Common Courtesy???

MrHappy4u's Avatar
Since there has been some discussion in various forums that tend to tip toe around the subject, I'll come straight out and stir the pot a bit.

Are there ever any circumstances a No Call No Show is justified? Common Courtesy (or lack, thereof) cuts both ways for Providers and Hobbyist.

Experiences?
Justification?
Excuses (aka the skin of a reason, stuffed with a lie)?
diveguy6's Avatar
Fortunately, I have never been in that situation, but due to my job, scheduling can be an enormous hassle and had to cancel. Out of common courtesy, on both parts, any change should be communicated between provider and hobbyist to release each other from the arrangement made so both parties can make other plans. When it happens that way for me, I alert the provider as soon as possible. Time is money, and money is time right. From the hobbyist stand point I see no reason to burn bridges. In a reference driven community, why cut your own throat??? I'm still in the learning process, but common sense carries you a long damn way. Just MHO, for what its worth...
It can be justified, sure. Providers or Hobbyists each can have an emergency or have family members that require immediate attention where they are unavailable to talk or text about hobby related scheduling, etc.

IMHO, where the real issue is, what is considered an emergency or justifiable reason for a NCNS? A child that wants cotton candy ONLY from the fair so the provider won't answer her phone or texts because "she really doesn't feel like it" I know most people wont believe this but hobbyist and providers lie when it comes to this situation and now his or her sister went to the hospital or car died, or fill in the blank.

How often has anyone heard? "I know we are scheduled for tonight in about an hour but I really don't feel like it. Can we reschedule?" Guys if you have, I bet your feelings got hurt or ladies, I'm betting that you asked for or felt like you were owed for your time. I've heard the "I just started" more times than I can remember and then read a review for the same date. No one wants to hurt anyone's feelings, lose business, or not visit a provider they really want to see. So lies come into play.

I recently had a sinus infection with a bad headache but because I feel like I persuaded someone to come to the area, I made the apt. She was great but I was not. I have also driven an hour or two to be stood up and canceled on at the last minute. It sucks but as long as someone is respectful and let me know, they screwed up or apologize within a short time frame, I'm usually pretty lenient. However, act like a little schoolgirl or like you don't give a shit and you lose a client.

NCNS's suck but a plausible excuse is always appreciated.
Sweet N Little's Avatar
Ive only had it happen once and it was EXTREMELY justified..

If I ever did have one that I didn't hear from sometime afterwards, I would check the obituaries

I think its about respect and as you stated Mr Happy, simple.. common.. courtesy ,remember the term "Were you raised in a barn?" lol, You should be considerate of others time and effort.


IMHO about 99% of the time a NCNS shows a lack of courtesy and respect. I know life happens and sometimes an emergency comes up but in reality how often does this honestly happen? I know wrecks happen and health issues come on all the sudden but if we are honest about it those things are few and far between. The thing that gets me the most is when a date is set and the night before I call to confirm and the date is still on and all systems are go then I call the way she wants me to, 30 minutes before meeting time for location and no answer. I will call a few more times in the next hour and never get an answer. 2 hours later I get a text saying "sorry I don't know what happened but my phone never rang". Well DUH, it never rang because you had it turned off. How do I know this, because it went straight to voice mail......it never rang on my end either. NCNS happens but usually it's just a lack of respect.
Are there ever any circumstances a No Call No Show is justified? Originally Posted by MrHappy4u
Yes, though rarely so, IMHO. In one thread a poster indicated only LE or medical emergency are justified, yet I believe there are other "justified" examples, though not very many.



Justifiable provider NCNS, in my opinion, would include:
  • LE matters
  • Life threatening illness (medical emergency)
  • Sudden, non-life-threatening illness (non-emergency)
  • Lost phone (and associated contact information)
  • Scheduling error **
  • Unexpected family member visit
  • Auto accident (injurious or not)
  • Phone battery died and forgot charger (it happens sometimes)
** Example: I had booked a date for May 3, 2011 at 11 am. Totally out of character for her not to show up or call, but she does not keep her phone on 24/7, only for a period of time before a scheduled date. I tried to call a few times, left messages and sent PMs. Finally, later that day, she calls me back. She says, "but I have us planned for May 3." I said, "Honey, today is May 3". She realizes she was a day off. Having done the same thing in real life myself, I give her the benefit of the doubt, and she profusely apologizes and offers to reschedule right away. Yes it was frustrating, but it happens sometimes that we, as human beings, just simply have a brain fart.

While the excusable may be infrequent or even rare, it does happen and it is not limited to only LE or medical emergency, as someone opined elsewhere. Shit happens, and the aftermath determines whether we should be accommodating or not.

