- DallasRain
- 02-25-2022, 02:45 PM
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
__________________
- CatMan4u
- 02-25-2022, 02:55 PM
Dallas that was great and
so very true
so very true
- Baconman
- 02-25-2022, 02:59 PM
#3 is a struggle
- DallasRain
- 02-25-2022, 03:08 PM
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."ť
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."ť
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."ť
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
- tuckahoe
- 02-25-2022, 03:59 PM
A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call asap, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor.
On seeing him, the father yelled, “Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”
The doctor smiled and said, “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital and I came as fast as I could after receiving the call and now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”.
“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies while waiting for the doctor than what will you do??” said the father angrily. The doctor smiled again and replied, “We will do our best by God’s grace and you should also pray for your son’s healthy life”.
“Giving advice when we’re not concerned is so easy” Murmured the father.
The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, “Thank goodness! your son is saved!” And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running by saying, “If you have any questions, ask the nurse”.
“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left. The nurse answered, tears coming down her face, “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was at the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”
Moral: Never judge anyone because you never know how their life is and what they’re going through.
On seeing him, the father yelled, “Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”
The doctor smiled and said, “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital and I came as fast as I could after receiving the call and now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”.
“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies while waiting for the doctor than what will you do??” said the father angrily. The doctor smiled again and replied, “We will do our best by God’s grace and you should also pray for your son’s healthy life”.
“Giving advice when we’re not concerned is so easy” Murmured the father.
The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, “Thank goodness! your son is saved!” And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running by saying, “If you have any questions, ask the nurse”.
“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left. The nurse answered, tears coming down her face, “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was at the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”
Moral: Never judge anyone because you never know how their life is and what they’re going through.
- DallasRain
- 02-25-2022, 07:18 PM
love it!!!!
- Linkpie
- 03-07-2022, 10:07 AM
Oh DallasRain I'd love to meet you, if not for a session than just out of curiosity if you're an equally amazing person irl as you are on the boards!
- coolview
- 03-07-2022, 10:25 AM
An old man and women pull into a gas station.
A young gas attendant walks up and asks
“How y’all doing?”
The old woman goes “Huh? What? What did he say?”
The old mans goes “He ask how we were doing, we’re
doing fine, sonny…fill er up!”
The young man starts pumping gas and cleaning the
windshield and says, “Where you folks from?”
The old woman goes “Huh? What? What did he say?”
The old man goes “He asked us where we were from…
We’re from Kansas City, sonny!”
The young guy realizes the old woman is almost deaf and decides to
have a little fun.
"Kansas City huh? Worst fuck I ever had was in Kansas City!!!”
The old woman goes “Huh? What? What did he say?”
The old man goes “He says he knows you!!”
Ba-Dum-Tss!
A young gas attendant walks up and asks
“How y’all doing?”
The old woman goes “Huh? What? What did he say?”
The old mans goes “He ask how we were doing, we’re
doing fine, sonny…fill er up!”
The young man starts pumping gas and cleaning the
windshield and says, “Where you folks from?”
The old woman goes “Huh? What? What did he say?”
The old man goes “He asked us where we were from…
We’re from Kansas City, sonny!”
The young guy realizes the old woman is almost deaf and decides to
have a little fun.
"Kansas City huh? Worst fuck I ever had was in Kansas City!!!”
The old woman goes “Huh? What? What did he say?”
The old man goes “He says he knows you!!”
Ba-Dum-Tss!
- Precious_b
- 03-07-2022, 06:47 PM
And back to the pooh tales.
Maybe DR can come up with a moral.
Bear and rabbit were walking in the woods.
Bear looked over at rabbit and asked "Rabbit, you ever have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"
"No. Not at all." rabbit replied.
Bear promptly picks up rabbit and wipes bear's ass.
Maybe DR can come up with a moral.
Bear and rabbit were walking in the woods.
Bear looked over at rabbit and asked "Rabbit, you ever have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"
"No. Not at all." rabbit replied.
Bear promptly picks up rabbit and wipes bear's ass.