Seeking guidance.

So, I'm new to this site, but not nearly life, and was a very regular lurker to the other site when it went bye-bye before I registered . The problem is I've tried to schedule time with a couple of the local tasty treats but I got little to no response. I PM'd one lady letting her know I would like to meet Friday and have only 1 reference that I have seen twice ( reference is an ECCIE/ASPD member with reviews). She stated that she would understandably need to verify my reference. Sent the info to her and I got no response. This was on a Monday. Waited until Thursday and PM'd her again and got no response again. On friday, I PM'd her again asking if there was a problem with my reference or even me since I am new to the site so that I could correct what might be wrong. No response again. Not wanting to appear to be a stalker I moved on. I texted another local sweetie per her instructions on her ECCIE showcase. Sent her the same info and what I was looking for. Granted , it was short notice but her showcase said she only needed an hour notice. No response. I know this post/request is lengthy, and I don't want to sound like I'm bitching because I'm not, I just wanted to get all the facts out there for you "old salts" so that any of you that would be so kind could point out where I may be going wrong. Thanks for any advice.

1 reference should be ok for some of the ladies here, ofcourse two or more is better. You noted "Sent her the same info and what I was looking for", mayb e you were too graphic describing what you were looking for, and her spidey sense went off. If this could be the case maybe you would just want to advise that you are looking for 30min/60min GFE/PSE/FBSM.. whatever applies and not go into much detail in the e-mail.

my 2 cents

LF

first off man, welcome! my best advice would be to see a provider that advertises that she is newbie friendly. see two of them and make sure they are on P411. they can then vouch for you and u can be on P411 without giving out personal information for free for 6 months. at that point, u should be able to see anyone u want

I don't think your bitching just a victim of ladies with no TCB skills..It only takes 2 seconds to give an answer even if its no...

I don't think your bitching just a victim of ladies with no TCB skills..It only takes 2 seconds to give an answer even if its no... Originally Posted by VictoriaLyn

Ah Vikki, you are refreshing. Thank you for the "no BS response!

I think your conclusion is probably correct.

And Nick, welcome to Eccie, and based on your post, welcome to Austin.

Nick,

Thanks for the post, good question. Sixxback gave some good advice.

IMO, you did the right thing in case #1, simply move on... you sent the info and heard nothing back... could be lack of TCB, could be she didn't want to see you, could be she couldn't see you... too many things to consider... if you send the info and hear nothing back... move on, no regrets, no harm, no foul.

In the second scenario, here is where you may have blundered. While a lady says she "only needs one hour notice" that does not imply she will see a guy without screening. IMO, it NEVER pays to see a lady on a first date on a short notice. You need to consider giving them as much time as they need/want to vet your references and feel comfortable about your first meeting.

Please keep in mind, it may not have been her failing... your reference(s) may have not been immediately available to validate you. Believe it or not, some of the ladies have had guys contact them claiming to be "so and so" and having seen "provider xxx", when in fact, they are lying. This causes the lady to be more cautious in checking vouches on new clients.

Most ladies I have the pleasure of knowing genuinely want your business, but they also do not want to feel pressured or rushed through the vouching system.

If you still want to see Lady #2, my recommendation is send a note to her, explain that in hindsight, you probably didn't give her enough time to check your references and see is she is willing to see you on xxxday (give her a couple of days notice). Once she has had a chance to check your references and you have had a session, you will be back in the saddle, man.

If you don't want to see the second lady, then pick the next Austin Adorable on your list, send her a PM or email, introduce yourself, tell her why you picked her, send her the requested vouch information and tell her you would like to see her as soon as you clear and your schedules can match up.

Hang in there man, it will work out.

Respectfully submitted,

OldSarge

Thanks to all for the good advice and for not ripping on the newbie. I'm sure in time ( hopefully not long ) I'll get in the groove. Thanks again.

While a lady says she "only needs one hour notice" that does not imply she will see a guy without screening. IMO, it NEVER pays to see a lady on a first date on a short notice. You need to consider giving them as much time as they need/want to vet your references and feel comfortable about your first meeting.

Please keep in mind, it may not have been her failing... your reference(s) may have not been immediately available to validate you. Believe it or not, some of the ladies have had guys contact them claiming to be "so and so" and having seen "provider xxx", when in fact, they are lying. This causes the lady to be more cautious in checking vouches on new clients.

Most ladies I have the pleasure of knowing genuinely want your business, but they also do not want to feel pressured or rushed through the vouching system. Originally Posted by OldSarge

BINGO! Thanks Sarge!
"only needs one hours notice" also means IF she's not already scheduled. I get short notice requests that come in at times I'm already engaged and by the time I can answer the call, the time window has passed. Of course I do contact the requester and ask he try again when more notice can be given.

I don't offer "last minute" (Hey, can I see you in an hour?) appts. to gentlemen I haven't already met. My regular's hell yes!

Screening is something most of us take very seriously and won't be rushed or pressured through. The risks just aren't worth it!

So, listen to Sarge and Sixx and you'll be writing reviews in no time! And, welcome to the neighborhood!
Tess

Nick,

Thanks for the post, good question. Sixxback gave some good advice.

IMO, you did the right thing in case #1, simply move on... you sent the info and heard nothing back... could be lack of TCB, could be she didn't want to see you, could be she couldn't see you... too many things to consider... if you send the info and hear nothing back... move on, no regrets, no harm, no foul. Originally Posted by OldSarge

Nick, first welcome and good luck. I also agree with the advice from Old Sarge, Sixx, and Tess. They are all giving great advice and particularily the advice from Tess regarding timing. Sometimes the timing just doesn't work for a number of reasons. Life does happen!!

I do, however, disagree with the last line in the above quote. If we think about it most of the "entertaining" threads seem to center around a given individual felling like they did not get the proper respect from others in a given situation. I know that we can't make everyone practice the "golden rule" and even when we try as individuals to practice it, we often fall short. That being said, I do not think that it is ok to just not reply or respond to a prospective "business" inquiry and I feel that when we characterize that as "no harm, no foul" we legitimize that type of behavior. As stated earlier, sometimes the timing is off, but he had indicated that he had PM'd the lady and it is never too late to send a PM, even if it is to tell someone that you are not interested and to go to hell! At least then they have the ability to ask for directions! Call it poor TCB or whatever, I don't think it is ever OK to just not answer a request or message. I am also pretty sure that Old Sarge meant "no harm, no foul" on Nickjaguar's part and not anyone else's.
Ok, now can everyone tell I don't feel well today and just wanted to rant!!

Yep, and by the same token, if after a short interval, you don't hear back from a provider in a "reasonable time frame" (whatever that may be) don't feel guilty if you move on, contact someone else, and they give you a green light.
Go for it. Everyone has things to attend to, so no harm, no foul is also the case if, after you've made a commitment to another choice, you finally hear back from the original, saying she's available. Just let her know you didn't have the luxury of waiting for her answer too long, and made other plans.
That will let the remind the first one that you have choices, as does she, and perhaps next time you contact her (since she WAS your first choice) she'll be more expeditious in her response.
Just don't burn any bridges ........