would you marry/have child by provider?

heres a hint

Yes to marry ( if one would love an old fart decades older ) but can't make babies- was cut long ago.

Why?

On what level could that possibly make sense?

Already gone through a divorce. Sucks big time. Serial semi-monogamy is the ticket for me nowadays, with just a dash of variety tossed in to keep life exciting.

What could go wrong?

My ex fiance was a hobbyist. He spoiled me, but was a sociopath that cheated constantly. didnt work... Would I date another hobbyist? Maybe... Originally Posted by Rebecca Remington

Given your line of work, why would you care if he cheated?

Run Forest run.......

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt...and the 2 kids!

Married a stripper / provider after a whirlwind romance that at the time felt like true love. 2 kids within a year and a month validates the incredible sex, desire, and passion felt...or so I thought.

Now divorced after a little over a year of marriage and having to deal with the immaturity, bipolar condition of her (and probably me too) while co-parenting 2 small children is a challenge and an every other weekend reminder of love lost, or the worst decision of my life - depending on my optimism / cynicism meter that day.

I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that both providers and us hobbyists are not wired correctly emotionally, mentally, whatever you want to label it. The melancholy ennui of day to day life simply did not offer enough excitement, and was incorrectly labeled as poor partner choice by her. No internal introspection or accountability occurred whatsoever.

Of course when a relationship begins and is based on payment for sexual companionship, it takes 2 very special people to convert that over to true love and intimacy. Guess we are not very special people.

L2B

This isn't love connection. This is "Let's fuck then go our separate ways" connection.

Life and love always find a way when it's right. I cannot say I would or wouldn't, but I do know that when two people fall in love they are willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to make it work. The hobbyist quits, the provider stops providing. Personally, I wouldn't care if my woman kept providing. There, of course, would be certain rules, but if she's a true professional, there really wouldn't be a difference for her. This is just my opinion.

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt...and the 2 kids!

Married a stripper / provider after a whirlwind romance that at the time felt like true love. 2 kids within a year and a month validates the incredible sex, desire, and passion felt...or so I thought.

Now divorced after a little over a year of marriage and having to deal with the immaturity, bipolar condition of her (and probably me too) while co-parenting 2 small children is a challenge and an every other weekend reminder of love lost, or the worst decision of my life - depending on my optimism / cynicism meter that day.

I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that both providers and us hobbyists are not wired correctly emotionally, mentally, whatever you want to label it. The melancholy ennui of day to day life simply did not offer enough excitement, and was incorrectly labeled as poor partner choice by her. No internal introspection or accountability occurred whatsoever.

Of course when a relationship begins and is based on payment for sexual companionship, it takes 2 very special people to convert that over to true love and intimacy. Guess we are not very special people.

L2B Originally Posted by Like2Bone

The melancholy ennui of day to day life simply did not offer enough excitement - well put!!

Hobbyists make for the worst husbands. We are self-centered, childish, selfish, clingy, territorial, manipulative, egotistical, and paranoid. Oh, and we're habitual liars. And we can be very charming, resourceful, and persuasive when we need to.

Love can happen regardless of the circumstances. But given the baggage being in this lifestyle brings to both sides, the odds against it working are so high it has to be an exceedingly rare event. If I were young, single, and rich, then maybe. But then again, If I were young, single, and rich I doubt I would be trying to marry a hooker.

Given your line of work, why would you care if he cheated? Originally Posted by Trill Jackson

I don't know if you meant this as rude as I interpreted it, but I thought I'd reply to your comment. It is a valid question. From the way I view it, if I was in a relationship and I was still providing...I would not feel like I was cheating on my partner. This is my job. This is no different, to me, than going to work for Corporate America. If you handle yourself as a provider professionally and look at this as a career, etc...then I don't find it the same as cheating. This would also mean that your partner would have to respect what you do and know that it is your line of work. With that being said, she is very right and entitled to care that her ex-partner cheated. Just my two cents, any way...

Life and love always find a way when it's right. I cannot say I would or wouldn't, but I do know that when two people fall in love they are willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to make it work. The hobbyist quits, the provider stops providing. Personally, I wouldn't care if my woman kept providing. There, of course, would be certain rules, but if she's a true professional, there really wouldn't be a difference for her. This is just my opinion. Originally Posted by Richardtx

Richard, I couldn't agree with you more!

As for myself, I think I would marry a hobbyist, if I fell in love. No more babies for me, though!

I did. Thirteen years or so ago. Together for fifteen. Divorced for seven. We now co-parent (after some early rough spots) our 11 year old son, very well together.

He was very emotionally damaged from his childhood and is an isolate. He was verbally and sometimes physically abusive because of this.
I am not a woman who tolerates that from any man - hence, we are no longer married.
We have a peaceable existence now, because of what our son needs.

There was no need for 'more excitement' or longing for the hobby. He was a 'one woman' guy. I wasn't restless or bored.

To label all of us in this world as 'broken' while sounding as tho' the rest of the world gets a mental health 'pass' is a misconception.
There are many that are emotionally damaged from childhood trauma, I agree, and yes, they gravitate to a world that perpetuates that self-loathing and shame.
But, there are just as many 'damaged' folks trying to figure it out, getting married, having kids, getting divorced, sticking it out in long term marriages, numbing out w/ other vices and so on...

Sorry for the soap box
I just tend to keep getting into 'hobby relationships' - several serious and long term, because they have a built in understanding(they don't get to judge), and I don't have to live a double life.

Apologies to the OP...I talk a lot and there is too much drama, in Austin, right now to even talk about ANYTHING real

Ya'll carry on

No….since I have no desire to be married or have babies with any man. :-)