New Girlfriend says her fantasy is to have a man "Take Control"

So my new girlfriends fantasy is to have a man take control of her. I have my thoughts but thought I would post it.

Are you looking for suggestions, or just lording that little factoid over the rest of us?

Please tell us more. Don't hold out on us. This sounds like it could be a lot of fun.

Then take control of her, tell what you demand and tell her she better do it. Whats the problem.

There was a thread somewhat on this point re women that enjoy having a man pulling their hair back like a horse's mane while their being hammered doggystyle. Some even commented that it made them hot to have his hands wrapped around the back of their necks while they enjoyed deep doggy.

I have had a number of civie girlfriends and one provider request this.

In general, the purpose of the man taking control is to put the woman in a position where she is not able to reciprocate (so she can concentrate on her own pleasure) and so that the fact she is receiving pleasure is guilt-free. That is, she is not responsible for her own pleasure. This allows her to fully feel the moment, be less inhibited, and enjoy the pleasure.

Trust is paramount, of course; because brain scans of women while being stimulated to orgasm by their partners shows that women generally need a period of relaxed vigilance to make sure the conscious mind doesn't inhibit autonomically stimulated orgasm. A safe word is chosen in advance.

Here is how such things usually go with me -- leaving out details particular to each woman.

The mood is set. The lights are low so she isn't self-conscious about how she might appear. (Though she doesn't know that's why I have set them low.) There may be a small amount of alcohol (emphasis on SMALL, because much can be a problem). The purpose of this is to give her plausible deniability for loosing control.

I help her relax. Foot rubs and scalp/face massages work well; but so does a hand massage if done well. This gets her used to being touched by me; but brain scan studies of women during sex indicate this is also helpful in assisting her pleasure.

Then she is restrained. I am incredibly gentle about this. The restraints are quite real -- she is usually spread-eagled on the bed and her ankles and wrists bound effectively (but NOT tightly) such that her movement is quite limited. But I am gentle (NOT trepidatious) in applying them. She is a prisoner of love; not a prisoner of hate.

From this point, it depends on the woman. With some, the addition of minor pain (such as hot wax dripped from high enough up that it has time to cool on the way down or minor pinches) enhances the feelings of pleasure from the pleasurable stuff. With others, there is no need for any pain at all. WIth some, I call attention to her powerless position and the fact that I am in control rather than her. WIth others, I let her position speak for itself. You have to be empathic and sense her needs if they haven't been communicated.

Pleasure is delivered over the entire body in various ways; starting with feather-light touches and multiple points of stimulation of various parts of the body. This usually lasts 20-30 minutes of teasing before her privates are even touched. By the time the privates are touched -- she is begging.

As for technique, what works for every woman varies. But consider you are dealing with a civie who finds you attractive; success is quite likely. I like to take my time, and modulate so that her sexual tension peaks in another 20-30 minutes by which time she is squirming and begging.

Typically, I am unsatisfied with delivering only one orgasm. Many women are multiorgasmic and with a properly modulated rest (can be gaged by observation of tumescence of tissues) can be brought to orgasm repeatedly.

Again, I may or may not remind her of her helplessness. Attitude in doing this is everything.

She is released only after her agreement to properly service her man in exchange for what was delivered.

Girls want you to fuck them like an animal, don't ask, just do.

If you don't, someone else will.

Laurentis...where have you been all my life?! Oh please oh please pleeeeeeease tell me you love Dallas and you visit frequently!!

Love it.

Schmoo....

I like your avatar and dug through Wiki as I remembered the character from the L'il Abner comic strip.

A shmoo is shaped like a plump bowling pin with legs. It has smooth skin, eyebrows and sparse whiskers - but no arms, nose or ears. Its feet are short and round but dexterous, as the shmoo's comic book adventures make clear. It has a rich gamut of facial expressions, and often expresses love by exuding hearts over its head.
Cartoonist Al Capp ascribed to the shmoo the following curious characteristics. His satirical intent should be evident:

