Us vs. Them

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm disheartened by how adversarial things have been getting between clients and providers lately. I mean, it's always been there since I've been around, with certain people on both sides of the fence. But it seems like there's been a sharp uptick recently and I'm not really sure why but I know I don't like it.

I've always wanted to be friendly with the ladies. Not like an opponent. I am hearing about a lot of guys NCNS / cancelling on short notice when providers have already booked a room. Also about providers not showing up and not handling their business.

Providers want deposits to make sure they aren't getting a room for nothing and eating the costs, and aren't blocking time that could be booked with someone else for someone who will cancel. Clients don't want to pay deposits and feel like providers are being unreasonable in requiring them. And so resentment builds on both sides. I'm not saying either side is right or wrong. Just that it's sad to see it devolve into this. Deposits and no shows aren't the only dynamics at work but they do seem like flash points.

Screening seems to be another flash point. Providers need it to feel safe from LE, from getting robbed, beaten up, and who knows what else. Guys worry something nefarious will be done with their info or it will fall into the wrong hands and used to blackmail them. Most providers would never dream of doing anything like that and are offended that clients would think they might. I sympathize with both sides of this.

A few bad apples spoil the bunch for us all. I wish we all could be honorable and do the right thing, clients and providers alike. I'm not a religious person but "The Golden Rule" has always seemed to me to be a great idea, religious or not.

I'm interested to hear others' thoughts. Do you perceive this in the same way? Ideas for fixing it? I'm hoping we can have a thoughtful, candid dialogue without finger pointing or defensiveness.

In case it is not obvious, this is not aimed at any person, just a general observation.

I can't help but wonder about all the NCNS I have heard about recently. Maybe some are pimps doing it, but doesn't seem like enough pimps exist to account for much of it. And they would quickly be discovered and talked about.
It bothers me a great deal to hear about a guy letting a lady rent a room, and then not keeping his commitment. It is not funny to cause financial loss to someone who trusted you!!
I hope I have been here long enough for ladies to realize that I am not a part such schemes.
Once, I got near the motel, only to have my starter quit. It was pouring and I got drenched, but I walked the rest of the way even though I got soaked and was a few minutes late. Fortunately, the car started after the date!
Once I have committed, it would take a REAL emergency for me not to show up, like an accident or a death. You will never find me making up BS excuses.
I remember one instance in NWA where a guy made an appointment, then called from the parking lot, but would never come to the room. The lady got so scared she ran to her car and got out of there. These ladies are providing an important service. If you don't need that service, then find yourself another source of amusement!!

I feel if we are reasonably firm with how we conduct business, all would have no choice but to respect and play the game...
Everybody wins!!
I am very adamant on the text/call hour before scheduled play dates. I ask that all gentleman text, call, or email me an hour before we meet, to confirm that he is able to make it.
This hour before hand gives me time to book and stage the room.
In all my years in the hobby, I have never had a problem with getting room reimbursement for playmates not being able to make it even after the "confirmation hour"... (This has only happened once...I might add)

I'm winning... What about you?!

I feel if we are reasonably firm with how we conduct business, all would have no choice but to respect and play the game...
Everybody wins!!
I am very adamant on the text/call hour before scheduled play dates. I ask that all gentleman text, call, or email me an hour before we meet, to confirm that he is able to make it.
This hour before hand gives me time to book and stage the room.
In all my years in the hobby, I have never had a problem with getting room reimbursement for playmates not being able to make it even after the "confirmation hour"... (This has only happened once...I might add)

I'm winning... What about you?! Originally Posted by Zenovia

Oh you are absolutely a model for doing it the right way! All the time we've known each other and never a single problem! Not to take anything away from other ladies that are doing it the right way. I think most of them do. I agree, "everybody wins" is the ideal outcome!

I agree, "everybody wins" is the ideal outcome! Originally Posted by SpankyJ

Some good points, and this is a subject that needs more discussion in public forums. When we see ladies post things like 'a guy should pay what we ask and not question it' or women that insist on RL info (copy of I.D. - proof of employment - real phone number) it reminds me just how much 'business' is involved in this 'hobby' of ours.

In business you have no-shows from time to time. Sometimes the provider does their job but the customer is not happy. In many areas this business can be seasonal, in others not so much. Anyone running a business faces many of these same issues, as we can't control all of the elements from either side.

What I try to remember is that those who provide the $$$ have just as much say how business gets done as those who provide the service. When the guys just fall in line and do what they are told, we give up our power. You can be professional, and polite, and respectful when you contact a lady and choose not to give RL info during screening, pay $200 for a half hour of fun, or provide a deposit before a session.

You hit everything right on the head!