Of course, when the boner is painfully engorged, a NCNS is far more frustrating, and we tend to think more negatively when the little head is doing the thinking.

Well DUH, it never rang because you had it turned off. How do I know this, because it went straight to voice mail......it never rang on my end either. NCNS happens but usually it's just a lack of respect. Originally Posted by horserider
I agree that many, or even most, are unjustified, however, as a point of consideration: there are times when a phone will go straight to voicemail when the phone is turned ON. Those include network problems (which occur much more often than people realize), or while the recipient is making a call or receives/sends a text at the same time a call is coming in, or has logged onto email using the phone device, or two calls arrive nearly simultaneously (and some ladies get hundreds of calls per day), or she is in an area with poor reception, or... <fill in the blank>. Cell/digital telephones, and the switches through which the call is routed, work differently than land-lines. The technology is prone to disconnections and network problems, and happens more often than people realize (which is why some of the television commercials try to tout lower disconnection rates compared to the competition). Those in the business of building the cell tower switching technology know what I am talking about.

Of course, it is very hard to give the benefit of the doubt when afflicted with blue balls. I, like most, believe the majority of NCNS are without justification, but recognize that sometimes there will be a valid explanation and profuse apology, and when that happens (even if rare), a rescheduled time can be truly enjoyable.

JMHO, FWIW
KDOGG's Avatar
  • KDOGG
  • 09-25-2012, 09:25 AM
Speaking of a NCNS, Mr H. I had a well known provider contact me recently to set up an appt. I rearrange my schedule to see her and then on the next day appt. (1pm) I contact her repeatedly and get nothing until the END of the day and then it's, "OH, FUCK, Sorry I fell asleep". C'mon, I get it if it's a midnight appt but at 1pm!!! I do my fair share of hobbying but I do work too. And when I work.... I AM VERY BUSY!! I've had a great session previously with her and was looking forward to another.........oh well. Not important who since this discussion is to share experiences. So, it happens to the best of us.

Have fun........
I am always having last minute issue come up. I usually know a day or so ahead but sometime an issue comes up that I have to handle at the last minute. Being a one-man show, there is no one whom I can get to handle them for me. As you know, issues that are not handled immediately can grow quickly into a large expensive problem. That has been my biggest problem with the hobby having the free time available. When I do have free time available, it is usually at the last minute that I know about it. If I make an appointment with a regular and can't make it, and I don't call ahead, then I believe I still owe her for the time, and I will reimburse her for her time. I believe that a provider should be willing to give a free hour of time if they are NCNS. I have the funds but I don't have the time, and I only do evening appointments when I am traveling.
Makayla of Missouri's Avatar
I can't tell you how many times a REGULAR client has cancelled last second or simply been a ncns. It is frustrating to no end and I hope it never has to happen again!

I can understand work/health/family/emergency issues, but I have also heard these things as a lie. Who REALLY knows if the client/provider cancelling is telling the truth, anyways? I suppose we should just chalk it up to the game and not take it personally. At least, that's what I do.

I realize there are great, well-meaning, and appointment-keeping clients and providers. If you are on this board and/or want to keep a great reputation, I suggest keeping or properly cancelling the appointment

I'm not sure about giving a free hour of my time, but only because I have yet to find clients who are willing to provide me ANY consideration for a NCNS. Only ONE has ever offered to compensate me for my lost time and/or expenses in a fair fashion, and he wasn't even a NCNS. He simply had to cancel and let me know and left the money at the front desk for me.

Example: after driving an hour round trip for a (verifiable) client one time, he threw me $10 for cancelling the appointment once I arrived, stating that I took too long to get there. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I was clear in that I don't live in town and during rush-hour traffic it's going to take me some time.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander....

Just my .02
Sydney Pure's Avatar
Since there has been some discussion in various forums that tend to tip toe around the subject, I'll come straight out and stir the pot a bit.

Are there ever any circumstances a No Call No Show is justified? Common Courtesy (or lack, thereof) cuts both ways for Providers and Hobbyist.

Experiences?
Justification?
Excuses (aka the skin of a reason, stuffed with a lie)? Originally Posted by MrHappy4u
I got ONE answer for about Half well 7 providers and thats MANAGEMENT...

hell if she just got her ass beat, her phone taken, and locked in a room with nothing well they you go...

NCNS....


As you can tell I'm real close to exposing all these so called independent hoes out ...
Rollensmoke's Avatar
OK lets say some of the NCNS could be justified, but it has happened to me 3 times in the past. Not from the same Provider. Its not a nice feeling knowing that they don't feel it is important to call or text say its not happening. If I was to do that I would be Black Balled by them. They expect it from me and I also expect it from them. IAll I am asking is Just let me know if the appointment has been canceled so I may make new arrangement's with a provider then.