Safe Words, Do We Need Them?

Safe Words Do You Need Them?
What is your safe word?
How many times do you use it in a session?
How many times have you forgoten your safe word?

How about during one of those commercial breaks, you review and make sure you remember your safe word?

You don't need a "safe" word if you know what you are doing.
Allowing the sub to control the activities is lame.
What is next? Handing him the whip?

Hell, you can't understand them with the ball gag in... Just sounds like mumbling to me... My response is usually a laugh followed by " It sure does suck to be you right now.. heheheheheh ".

I can always tell by the intensity of their writhing... I am rather cruel....

I always tell my guys "Ouch is not a safe word" lol

I LOVE subs who will take whatever I dish out for a wonderful reward...

I love subbies who can take it.

Unless the sub and the dom have thoroughly negotiated the terms of the play, and the sub trusts the dom implicitly, it's foolish to play without a safeword. I'm surprised that a "pro" domme would suggest otherwise.

If the sub is bound, there are safe signals that can be used - one is to have the sub hold a red handkerchief, and if it's dropped, the session halts for discussion.

13 Mistakes To Avoid When Selecting A Safeword For BDSM Play

1. Cognitive dissonance can be problematic. For example, using “More, More, Harder, Harder,” “Green Light,” or “Yes! Yes! Yes!” as a Safe Word may prove sufficiently confusing to cause a transient but uncomfortable delay in the desired cessation of festivities.

2. Homographs are iffy. Your more exacting Doms won’t find “You say tomato, I say tomato” all that amusing.

3. Likewise, homonyms (e.g., plays on “bear” the burden and “bare” your ass) can be tricky. I reference Master Murphy’s Law: Any safe words that can be confused will be confused and its corollary: “Momentary confusion” takes on a entirely different meaning when the “momentary” part occurs during a flogging.

4. Multi-syllabic, sesquipedalian words, especially those of the sort most often found in medical or scientific literature or novelty books about word play are not ideal. Even if you can routinely recall such monstrosities as “floccinaucinihilipilification ,” “hepaticocholangiocholecystent erostomies,” and “Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilic ovolcanoconiosis,” it’s showing off, and, believe me, nobody likes a smart ass sub.

5. Safe Words that aren’t words (e.g., “833646520034″) fall into the same category as #4.

6. While dramatic and emphatic, exclamations such as “Ouch,” “Damn, that hurts,” and “What the heck do you think you’re doing?” can be misunderstood.

7. The subjunctive mood (e.g., “It’s as though I can’t take any more” or “I wish it would quit hurting”) is typically inappropriate for ones Safe Word.

8. ” ” It didn’t work for Prince and it won’t work for you.

9. AAAA. (“Assiduously Avoid Acronyms, Asshole”). “NGSCB” may mean “Next-Generation Secure Computing Base,” to you, but does your Dom know that?

10. Think twice before choosing tricky proper names (for example, names of towns such as Unalakleet, Alaska or Prem Nagar, India and especially those vowel-deficient designations of Welsh villages such as Cwmtwrch). A good rule of thumbscrews is that if you can’t grunt the Safe Word intelligibly with a gag in your mouth, then it’s not really safe, is it?

11. Using something on the line of “Is that the best you can do, Mistress?” and “You’re such a wuss, Master” is just asking for trouble. (Handy memory aid: Taunts are for Tops; Begging is for Bottoms)

12. Some words and terms just don’t fit the context. For example,
• “Hamiltonian-Federalist Jeffersonian-Republican Alignment”
• “Willing suspension of disbelief”
• “Bernoulli’s Principle”
• Any phrase which includes the words “butterfly” or “unicorn.”
• Anything in the form of a rhyming couplet
• Almost all scripture from the New Testament (yes, even the modern translations)

13. “Fuck You, Master” is a Safe Word probably best left to the very experienced, hard core players.

Unless the sub and the dom have thoroughly negotiated the terms of the play, and the sub trusts the dom implicitly, it's foolish to play without a safeword. I'm surprised that a "pro" domme would suggest otherwise.

If the sub is bound, there are safe signals that can be used - one is to have the sub hold a red handkerchief, and if it's dropped, the session halts for discussion. Originally Posted by blowpop

Agreed.......
I have never know a TRUE Dom that would session without a safe word....Now we are not talking sexual fantasy play, but true BDSM sessions. The sub trust you to push their limits but to keep them safe as well............

I personally wouldn't do any kind of serious BDSM play without a safe word, and a comfort level that the Domme would honor it. "Safe, Sane, and Consensual" is our mantra after all.

Perhaps a safe word isn't necessary for light sensual domination, especially if limits are established in advance, or you can just say "stop" in plain English, but I can't imagine anything approaching hard core without a safe word.

Not only do I think it is necessary for safety's sake, but, relating to what DR said about "Ouch isn't a safe word", having a safe word allows you to role play your little heart out if you wish--screaming, writhing, saying "please stop" or whatever. And your Domme can continue on and contribute her own bits to the role play unless she hears the safe word. And there does need to be an agreed upon signal to back off or stop if the sub is gagged as well.

It does take an extraordinary amount of skill and excellent instincts about people to be a great Domme. For example, even with a safe word, the Domme needs to know what she is doing, because once her sub gets into that delightful realm known as subspace, he may not know when he is being seriously hurt, and not use it. Or he could hyperventilate, faint, fall, and fracture his skull.

Mistress Precious is the best Pro Domme I've known, and she can be pretty much as extreme as you can handle. She certainly uses safe words, and is acutely aware of what is going on psychologically and physiologically with her subs.

Paulina Payne is the best Sensual Domme I've ever known, though she is capable of getting pretty intense if that's what you want. In my opinion, she's the best for those who are seriously submissive, but also seriously need sensuality. She's also amazing for pure GFE.

I am only into soft sensual domination type play....so no safe words needed usually

but here is a cool link....
http://1heckofaguy.com/2006/06/02/ur...al-safe-words/

I've used the safe word quite often as the mind goes before the body in my case. Most of the time the look on my face with my tearful eyes is enough to cause her to stop the session. Safe words are an essential part to any safe and enjoyable play. Know who your playing with, set up a safe word, play safe and have fun. Enjoy the Kink and enjoy the time you got left as there are no do overs.

You don't need a "safe" word if you know what you are doing.
Allowing the sub to control the activities is lame.
What is next? Handing him the whip? Originally Posted by *GoddessDallas*

I would think in the Hobby world or RL we would want to look out for each other no matter what. Playing it safe should be a number one priority. When a sub can't control the activities that he's not comfortable with and not allowed a safe word, then I think that's crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed............ijs

On a side note my safe word is "I gotta pee"

A safe word is a must, and 'red' works as well as anything. However, the ball gag is an issue. Some sequence of grunts, e.g. short, long, short, works.