport

Does anyone else feel guilty when screwing a married man? A wife found out about what had happened, and she was torn up. I know we provide a service, but my conscience bothers me, especially when kids are involved. Originally Posted by BrokenWings73

Then don't do it.

No, I don't feel guilty.

It is true that some of the married men we see are just straight up horn dogs who see providers even though they have an active and satisfying sex life at home. No denying that, but those men are not the norm. I believe the majority of married hobbyists would much prefer to have a satisfying sexual connection with their wives, but for some reason that simply isn't happening. This is where we come in.

I can't count how many times a man has said to me that he loves his wife, she is his best friend and companion - but their sex life is simply gone.

I think of myself as a marital supplement. I take a variety of dietary supplements every day. These supplements aren't meant to sustain me, but they do act to fill in the nutritional gaps in my daily diet. Between the foods that I eat, and the supplements I take, I stay healthy. Similarly, a provider isn't intended to replace the marital relationship, but seeing a provider can help to fill in the gaps of what is missing - intimacy, sexual fulfillment, emotional needs etc, which can help to keep the overall relationship healthy. This is why I firmly believe that providers have saved far more marriages than have been destroyed.

Maybe I"m just good at rationalizing, but my perspective works for me.

To the OP. You almost sound like the guy is going to leave his wife and kids for you. If you gave him that illusion then YES you should feel guilty. You need to remember that your providing a service and that emotion shouldn't play into what you do or you might need to find a new line of work.

Providing is a service, a very personal service, but a service nonetheless. No one was forced to choose me to be their provider. I try to keep things friendly and uncomplicated as possible.

I do not wish anyone to leave their situation to be with me. If someone did that's my fault for not learning to draw boundaries when needed.

If some guy was sloppy and he exposed his relationship with me causing the family harm? That's on him.

No, I don't feel guilty.

It is true that some of the married men we see are just straight up horn dogs who see providers even though they have an active and satisfying sex life at home. No denying that, but those men are not the norm. I believe the majority of married hobbyists would much prefer to have a satisfying sexual connection with their wives, but for some reason that simply isn't happening. This is where we come in.

I can't count how many times a man has said to me that he loves his wife, she is his best friend and companion - but their sex life is simply gone.

I think of myself as a marital supplement. I take a variety of dietary supplements every day. These supplements aren't meant to sustain me, but they do act to fill in the nutritional gaps in my daily diet. Between the foods that I eat, and the supplements I take, I stay healthy. Similarly, a provider isn't intended to replace the marital relationship, but seeing a provider can help to fill in the gaps of what is missing - intimacy, sexual fulfillment, emotional needs etc, which can help to keep the overall relationship healthy. This is why I firmly believe that providers have saved far more marriages than have been destroyed.

Maybe I"m just good at rationalizing, but my perspective works for me. Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

Very well said, sins.

^^^^^I second that^^^^^ its not as if you personally led these men astray. They went looking for it, so if not you, it certainly would have been another provider and the wife would have been upset regardless. Try to lighten up on yourself and realize it isn't your job to be anyone's moral compass but your own. Focus on being the best you can be and enjoy what you do. Let everyone else worry about what goes on in their own world as a result of their own decisions.

^^^^^I second that^^^^^ its not as if you personally led these men astray. They went looking for it, so if not you, it certainly would have been another provider and the wife would have been upset regardless. Try to lighten up on yourself and realize it isn't your job to be anyone's moral compass but your own. Focus on being the best you can be and enjoy what you do. Let everyone else worry about what goes on in their own world as a result of their own decisions. Originally Posted by VegasJen

Good point. Thank God I don't have to be anyone else's moral compass. I'd be swinging around worse than Jack Sparrow's compass

the husband is missing the sexual connection to a women or even the attention. he might love his marriage in every other way except that his wife fails to satisfy him in bed or doesn't give him enough attention/love/ makes him feel special. that's where you come in to fill in that gap.

how did she find out to begin with? the whole point of using escorts vs. going on dating sites or bars is to keep things a secret in the first place so that the women doesn't rat you out when she finds out you are married! Originally Posted by joesmo888

Joe, you failed to ponder the possibility that the guy's a cad who'd step out on his wife with anyone just because he can.
They do exist. Not every man in this hobby is here because he ain't gettin' any at home.

I tell all the providers I'm leaving my wife for them. Wait I don't have a wife. Ok I tell them I'm leaving my girlfriend. Shit!!! don't have one of those either. Married 22 faithful years. Girlfriend 3 faithful years. Fuck I'm done with that. Bring em on.