Engaged Hobbyist - His fiance found out!

Hello all,

I recently had a very unfortunate situation which has only convinced me that providing is not worth the time, stress, or money when it involves irresponsible and hurtful hobbyists. I absolutely love the hobby, because, as a single woman, I love to enjoy the company of a man.

This hobby has introduced me to married men, most of whom, are honest about their martial situation and have made a personal vow to keep our dates very discreet and secret. Of course, one or two hours of my time will never compensate 10, 20, 30 years that they have shared with their wives - so we have to make the best of it, we live in a fantasy for only an hour.

But for the first time ever, I had the experience becoming infatuated with a presumed (Single) man who, in reality, was to be engaged to his finance (who is now a very good friend of mine).

I will not illustrate how I met my hobbyist's fiance, but my heart sank when she showed me the number of the "so-called" practically married man. That number matched the number in my hobby phone. The finance had no clue that he was seeing a "provider" let alone a normal woman. I was so happy about a single man that I had been seeing on a regular basis, I could not help to tell this woman what his name and occupation was. I came to the finance, and the finance was never "looking for me" - It just happened.

The hobbyist and his finance are no longer together, but because of one person's lies, irresponsibility, and lack of respect, a marriage is ruined, a heart is broken, and I am eternally embarrassed and shameful. While this hobbyist was with his finance, he told her that he was faithful. While he was with me, he told me he was single! I would've had more respect for him if he told me the truth on his end!

HOBBYISTS, IF YOU HAVE A HAPPY HOME, PLEASE DONT RUIN IT OVER BS!
Remember, a dog never shits where it eats!

Providers, did your hobbyist's wife, finance, of GF ever find out about you? And how did you go about this?

Married hobbyists, are you always truthful to your providers? How do you go about hobbying if you are married!

Please, keep this thread to meaningful and thought provoking discussion!

I thought providers were to shut the fuck up about who their customers are. But your openly talking to a stranger about your customer but in a strange twist of fate you were talking to his fiance. What am I missing...

Please tell me this didn't happen? Your customer tells you he is single. You fall for him then find out he has a fiance. Your hurt. Your pissed. You out your customer.

And why are you keeping phone numbers in your phone?

The way I read it he claimed to be unattached, they started going out, she was talking about her date at the time, no longer her client.

If that's the case he is the slime for misrepresenting himself as available for a dating arrangement when all he was trying to do was get free sessions.

Of course I could be interpreting incorrectly.

You crossed into the realm of humanity. By your words, you seem like a caring individual. It's nice to see that in a provider. Although you are a provider, you are still human. You liked the guy and he turned out to be a liar. It's the risk we all take when we risk feeling for another person regardless of circumstances. It's nothing to feel guilty about.

Sadly, many people in this exchange see it as weakness. Such foolishness! The details don't really matter. If you find someone you care about, go for it. You risk getting hurt but hey, that's life. I, for my part, have a lot of affection for a provider I have been seeing for two years. People can call it what they want, but I'll stick to being human any day over faking to be some tough unfeeling guy.

I'm very sorry you had to go through this. I know it sucks.

I'm married. Yes, I am honest with my providers and tell them I am married if it comes up.

How do I go about hobbying if I'm married? My wife and I have a completely unbalanced open relationship. That is to say I'm allowed to cheat, she isn't, lol. The reasoning for it I've told her before that I am more liberal in the bedroom than she is. I also told her that I never wanted her to cheat. I've been open with my desire for other women and how I struggle not to cheat. The net result was that she ok-ed me supporting a mistress. We discussed a don't ask, don't tell arrangement then. (She doesn't care if I cheat, so long as I'm safe. She is more concerned with financial ruin. LOL! As long as I keep making bank, I can cheat apparently.) I decided that given I like to play the field (i.e., like to sample all god's children), I'd take part in the hobby over trying to find a mistress.

On a side note: you were discussing your client with a friend? It doesn't matter what the context was or who brought up the phone number or whatever! Shame on you. You should have kept your mouth shut. The core of this hobby is all about discretion. If I can't trust a provider to be discreet, she shouldn't be providing.

I'm married. Yes, I am honest with my providers and tell them I am married if it comes up.

How do I go about hobbying if I'm married? My wife and I have a completely unbalanced open relationship. That is to say I'm allowed to cheat, she isn't, lol. The reasoning for it I've told her before that I am more liberal in the bedroom than she is. I also told her that I never wanted her to cheat. I've been open with my desire for other women and how I struggle not to cheat. The net result was that she ok-ed me supporting a mistress. We discussed a don't ask, don't tell arrangement then. (She doesn't care if I cheat, so long as I'm safe. She is more concerned with financial ruin. LOL! As long as I keep making bank, I can cheat apparently.) I decided that given I like to play the field (i.e., like to sample all god's children), I'd take part in the hobby over trying to find a mistress.

