One day, in midtown Omaha, 3 dwarfs are huddled around a computer watching some midget porn (Little Debbie does Dallas) when on the radio they hear it announced that the Guiness Book of World Records is in town to verify possible world records.
Dwarf#1 says 'Awesome, I have thought my hands may be the smallest hands ever. I can barely grasp a normal size pencil. I am going to go and see if they are, in fact, the smallest in the world.'
Dwarf#2 says ' Really? I may have to go too. My feet are so small I have to go to BabyGap to find shoes for myself and they are still to big. I am going with you.'
Dwarf#3 shyly says 'I am a little embarrassed to admit this, but, my little beanie is really fucking tiny. Hell, sometimes on colder days it is an innie like my belly button. I am going along if that is ok with you all.'
So they make there way down to be tested by the Guiness verifiers. They have to wait a little while as there are a shit ton of Omahans claiming to be the st00pitest person alive. It is finally their turns.
Dwarf#1 goes in first. About 10 minutes later he comes out of the testing booth waving his wee wittle hands in the air and yells 'YIPEEEEEE, I have the smallest hands in the whole freakin world!'
It is now Dwarf#2's turn to be tested. He goes in and about 5 minutes later he comes running out as fast as his 2 little feet can move him and exclaims 'YAHOOO, my feets is the smallest in the world!'
Dwarf#3 then goes into the testing booth. A couple of minutes he comes out and he is mad as hell and says 'If I ever find this Bairstan guy, the hobbyist from Omaha, I am going to beat the hell out of him.'
Hope you all have a great month.
