HOBBY MISTAKES - some are funny; some are not

If this thread gets rolling, it should help providers as well as their clients (us). Let me start things off and request that no names be listed next to the "mistake" or funny thing.

GUYS: List things the ladies should avoid.

LADIES: List things the guys should avoid.

No names will hopefully help keep the thread helpful to all without drama and accusations. There are so many new providers on the scene, it may help some and also help some of the new guys get the ladies' perspective. Let's not waste time, however, listing the basics like:

Be on time
Don't "no show"
Don't smell

I will start by listing things I heard that struck me as uniquely "mistakes" that the ladies can easily avoid.

1) Guy asks girl after playtime if she had a good time. She replies with very minimal enthusiasm or none at all. Ladies, if you want return business, fake it!

2) Kiss goodbye - if you are a gfe provider, adding a passionate goodbye kiss will bring back 73% more customers for a second appointment. This statistic is from a Gallup poll taken in 2009.

3) Things not to say - you arrive and want to take a quick shower. The lady asks if she can join you, cause she didn't get a chance after her last appointment. Hopefully no explanation needed.

4) Had a provider sniffling the whole time. Was she sick or was it allergies? Not sure, but if you are sick, please cancel the appointment! Then you might get a regular customer, rather than someone who is disappointed and will never return.

I hope you're seriously not going to try and get guys to tell escorts how to run or improve their business?

There are numerous threads about that very subject and the truly sad part is that those who need the advice the worst, will never think it applies to them.

Same for the guys. Escorts complain all the time about unclean guys who do all sorts of things including condom cutting so they get BBFS instead of CFS but the guys who do so never read or get the point.

Might want to spend some time doing a few searches here and provide the links to each side first and then you'll see what I mean about this for the most part beating dead horses.

yeah i agree with LL lets not turn this into a "bitch session" the most important stuff should be common sense anything else can change from person to person.

Everything you both wrote is true. But, consider this. EVERY DAY there are over 100 new registrations. Some of them ARE actually NEW PEOPLE.

This is why there is and will continue to be so much repetition on this board. It's not always a bad thing. I agree with Jules that it shouldn't turn into a "bitch session" but ideally would be (at least partially) entertaining!

That said, my optimism has always been my undoing. So, if this thread dies a quick death and no one replies constructively, then that's ok. If anyone has something good to add, then fire away. I know there have been threads about this type of thing. At the same time, I believe that some things are (at least occasionally) worth repeating for new providers and new hobby members.

Heaven forbid that business women listen to their customers or hobbyists to their suppliers. What's next? Common sense breaking out all over? Peace in the Mid East?

1. Guys: Don't presume someone you've seen several times is meeting you in the same place. Fortunately for me, no one was home at the usual office as I let myself in the back gate and tapped several times on the back door.
2. Guys &/or Girls: Take condoms out of the box and have them ready.... A real buzz kill to struggle to break into the anti-shoplifting container someone dreamed up.
3. Guys &/or Girls: Take the seals out of the lube bottle before beginning.
4. Girls: Please don't tell me once, let alone 3 times in a session how wonderful Surge is.
5. Reese: If you have trouble controlling your body in the heat of the moment, don't leave the nearly full glass of Rosa Regale right next to the bed.
6. Girls, don't listen to the crap. No matter where I really am on the Peter-meter scale, keep telling me how big I am.

Everything you both wrote is true. But, consider this. EVERY DAY there are over 100 new registrations. Some of them ARE actually NEW PEOPLE.

This is why there is and will continue to be so much repetition on this board. It's not always a bad thing. I agree with Jules that it shouldn't turn into a "bitch session" but ideally would be (at least partially) entertaining! Originally Posted by Braveheart

Braveheart,

You are correct but if you read my entire post, I suggested he search and collect the previous threads of this nature to assist in the process.

#1 If you smoke, either you use mouthwash or something to take that odor away completely.

# 2 Turn the lousy phone off. Nothing more aggravating to have you continue to glance at your phone to see who you got a text from. Or just let me flush your freaking phone down the toilet.

If I offer you mouthwash/deodorant/shower/etc. more than one time, don't laugh and ask if it's a hint. It's a hint.

Please don't tell me to/not to fake an orgasm. You have just guaranteed that if I have an orgasm, it's fake. Asking if the orgasm(s) was real or not has the same effect.

Don't accuse me of just telling you what you want to hear. True or not, I said it because I wanted to, because I like you and want you to feel good about yourself. Accusing me of lying hurts my feelings.

Please don't expect to book an hour and stay two. If you are having a great time and want to stay longer, I'll probably be delighted to keep you, for an additional fee.