On a side note: you were discussing your client with a friend? It doesn't matter what the context was or who brought up the phone number or whatever! Shame on you. You should have kept your mouth shut. The core of this hobby is all about discretion. If I can't trust a provider to be discreet, she shouldn't be providing. Originally Posted by sketchball82

To your reply and all the others above, I didn't view this hobbyist as a "client" but as a MAN that I had interest in since he saw me on a regular basis. I'm sorry, but I don't go around calling my client "Tricks". I am a very low-volume provider if that makes sense and having strong communication is a must. Few men pay my bills for me to exist here, lol.

When you are a single provider you can't help but to fall in love sometimes. It makes you feel better.

For some of you to better understand, the conversation went like this:

Fiance: So are you seeing anybody at the moment?
Me: Yes, I'm seeing (insert name here).
Fiance: Where is he from?
Me: ("Your Town")
Fiance: Really? What does he do.
Me: He works for this company.
Fiance: What does he look like?

....And then from there she knew exactly who I was talking about. I had no knowledge that this woman, was HIS finance! (What is the chance of that happening in Real life? 1/1000?). But his finance was a well known in the area for hair, and I happen to come to her to get my hair done.

It would be absolutely different if I knew that this woman WAS his finance firsthand (Then I would've kept my mouth closed shut).

Me and his finance are very close now because we share a connection with a lying, irresponsible, cheating man. (She found a box of condoms, and when she asked what happened to one missing rubber, he replied that he had wanted to "try" it on). BIG FAIL! Come to find out that he was also paying my wage with his unemployment check,...so uh eh,...yup!

And why are you keeping phone numbers in your phone? Originally Posted by simpleton

Because, I have a Hobby Phone, Trick Phone, Freak Phone, etc. that I keep all the numbers of my little boy toys and banks. Go figure.

I just keep thinking.. "who cares about his finance as long as he pays?" I think all this time you meant Fiance.. insert little jiggly bob on the word.

I can see how you would fall in love and be deceived by that a**hole. I don't ask if my fellas are in a relationship/married though because I don't go into a session with that part of my interests open. I don't even consider it an option. If a man is coming to a provider in the first place shouldn't that tell you automatically that he is open to that? Therefore, why would you want to date a man that hobbies?

If he was paying your wage then you need to shut the fuck up. You don't say a word about him to anybody. This is a prime example of why A person shouldn't give out personal information.

If he's paying you to fuck he's not your boyfriend. Just like if I'm paying her to fuck she's not my gf.

Providers, did your hobbyist's wife, finance, of GF ever find out about you? And how did you go about this? Originally Posted by AlluringExotic

Yes, almost. I had a wife call my hooker phone and ask me who I was. I responded stupidly and was like "who is this?". She told me that she found this number in her husbands phone. I played stupid and was asking what her husbands name was. Thankfully, it rang a bell. I told her I had another call and to hold on for a second. I checked my phone and saw that he had only called me once (to tell me he was here) and no text messages were sent. I came back on the other line played dumb some more and asked her to repeat her husbands name. I said some guy called me yesterday with the wrong number. She bought it. She started laughing and felt stupid. Too bad the joke was on her.

Yes, once. I had a wife call my hooker phone and ask me who I was. I responded stupidly and was like "who is this?". She told me that she found this number in her husbands phone. I played stupid and was asking what her husbands name was. Thankfully, it rang a bell. I told her I had another call and to hold on for a second. I checked my phone and saw that he had only called me once (to tell me he was here) and no text messages were sent. I came back on the other line played dumb some more and asked her to repeat her husbands name. I said some guy called me yesterday with the wrong number. She bought it. She started laughing and felt stupid. Too bad the joke was on her. Originally Posted by Shayla

I don't understand what it is with some wives and their hubby's phones. Some wives get crazy over every little call and text message.

I don't understand what it is with some wives and their hubby's phones. Some wives get crazy over every little call and text message. Originally Posted by AlluringExotic

Well, chances are if she thinks her husband is cheating - he probably is.

I don't understand why people can't just share.

Fiance: So are you seeing anybody at the moment?
Me: Yes, I'm seeing (insert name here).
Fiance: Where is he from?
Me: ("Your Town")
Fiance: Really? What does he do.
Me: He works for this company.
Fiance: What does he look like? Originally Posted by AlluringExotic

I understand you could have started to like the guy, and I don't know what happened behind closed doors. But if he's still paying, he's still your client, not your boyfriend. If he started to accept a freebie or two... now that's a different issue. Maybe for some reason it was clear to you two that you were a thing... what comes across in your post is you snitched on your client. D:

Either way, I feel bad for the guy in truth, lol. I doubt there are many of us in this hobby that doesn't fear it will bite us in the ass, be it with LE or with the SO (even if the SO claims to be ok with it!!).

If he was paying your wage then you need to shut the fuck up. You don't say a word about him to anybody. This is a prime example of why A person shouldn't give out personal information.

If he's paying you to fuck he's not your boyfriend. Just like if I'm paying her to fuck she's not my gf. Originally Posted by simpleton

Why do you think so low and simple? Obviously my conversation here is much more meaningful than fucking for money. And you obviously don't read my posts here, because I did not imply that he was my "BF".

Some of us like the hobby more intimately than others. Each to their own.

Wow, some of the people who post on this board have no tact, nevertheless sympathy and a working brain cell.