Integrity - Does it exist within the community? Should it exist in the Staff?

Whispers you have opened a box that perhaps should never been opened. I have found both honesty and pure deceit on this site. I recently sent Nicolet $200 for gas money to attend the Hollow Weeny party with me. When the date fell through she quickly sent the money back. She among others have been upfront and honest with me. I enjoy a great friendship with some ladies like Dallas and Emerald7. I think I could count on them as friends even if we were not in the hobby. Early in my time here I was fucked over by a little lady and her "friend" but I have gotten over that and moved on. I am here for the enjoyment as much as the sex so I will continue to watch this thread for all of the stupid non answers from the usual people.

The OP didn't set different parameters...he defined the exact terms to use to judge the question...nothing he laid out has anything to do with right and wrong...and too many of the respondents are coaching their answers in those exact terms...

Honesty and fairness have nothing to do with right and wrong...and having integrity, while ascribing to a different set of morals than someone else, is neither improbable, nor unexpected...

Why the OP chose to frame his question in a way as to make people respond in the negative, is his own business. It's your business to see through it and answer the question as it should be answered, not how he thinks it should be answered...

in·teg·ri·ty

: the quality of being honest and fair
: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values
: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.
Do you believe "integrity" exists among the membership here? Among the staff?

By our very presence here, as a group, we seem to have made a conscious decision to go against the moral compass of the society we live in. Most of our peers, family and/or friends would judge us harshly by standards we certainly do not adhere to if they knew the nature of our "hobby".

I've been pondering the concepts of integrity, honesty, trust worthiness and morality in regards to members, staff and situations that exist within the community.

Do you think that based on our wholesale decision to break rules and not conform to society's expect-able standards of behavior we have any right to expect "honesty" and "fairness" from staff? Originally Posted by Whispers

I think the questions are incorrectly phrased.
Yes, if integrity exist anywhere, it does here.
Yes, we can always expect honesty and fairness, its only given in the same frequency as the rest of society.

Buyer be ware.

Do you believe "integrity" exists among the membership here? Among the staff? Originally Posted by Whispers

Among some of the membership/staff, yes. Among all of the membership/staff, no. Humans vary.

Do you think that based on our wholesale decision to break rules and not conform to society's expect-able standards of behavior we have any right to expect "honesty" and "fairness" from staff? Originally Posted by Whispers

No, but not based on "our wholesale decision to break rules". I expect low integrity from all strangers and let them prove me wrong.

The OP didn't set different parameters...he defined the exact terms to use to judge the question...nothing he laid out has anything to do with right and wrong...and too many of the respondents are coaching their answers in those exact terms...

Honesty and fairness have nothing to do with right and wrong...and having integrity, while ascribing to a different set of morals than someone else, is neither improbable, nor unexpected...

Why the OP chose to frame his question in a way as to make people respond in the negative, is his own business. It's your business to see through it and answer the question as it should be answered, not how he thinks it should be answered... Originally Posted by Wakeup

I did not think of it that way. Of course, there are his reasons, which I'm not privy to, and there are the aspects personal to me that prejudice my answer as well. I'm going to answer again.

Do you believe "integrity" exists among the membership here? Among the staff?

Do you think that based on our wholesale decision to break rules and not conform to society's expect-able standards of behavior we have any right to expect "honesty" and "fairness" from staff? Originally Posted by Whispers

Despite my low opinions of man in general (loveable, devious pack of cunts that cannot be trusted), of course there is some integrity, probably proportionate to any other demographic.

I think our 'wholesale decision' is irrelevant. If we use the site for simply telling a story, since staff is volunteer-based, there isn't much to expect. But some guys pay and that makes it different. If I were a paying customer, I would be apeshit over what went down with my account a couple months ago. But I'm not, and I likely won't be, so it was a cheap learning experience (I guess, I still don't know what's up). Big picture, there is no right to fairness and while honesty should always be expected, it should be met with an equal expectation of dishonesty.

What's all this about?

Thank you Tucson.