• They reproduce asexually and are very prolific. They require no sustenance other than air.
• Naturally gentle, they require minimal care, and are ideal playmates for young children.
• Shmoos are delicious to eat, and are eager to be eaten. If a human looks at one hungrily, it will happily immolate itself, either by jumping into a frying pan, after which they taste like chicken, or into a broiling pan, after which they taste like steak. When roasted they taste like pork, and when baked they taste like catfish. (Raw, they taste like oysters on the half-shell.)
• They also produce eggs (neatly packaged), milk (bottled grade-A), and butter — no churning required. Their pelts make perfect bootleather or house timber, depending on how thick you slice it.
• They have no bones, so there's absolutely no waste. Their eyes make the best suspender buttons, and their whiskers make perfect toothpicks. In short, they are simply the perfect ideal of a subsistence agricultural herd animal.
• The frolicking of shmoon is so entertaining (such as their staged "shmoosical comedies") that people no longer feel the need to watch television or go to the movies.
• Some of the more tasty varieties of shmoo are more difficult to catch. Usually shmoo hunters, now a sport in some parts of the country, utilize a paper bag, flashlight and stick to capture their shmoos. At night the light stuns them, then they can be whacked in the head with the stick and put in the bag for frying up later on.

I would suggest taking control via bondage. The hottest scene I had taking control was to tie my partner to the bed with her legs spread so she was totally accessible and at my mercy. I proceeded to tease her until she begged for me to let her cum. It was hot and what made it even hotter was that someone watched us.

I have had a number of civie girlfriends and one provider request this.

In general, the purpose of the man taking control is to put the woman in a position where she is not able to reciprocate (so she can concentrate on her own pleasure) and so that the fact she is receiving pleasure is guilt-free. That is, she is not responsible for her own pleasure. This allows her to fully feel the moment, be less inhibited, and enjoy the pleasure.

Trust is paramount, of course; because brain scans of women while being stimulated to orgasm by their partners shows that women generally need a period of relaxed vigilance to make sure the conscious mind doesn't inhibit autonomically stimulated orgasm. A safe word is chosen in advance.

Here is how such things usually go with me -- leaving out details particular to each woman.

The mood is set. The lights are low so she isn't self-conscious about how she might appear. (Though she doesn't know that's why I have set them low.) There may be a small amount of alcohol (emphasis on SMALL, because much can be a problem). The purpose of this is to give her plausible deniability for loosing control.

I help her relax. Foot rubs and scalp/face massages work well; but so does a hand massage if done well. This gets her used to being touched by me; but brain scan studies of women during sex indicate this is also helpful in assisting her pleasure.

Then she is restrained. I am incredibly gentle about this. The restraints are quite real -- she is usually spread-eagled on the bed and her ankles and wrists bound effectively (but NOT tightly) such that her movement is quite limited. But I am gentle (NOT trepidatious) in applying them. She is a prisoner of love; not a prisoner of hate.

From this point, it depends on the woman. With some, the addition of minor pain (such as hot wax dripped from high enough up that it has time to cool on the way down or minor pinches) enhances the feelings of pleasure from the pleasurable stuff. With others, there is no need for any pain at all. WIth some, I call attention to her powerless position and the fact that I am in control rather than her. WIth others, I let her position speak for itself. You have to be empathic and sense her needs if they haven't been communicated.

Pleasure is delivered over the entire body in various ways; starting with feather-light touches and multiple points of stimulation of various parts of the body. This usually lasts 20-30 minutes of teasing before her privates are even touched. By the time the privates are touched -- she is begging.

As for technique, what works for every woman varies. But consider you are dealing with a civie who finds you attractive; success is quite likely. I like to take my time, and modulate so that her sexual tension peaks in another 20-30 minutes by which time she is squirming and begging.

Typically, I am unsatisfied with delivering only one orgasm. Many women are multiorgasmic and with a properly modulated rest (can be gaged by observation of tumescence of tissues) can be brought to orgasm repeatedly.

Again, I may or may not remind her of her helplessness. Attitude in doing this is everything.

She is released only after her agreement to properly service her man in exchange for what was delivered. Originally Posted by Laurentius

This is a nice vanilla scenario for light bondage and submission. It would be a great intro for a woman who would like to explore and dabble but is cautious and maybe a bit intimidated.

However, many women, and quite possibly this one, have fantasies about being "ravaged". Being ravaged is quite different than this scenario. If THAT is what she longs for, this scene may leave her unfulfilled. The desire to be ravaged makes sense when you break it down.

Many desires in life focus on the quest to feel needed or loved. Being desired feels like being wanted and loved. So, for many women, having a man (one they trust) NEED them so badly they will "take" them, with no regard for anything but that, makes a woman feel incredibly desired.

This is why some women fantasize about being raped. They don't actually want to be raped, merely desired that badly.

After reading the last two threads I need to excuse myself for a little "me" time. I like to dominate but with the right person I could see myself totally switching!

This is good stuff.

I may have to look up Dannie to get things fine tuned

Nice thread... something I can try with the S/O...