I stopped seeing newbies two years ago because they did not want to give up any real information about themselves. I understand you want privacy but when you are new to the hobby, you have to start somewhere. Now I only see gentleman with reputable references. Sucks but I was tired of the going back and forth explaining why.

I haven’t had many experiences with being stuck with a room but I had a couple. Since I only see a guy a day, if someone cancels I’m stuck with a room. So now, first date with me , I will not go get the room till we are both in the hotel parking lot. I hate doing that but I’m not risking loosing money again. A guy canceled on me when I said I was in the room and I was like “wtf really?” Confirmed the morning and hour before to come up with a bs excuse.

Some guys will willingly send me room fare thru CashApp without being asked and those are the ones I appreciate a lot, I know they won’t cancel.

So far the way I have been operating has been doing me well just would be nice if everyone just stuck to their word or cancel in advanced.

You hit everything right on the head!

I stopped seeing newbies two years ago because they did not want to give up any real information about themselves. I understand you want privacy but when you are new to the hobby, you have to start somewhere. Now I only see gentleman with reputable references. Sucks but I was tired of the going back and forth explaining why.

I haven’t had many experiences with being stuck with a room but I had a couple. Since I only see a guy a day, if someone cancels I’m stuck with a room. So now, first date with me , I will not go get the room till we are both in the hotel parking lot. I hate doing that but I’m not risking loosing money again. A guy canceled on me when I said I was in the room and I was like “wtf really?” Confirmed the morning and hour before to come up with a bs excuse.

Some guys will willingly send me room fare thru CashApp without being asked and those are the ones I appreciate a lot, I know they won’t cancel.

So far the way I have been operating has been doing me well just would be nice if everyone just stuck to their word or cancel in advanced. Originally Posted by SweetlyBlended80

Absolutely. Simply doing what you say you are going to do and having consideration for others if you can’t do that for some reason prevents a world of problems, whether one is a client or provider.

I agree with all of your points Spanky and I agree we would all be better off if the Golden Rule was practiced by everyone. Unfortunately that is not the case but we could all avoid a lot of these problems by just having some freaking common courtesy. Do what you say you are going to do and if something unavoidable happens on either side just make it right! It is not always easy but it is simple.

Ya nailed it Spanky!

Can we all just play nice and get along? We’re all grown ass folk here. See who you want to see and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Be respectful, Show up on time, wash your nuts and butthole, donate the rate as advertised, get dicked down by a pro, leave a happy man or woman. Don’t NCNS a lady cause that’s fucked up. No one likes it when an employee NCNS work right? Read their website or showcases. Don’t waste their time with stupid bull shit and just book when ready.

This is supposed to be fun!

Ya nailed it Spanky!

Can we all just play nice and get along? We’re all grown ass folk here. See who you want to see and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Be respectful, Show up on time, wash your nuts and butthole, donate the rate as advertised, get dicked down by a pro, leave a happy man or woman. Don’t NCNS a lady cause that’s fucked up. No one likes it when an employee NCNS work right? Read their website or showcases. Don’t waste their time with stupid bull shit and just book when ready.

This is supposed to be fun! Originally Posted by Parttimehobbyist

BINGO!
And don't forget to brush and floss and wash behind your ears.

And ladies...please don’t NCNS. It really sucks ass. If someone was interviewing for a job and the applicant doesn’t show up, it’s rude and disrespectful. I could have interviewed someone else on that time slot and they could have been a better candidate. I know shit happens, but it literally takes 10 seconds to send a text saying you can’t make it.

Anyhoo, happy fuckin y’all!

I agree totally with everything. I can only hope that my reputation precedes me. I hope to just be that fun loving next door girl that you always need and never someone you don't. I can understand from a man's perspective the all together uneasiness and vulnerability as well as the excitement of newness is. One the other hand when asking for incalls not everyone hobbys out of a residence and do have overheads. Now all things the same everything is a risk it doesn't give anyone the permission to punish others for your choices. Now how you practice business is your choice, but you cannot complain about your stream of flow if you are the cause of the breach.
I am a firm believer of taking pride in all that you do in life. I do live by this. I understand many don't and alot of people are still learning as we are evolving on this industry.

Spanky thanks for the thread, folks you have covered all the bases, trouble on both sides. I have no problem with a deposit as its much easier for the lady to get a safe room. Hell or high water will not stop me from making an appointment, I don't do extensive research to set something up just to flake out. I have no problem with any situation that arise, just let me know. I respect the providers time and don't like to blow them up, just a short Good Morning on the day of is enough to reassure the client. All my options are at least an hour and a half drive so keep in touch last minute scrambling is bad for everyone.