I define integrity as doing what is right when nobody is looking. How you define right and wrong is up to the individuals ethos and the ethos of the group he/she decides to associated with. To have integrity in the hobby has nothing to do with how the rest of society views the whole P4P game when it comes to sex.

For me integrity means not shorting a girl on her donation. It means a provider shows up for a booked date. When it comes to ECCIE, it means a sincere effort by all to abide by the guidelines as members, and for the staff to act in a consistent manner when enforcing the guidelines or moderating the forums. We can disagree with someone's style, but to question someone's integrity is a very serious charge. It means there is favoritism to some that does not exist to others. I wonder this. Whisper, are you trying to make a statement about someone on the staff, or is this just some philosophical debate you want to bring up?

For me integrity means not shorting a girl on her donation. It means a provider shows up for a booked date. When it comes to ECCIE, it means a sincere effort by all to abide by the guidelines as members, and for the staff to act in a consistent manner when enforcing the guidelines or moderating the forums. We can disagree with someone's style, but to question someone's integrity is a very serious charge. It means there is favoritism to some that does not exist to others. I wonder this. Whisper, are you trying to make a statement about someone on the staff, or is this just some philosophical debate you want to bring up? Originally Posted by Cpalmson

It's seriously a question I find myself asking myself. Philosophical? I guess....

Over and over throughout the years I've become aware of different situations involving members and where serious enough that other members are hurt by their actions I have spoke out. Sometime in regards to members and at times in regards to staff.....

Above a member mentions Emerald7 and thinks highly of her....

Both changed their ways but it was an uncomfortable experience because I actually knew the guy......

I come across things all the time...... I know a couple of stories right now that would probably make for some long interesting threads as they involve some well "respected" members and for the first time in years I ask my self

"Why should it matter?" Am I old? Tired? Have I lost the drive to tell the stories?

I'm not sure.

If a MOD is aware of a member banned being on the board by a different handle and involved to the point of facilitating it, is it fair to other members that he issues them points or bans them? Should I care provided it's not me? Do I just sit on it and wait until I have an issue and "play the card then"?

If a member is writing positive but fake reviews to benefit a provider or writing negative reviews of a provider that he or his ATF wants slandered should it simply be accepted that we should not expect any better from a whore or monger?

If a provider has a MOD in her pocket running interference for her to the point of editing/removing information to keep the negative from coming up or weighing in to a review to slant a conversation while bumping her reviews in the process? It affects the ladies... but should we care?

More than one has brought up the adage that there is "no honor amongst thieves" and one here suggested he simply expects the worst and is happy to see people rise above it.

I've always believed in the "system" here.... I've tried to adhere to the guidelines and have made a big deal about when others did not. Especially when it had a negative effect on more than one person in the community......

Maybe the simple thing over all is to simply expect everyone to be corrupt, not care about anything that does not affect me or those close to me, simply be one of those people that knows the story and does not tell it and not care about the others getting hurt....

Yeah... Philosophical I guess.....

Note: the examples used above are not remotely on a level of some of the shit that could be told.... just used to illustrate the questions.....

We have all decided to engage in activities that, known by society in general, our peers, friends or families, would cost us our careers and families.......

Maybe we do not deserve any semblance of "fairness" from others here and should not expect there to be any integrity in the dealings with others.

Whispers there have been times when I get mad at some of your posts in this case I find your thoughts fall in line with mine.

Small shit like when a provider asks you to list a higher rate than the discounted one she gave you. There's lots of guys who can't do it; trying to not lie they don't list a fee then get all recalcitrant when asked. Another guy always on the cheap suddenly starts doing frequent reviews at 2-3x times what he was paying before. Maybe business took off, but leopards don't usually change spots.

How about getting pointed on an innocuous post because the Mod was upset about something that happened much earlier? How about admitting but not correcting that? Small shit that makes a course of action pretty clear. Like cpalmson said, it's what happens when no one is looking. If they'll take you for a dime, they'll certainly take the dollar. It keeps me from meeting folks for that drink in the first place.

So Whispers, besides the national forum and the Austin forum, in how many other forums did you post the same opening question?

