Was I wrong?

But she added an IOSS instead. Originally Posted by Boltfan

Ya but that's not his thing

So did I miss the memo on Eccie Opposite Day? Lol

...However, if you've seen her a few times, some of the curtains come down. You know her personally a little better, know their flaws a little more, talk about some of her personal things. You know her job, I think she trusted you to let you know she was going to do a little OT before coming to see you, a friend and confidant. She got a little comfortable.

I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying I understand where she may have been coming from if she was telling you a little more because she's comfortable with you. ... Originally Posted by Looking41today

regardless of how much they knew each other or were comfortable w/ each other,

my thought is she DIDNT have to tell him she was going to be late "to take care of some old guy real quick on the way to my [your] house".

she could have said "i need to take care of something. how about we move our appt back an hr or two?"

then the guy could have say yea or nay.

but telling him she's going to take care of somebody else is not very customer friendly, imho.

it's as bad as showing up to her place for a confirmed scheduled appt and her answering the door saying "can you come back in an hour? i've got a client here i have to take care of."

i know providers see many other guys.
but for me, i dont want to know she just saw a guy or guys or ...
ruins the illusion of me being the only one for her :^)

[it also depends on what she meant by "take care" - maybe the old guy was her uncle and she's his caretaker]

Yeech... not wrong at all. Sounds like she's not a very savvy provider.

Being a provider that can't and has never taken dates back to back. My stomach actually flipped a bit reading the OP.

Her loss, your gain (in knowledge)...

Best of luck with the next one.

~GN~

... she called and said she had to stop by to take care of some old guy real quick ... Originally Posted by eldiablo

Maybe "some old guy" was the studly fellow waving goodbye in a different threAD and she just had to get her some of that?

In that case I say her behavior was perfectly understandable. Can't pass on a session of a lifetime.

Thanks for the feedback. Since we had a great relationship prior, I wasn't sure if I violated some edict.

Thanks for the feedback. Since we had a great relationship prior, I wasn't sure if I violated some edict. Originally Posted by eldiablo

I am not saying you did anything wrong but what if she said " she was runnning late due to a flat" or "Waiting on the baby sitter". Ladies its a catch 22 I think it is best to just lie. I don;t know the ladies financial situation but i have no doubt she is not the only one who does it. I suspect she just felt comfortable with you enough to tell you the truth however that trust is out the door. She might still see you again but understand it wont be the same

I am not saying you did anything wrong but what if she said " she was runnning late due to a flat" or "Waiting on the baby sitter". Ladies its a catch 22 I think it is best to just lie. I don;t know the ladies financial situation but i have no doubt she is not the only one who does it. I suspect she just felt comfortable with you enough to tell you the truth however that trust is out the door. She might still see you again but understand it wont be the same Originally Posted by Thatdude

wrt lying, not necessarily the best thing to do.
if she did, then she has to remember what lie she told.

as i mentioned before, if she says something like "i need to take care of something. how about we move our appt back an hr or two?", that would take care of it.
sure, curiosity might get the guy and want to know what she's doing.
then it would be on him for "prying" into her life.

I would have been fine with that. She did have the annoying habit of scheduling calls during a session.

She should have got the older guy on the way back. Then its a win for all 3

I would have been fine with that. She did have the annoying habit of scheduling calls during a session. Originally Posted by eldiablo

Ok so were y'all friends or hobbyist/provider buddies? That's a fine line where you have to be careful where to tread. If you have allowed her to book other sessions while in session with you then you may have set yourself up for what happened in your original post. Ijs

BOTH practices were unprofessional on her part but you have to communicate what is acceptable and not acceptable if you are OTC friends. Communication is so important! I think you two need to sit down over a meal and define your expectations of one another.

Be honest but diplomatic and leave emotions out of it. Don't accuse or insult. State the facts from your point of view and accept the facts from her point of view. Then decide if you both can live with each other's perspective on how things should go in the future. Best of luck. You seem like a well-meaning guy.

OP,

From what you've said you're not being unreasonable. Since you asked: My only question is what did you're convo with her sound like? Delivery is half of the communication sometimes. If you said pretty much the same words as you've typed here, then that's cool, but if you were pissed and sounding shitty to her on the phone, then maybe she has cause to react as she did. Since you know each other, perhaps talking to her again is needed. Who knows?

What I am thankful for is that you didn't call her out here, by handle, thus forcing her to reply to it - presenting her side of the story...then all-of-a-sudden there's a huge he-said/she-said where no one really knows for sure what happened but everyone's got an opinion. The WKs and haters chime in from the peanut gallery...people get pissed off and go off-topic, blah-blah-blah, mods forced to regulate...spin-off threads, dns lists...drama.

YOU, sir, just came here and simply asked our opinion. And for THAT, sir, I salute you!!!!

Salute,
LnH

My delivery wasn't shitty at all, rather sincere. I try to be drama free and thus would never call her out.

I would have been fine with that. She did have the annoying habit of scheduling calls during a session. Originally Posted by eldiablo

el diablo, if she was scheduling calls during your session [time you are compensating her to be WITH YOU], that is not my idea of being WITH THE CLIENT.
so, that one's on her for being less than courteous and professional about your time.

if she did that and you let her do so w/out any comments/complaints from you, then you [to some extent] enabled/allowed her to do so during future sessions.
so, that one's on your for allowing her to do so.

but, it's your life, your money, and your choice.

the few times it's happened to me, i never visited w/ the women after that.

...If you have allowed her to book other sessions while in session with you then you may have set yourself up for what happened in your original post. Ijs

BOTH practices were unprofessional on her part but you have to communicate what is acceptable and not acceptable if you are OTC friends.... Originally Posted by thathottnurse

THN, letting a provider know what activities you do like/dont like is reasonable [and i have screwed up majorly not doing this].
but, letting a provider know that you dont want her spending time doing non-client activities during the appt should not have to be communicated.

THN, letting a provider know what activities you do like/dont like is reasonable [and i have screwed up majorly not doing this].
but, letting a provider know that you dont want her spending time doing non-client activities during the appt should not have to be communicated. Originally Posted by pmdelites

Pmd, I agree with you as far as hobbyist/provider sessions go. No question. That should be as obvious as not squeezing in another session on your way to a session and telling your originally booked session that he better get warmed up for a sloppy seconds session.

As you can see where you quoted me I said, "...you have to communicate what is acceptable and not acceptable if you are OTC friends." .

Hope that helps clarify what I was saying.