Please don't ask me my real name. I have a hobby name for a reason.

Do not make jokes about how you're probably my fifth client that day. You are not and saying things like that makes me feel like you think I'm dirty. Now I won't be able to relax and enjoy your company. You will not be invited back.

Please remember that you called a respectable woman who has manners and expects the same. If you want a cheap thrill with someone you can talk to and treat however you want, you might want to try a different venue. I'm a lady. You should be sweet with the ladies.

Please remember that I am not Waffle House. You do not have a right to my services. They are a privilege and I reserve the right to decline the pleasure of your company. Consider that I may have a very good reason, such as you remind me of my brother/father/pastor/etc.... imagine how awkward that's going to be. Accept my decision graciously, like a gentleman, and move on to someone with whom you are going to have a fantastic time. No need for animosity.

I cannot read your mind. Please feel free to tell me what you like, I won't mind.


No groundbreaking stuff here. But it's amazing how often these things aren't adhered to. Thank you so very Very VERY much to the gents who are as sweet and considerate as possible. You're the reason I love my job.

keep your voicemail up to date, especially when you have a appointment scheduled. Its a big turn off to make a call get no answer and being unable to leave a voicemail.

same goes for email - if you don't clean out your inbox once in a while, you may not get an important email and miss out on a great time.

Please I do not really care to know about what happened on your last date, who she was, where she lives, how long she's been working, how many kids she has!!

That has to be the thing that gets on my nerves, I'm sure you wouldn't like me to start talking about the last guy I saw during the whole date.

I really just want you to bang the shit out of me - stop talking so I can drain you so hard you ejaculate dust. That'll give you something to chat about!!

5. Reese: If you have trouble controlling your body in the heat of the moment, don't leave the nearly full glass of Rosa Regale right next to the bed. Originally Posted by mtabsw

Sorry about that....what a waste! Fawn would kill me!!



Traci......couldn't have said it better myself!

Dang. It sounds like you've had some bad clients. That is unfortunate.

If I offer you mouthwash/deodorant/shower/etc. more than one time, don't laugh and ask if it's a hint. It's a hint.

Please don't tell me to/not to fake an orgasm. You have just guaranteed that if I have an orgasm, it's fake. Asking if the orgasm(s) was real or not has the same effect.

Don't accuse me of just telling you what you want to hear. True or not, I said it because I wanted to, because I like you and want you to feel good about yourself. Accusing me of lying hurts my feelings.

Please don't expect to book an hour and stay two. If you are having a great time and want to stay longer, I'll probably be delighted to keep you, for an additional fee.

Please don't ask me my real name. I have a hobby name for a reason.

Do not make jokes about how you're probably my fifth client that day. You are not and saying things like that makes me feel like you think I'm dirty. Now I won't be able to relax and enjoy your company. You will not be invited back.

Please remember that you called a respectable woman who has manners and expects the same. If you want a cheap thrill with someone you can talk to and treat however you want, you might want to try a different venue. I'm a lady. You should be sweet with the ladies.

Please remember that I am not Waffle House. You do not have a right to my services. They are a privilege and I reserve the right to decline the pleasure of your company. Consider that I may have a very good reason, such as you remind me of my brother/father/pastor/etc.... imagine how awkward that's going to be. Accept my decision graciously, like a gentleman, and move on to someone with whom you are going to have a fantastic time. No need for animosity.

I cannot read your mind. Please feel free to tell me what you like, I won't mind.


No groundbreaking stuff here. But it's amazing how often these things aren't adhered to. Thank you so very Very VERY much to the gents who are as sweet and considerate as possible. You're the reason I love my job. Originally Posted by tracibrooks

Please give enough notice so that I can be fully ready, at least an hour. Please be clean, gentlemen, I can't tell you how many guys come in and spread their legs for me to go down and suck it good...and I damn near throw up. Gents, wash your ass, lmmfao!!! I should not have to ask you to take a shower.If possible, trim your hair down there, I want to be able to concentrate more on sucking, rather than pulling hair out of my mouth. If you book an appointment and can't make it, please call and let me know. Or if your going to be late, let me know. Please, do not try and put your fingers in me, knowing you have not washed your hands. I am a very personable person and I love to talk, so if you don't like what I have to say or talk about, don't just sit there looking lost....just stick something in my mouth, I'm sure to shut up then. LOL, I think this thread is cool, some may need the extra help on what to do and what not to do. We do have newbies here. I appriciate all yal's input.

I hope you're seriously not going to try and get guys to tell escorts how to run or improve their business? Originally Posted by LazurusLong

LOL!!! - Well, his handle IS "Braveheart." Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee