dirty Christmas jokes

Why does Santa always have a full sack?
Because he only comes once a year!

What do female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh?
They go into town and blow a few bucks.

Why doesn't Mrs. Clause get pregnant?
Because Santa only comes down chimneys!

What do you call a penis wearing a Santa hat?
Jolly Old Saint Dick

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.


happy ho-ho-holidays, friends (and fiends)!

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Why is Christmas like an orgasm?
The closer it gets, the louder everyone gets about it.
.
Why is Santa so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
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If You Don't have A Chimney I'm coming In Your backdoor.

How did Santa know that he caught an STD? His yule log was burning.

What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride? A Holly Davidson!

What do you call a bukaki in December? White Christmas.

1. Why does Mrs. Claus always pray for a white Christmas? She’s married to a guy who only comes once a year.

2. How does Santa stay STD-free? He wraps his package before going down the chimney.

3. What’s Santa’s pick-up line? “I’m jolly and I’ve got a full sack.”

4. Why does Santa’s crotch make noise when he walks? Because he has jingle balls.

5. What do you call a penis wearing a Santa hat? Jolly Old Saint Dick.

6. Why does Santa always land on your roof? Because he likes it on top.

7. What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney? “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”

8. Why doesn’t Santa like to tell jokes? Too many kisses under the mistletoe.

9. Why is Christmas like an orgasm? The closer it gets, the louder everyone gets about it.

10. Why did Santa’s belt get tighter after Christmas? Too many ho-ho-ho-lidays.

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