What's the funniest thing that's ever happened to you on a date?

I had something really funny happen the other day, so now I'm curious to know!

I had a date last night and while I was getting ready to leave I grabbed my garter belt from the floor to put in my bag. I got it out today...and realized I accidentally picked up a pair of men's underwear as well.

It's possible the guy now thinks I'm a boxer brief thief!! It was just too good not to share!

I suppose mine would be when I did an outcall one day and the gentleman had literally just gotten out of the shower and answered the door naked as a jay bird lol!

Showed up for my first appointment with a new provider, was told to meet her at the side door of her hotel. Her showcase does not show her face so all I knew to look for was body type and hair color.

I show up right on time and park. I can see inside the glass and there is a female inside the side door talking on her phone. She matches the general description of my date...I'm kinda disappointed at this point but I'm already here so what the hell. I step inside, make eye contact, say hi, and she completely blows me off. I stand there for a second (not in her space, standing off to the side) and she looks at me and says "if you're looking for the lobby, it's that way." Now I'm thinking, wtf is going on here.

Then right as that happens a dude comes in the side door with food from Taco Bell. And they go up the stairs together. So, confused, I walk back outside and get out my phone to check it...and seconds later a MUCH better looking girl comes out the door and says "RJ?"

I was SO glad in hindsight that the girl was on the phone. I might have said something super super awkward. :| - And of course glad that I met the right girl, who I will see many more times!

2002-24yrs old My 2nd ever paid date..meet this 30something yr old nice body, real suave(he thought) and a few beers in him..turns out he had a big dick and could fuck..so win for me..until we are done..he bangs me pretty good and Im dressing to leave and swear to god he looks me in the face, extends his hand holding his boxers and says:

here anytime a girl enjoys herself with me i want to give her something to remember me by..I could tell you liked what I was doing..

Baffled I leave my senses and take the damn underwear..driving home all i kept thinking was..why the fuck do i have his underwear..this bastard gave me his underwear....he saw me everytime he was in town after that!! I was afraid i was gonna have enough mens boxers to feel a chest!(he didn't give them anymore..and Im pretty sure he didn't remember doing it)

only other funny thing was a guy requested stripper heels, wanted me to walk in the hotel in them..i said i suck at this..he said its ok just try.. appt was at 9pm..at 9:20 he calls me and says "are you coming" I said i'm down in the lobby i twisted my ankle walking in and they are helping me right now lmao..I limped to his room and we proceeded haha

Something funny happened to me tonight with a client I've been teasing for a while. But I'm not sure I'm suppose to say much about it. I'll just say make sure you turn your phone off when you cross into my room lol

Not really a date story, but I was enjoying a private dance in a gentleman's club when the young lady I was with got her foot somehow stuck in the couch I was reclining back on. She fell on me with her boobs smashed against my face and I had to catch her before she flipped backwards off the couch and into the floor. She was really embarrassed, but I thought it was funny. The security guy came around the corner because of the noise and we were both laughing. He just gave a WTF look, didn't say anything, and left again.

Not really a date story, but I was enjoying a private dance in a gentleman's club when the young lady I was with got her foot somehow stuck in the couch I was reclining back on. She fell on me with her boobs smashed against my face and I had to catch her before she flipped backwards off the couch and into the floor. She was really embarrassed, but I thought it was funny. The security guy came around the corner because of the noise and we were both laughing. He just gave a WTF look, didn't say anything, and left again. Originally Posted by willro

At least he came after you got her boobs removed from your face lol

Nothing like having the maid come knocking on the door while we are both naked. My client nearly wet himself lol. I told him it was just the maid, then proceeded to yell "I don't need anything, thanks!" She left. The rest of the date was filled with me trying to calm him down. At the end we laughed it off and he tipped me for handling my cool lol

First time I saw Ginger. I was brand spanking new and nervous as hell. In the middle of things there comes a pounding on the door. Not a knock, loud insistent pounding. I'm thinking LE for sure. I jump up naked and start running around looking for God knows what - I guess the back door to escape out of. There was no back door. She calmly walks to the only door and - not so calmly - tells the maid she doesn't need anything. Then walks back to the bed laughing her ass off at me. I haven't topped that one for funny yet - funny after the fact, not so much in the moment. It was a damn miracle I could function after that.

First time I saw Ginger. I was brand spanking new and nervous as hell. In the middle of things there comes a pounding on the door. Not a knock, loud insistent pounding. I'm thinking LE for sure. I jump up naked and start running around looking for God knows what - I guess the back door to escape out of. There was no back door. She calmly walks to the only door and - not so calmly - tells the maid she doesn't need anything. Then walks back to the bed laughing her ass off at me. I haven't topped that one for funny yet - funny after the fact, not so much in the moment. It was a damn miracle I could function after that. Originally Posted by watchoutthegameisrigged

The best part was when you tried to escape through the bathroom. That "all drains lead to the ocean" thing only works for Nemo. Lol

I've since learned that maids tend to become overly aggressive when you tip them well.

It was the only door I saw - and at the moment was my only option.

Had an incredibly beautiful angel doing an amazing oral. As any of you that have seen me know I love oral both giving and receiving. She was was working me over and I was into the moment. I was encouraging her and she was very vocal in the midst of pleasuring me. I'm flat of my back and she climbs up for me to return some pleasure to her. She is very vocal at this point and almost loud which was turning me on even more making me so into the moment. All of a sudden, I have this excruciating attack on my boys! Evidently her toy poodle didn't appreciate me appreciating her master and nipped the boys! Needless to say, on return visits that not so cute companion was in it's dog purse!

I'm dying from these. Exactly what I needed this morning! These stories are great.

I saw a girl and I dont wanna put her out there like that cause im scared but durin the date i heard a few sneezez from the closet an when i asked bout it her pimp jumped out an held me at gunpoint

I've got a funny story not about me, but about a friend I used to work with. Bear with me, there is a provider at the end...
We worked graveyard, at different ends of the week. I was working, and me and the guy I was working with ran into a problem we couldn't fix. It was not unusual for us to reach out to the other two who worked the other end of the week for suggestions in the rare situation this happened, so we paged both of them (yes, it was the 90's). One of them responded, but my friend didn't. The next time I saw him I asked him about it, and this is what he said...
When you texted me, I had my pager on vibrate because I was at a club. I was in the middle of a lap dance, the girl on my lap, when it went off. She stopped and asked me,
Did you just cum?