Do what you do, in whatever community you have an attachment to, in good conscience and without the purpose or intent of harm, and maybe you'll sleep a little better? Originally Posted by MaxiMilyen

Pretty much this ^^^^

I try to live by the golden rule....do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That means being honest with the donation. Tipping for good service. And trying to be honest and accurate yet polite in reviews and sharing information.

Yeah, I probably pay a bit more in the long run. And I realize my point of view may be viewed as naive by many others in the hobby. But I sleep well at night, and can look myself in the eyes while I'm shaving.

I've met many ladies who render services in good faith for the dollars paid.

While this enviroment may not conform to societies norms, it has a code of ethics all its own. And while not everyonr exhibits it, integrity DOES exist.

So Whispers, besides the national forum and the Austin forum, in how many other forums did you post the same opening question? Originally Posted by FoulRon

Austin, San Antonio and Killeen where members that know me and the subject matter have an opportunity to read and comment either publicly or privately.

the Community forums bring a perspective from people I know and hear from in a variety of ways over time.....

This National Forum however has many people I have never interacted with and I am interested in others take on the subject.

Is there a reason that matters to you more than the subject matter?

I've met many ladies who render services in good faith for the dollars paid.

Unfortunately I've met many men that paid for services in good faith thet they never received!... But that is a different story....

While this environment may not conform to societies norms, it has a code of ethics all its own. And while not everyone exhibits it, integrity DOES exist. Originally Posted by hgritstoo

I've believed that for 14 years....... I am wondering now if it has just been my interactions with certain people I considered to be honorable that seem to be fading in numbers while the others grow at a rapid pace.....

in·teg·ri·ty

: the quality of being honest and fair
: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values
: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.
Do you believe "integrity" exists among the membership here? Among the staff?

By our very presence here, as a group, we seem to have made a conscious decision to go against the moral compass of the society we live in. Most of our peers, family and/or friends would judge us harshly by standards we certainly do not adhere to if they knew the nature of our "hobby".

I've been pondering the concepts of integrity, honesty, trust worthiness and morality in regards to members, staff and situations that exist within the community.

Do you think that based on our wholesale decision to break rules and not conform to society's expect-able standards of behavior we have any right to expect "honesty" and "fairness" from staff? Originally Posted by Whispers

By your own quote..just because we break the rule or law/ maybe does not mean we are unfair... Or do not have Integrity... If your client went to the bathroom after he had paid you everything you agreed upon went to the bathroom before he made that triip back to work and he dropped a hundred dollar bill on the floor . would you call him back and let him know? Now that to me is integrilty.. Only each person knows the answer to that question. What you may or may not to for a living is not integrity makes.
It is how you conduct every minute of what you do.

As far as the STAFF goes and that word.. I APPLAUD THEM ALL FOR THEIR SERVICE TO THIS COMMUNITY
Have I had my go around with some ? ! SUre have do they make choices I wouldn't make some times? Sure DO. But they are not my choices to make not my job.. I just bitch and moan a little let my thoughts be heard and move on being greatful that someone else is trying to run this mad house. I know I could not deal with all the different personalities keep everyone in line makeing sure everyone stays on the up and up.?! Integrity does not mean you don't fuck up once and a while...

As far as the fundraiser thing who know what one did or did not do.
Every year I collect toys for small children at Christmas time. I have donated them all every year to variious children in need some times neighbors local churches one time a person at walmart NO ONE SEES ME DO IT SO IT DOES NOT MEAN IT WASN'T DONE. My youngest child is 22 so no not one was for any of my children. Now if there is some this year that fit the age group of my Grandson yep you better believe i'll give him that gift. Does That mean I am not giving to a fundraiser ? Maybe it is a cheap blow on what you indeed DO NOT KNOW OR HAVE PROOF OF.?
DID ANY ONE ELSE'S NANNA TELL THEM; IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY THEN SAY NOTHING AT ALL?
If we all lived by that rule 100% of the time half this whole boards input would be deleted..... LOL Including some of my own.. SORRY NANNA..I'll try to do better