Some Actual Food for Thought - Emotional Intimacy in the Hobby

I don't know about you guys, but I've been super bored lately by the co-ed discussion topics as of late.

I know there are lots of interesting and educated hobbyists (ladies and gents alike) here in Houston, so thought I would attempt to raise the calibre of this forum, for once.

(This attempt is probably, seriously misguided, as I am sure the usual rude assses and naysayers will try and have their fun, but so be it.)

I read an article recently. Two psychologists surveyed 100 men who hobby, and asked them why they do it.

For 48 of those men, one of the main reasons was an attempt to find some emotional intimacy.

This actually surprised me quite a lot. I have my own ideas/opinions on why gents do it, and I know and understand that men aren't always purely driven by a physical need, but I guess I just didn't expect such a high number (basically half) to cite such a reason.

Furthermore, I feel like a lot of men would never be publicly vocal about such a thing, since you guys can be silly about your showing your emotions, etc.


Just curious on other gents thoughts about this, and if you're comfortable sharing, please do.

I hoppy cause I like pornographic sex with pretty girls - but I do need gfe - can't do the whole emotionless - cold mechanical thing - I like when a girl is all smiles when I arrive -

Not "put the donation on the dresser and get comfortable."

I might reply after my Hallmark movie is over.

And I stop weeping.

Not me. Just here for pussy. The less emotional the better. Also the younger, thinner, tighter, and lacking gag reflex the better.

I think for some of my longtime friends, they use our time together for many purposes, to gripe about the wife,talk about the Asshat boss,get a start to finish bj...(apparently one you walk down the isle THAT stops) and some I've found truly enjoy having someone to talk to without any side effects like emotions or feelings. And I believe that being able to do that does fill an emotional void for some. I've quit asking or even rally wondering WHY they hobby,and just try to fill the need. Honestly I'd be surprised if even the most "active" hobbiest would even acknowledge the emotional intimacy that we as providers, provide.But I'm glad to see something more than who gives the best Bbbj in co-ed.

I hoppy cause I like pornographic sex with pretty girls - but I do need gfe - can't do the whole emotionless - cold mechanical thing - I like when a girl is all smiles when I arrive -

Not "put the donation on the dresser and get comfortable." Originally Posted by cr76

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I agree that even if you both know it's not a real gf, it's nice to have some level of intimacy during a sesh. It certainly makes things more enjoyable on my end (as the provider) then just being used as a sex factory.

I might reply after my Hallmark movie is over.

And I stop weeping. Originally Posted by GlobeSpotter

I always knew you were a softy.

Not me. Just here for pussy. The less emotional the better. Also the younger, thinner, tighter, and lacking gag reflex the better. Originally Posted by tbone77494

Nothing wrong with loving pussy, lols. I tend to agree with you about that.

I think for some of my longtime friends, they use our time together for many purposes, to gripe about the wife,talk about the Asshat boss,get a start to finish bj...(apparently one you walk down the isle THAT stops) and some I've found truly enjoy having someone to talk to without any side effects like emotions or feelings. And I believe that being able to do that does fill an emotional void for some. I've quit asking or even rally wondering WHY they hobby,and just try to fill the need. Honestly I'd be surprised if even the most "active" hobbiest would even acknowledge the emotional intimacy that we as providers, provide.But I'm glad to see something more than who gives the best Bbbj in co-ed. Originally Posted by nikkivikkisix

I agree. I enjoy when I can actually connect a bit more with my clients, even engaging with them on different levels outside of the session time.

I luv my S.O and have a close emotional bond that could never be diluted by sex. But i feel that's the reason i dont hobby as much as my Smaller Head would like. I let feelings of guilt stop me from going all in. One day i will learn to separate the two or not hobby at all. I have only one FS encounter here which was great but a little awkward on my part because i couldn't totally lose myself in the moment. But when i get back on the saddle i know i will allow myself a more memorable moment .

So who's gonna be the lucky lady? Hmmmmmm

So who's gonna be the lucky lady? Hmmmmmm Originally Posted by maineblame

You could always start off slow and easy with a nice, long, slow and luxurious, sensual massage.

I got in the hobby to replace something I was no longer getting at home. I've learned in the short time I've been doing this is no matter how good looking the provider is or how good the bj or pussy is if there's not some kind of connection it's not worth repeating. There are only a select few that I have seen more than once.

Pay, Fuck, Leave ... That's as emotional as I get, but I am friendly and a gentleman. A great fuck is good emotional, spiritual and physical therapy, but I keep that to myself.

I think for some of my longtime friends, they use our time together for many purposes, to gripe about the wife,talk about the Asshat boss,get a start to finish bj...(apparently one you walk down the isle THAT stops) and some I've found truly enjoy having someone to talk to without any side effects like emotions or feelings. And I believe that being able to do that does fill an emotional void for some. I've quit asking or even rally wondering WHY they hobby,and just try to fill the need. Honestly I'd be surprised if even the most "active" hobbiest would even acknowledge the emotional intimacy that we as providers, provide.But I'm glad to see something more than who gives the best Bbbj in co-ed. Originally Posted by nikkivikkisix

What a complete waste ... go see a Provider and spend time talking about your wife, you asshole boss or your job. What kind of fucking losers do that. The whole idea is to go see a Provider to forget about all that crap and disappear from the world for an hour or two

Bla Bla Bla... This is the shit you have blog for correct?

I much rather see the same woman multiple times over seeing a different chick every time. I fit the mold of the article you read, I think. I'm married to a gorgeous woman, but we have totally drifted apart romantically. We are still "friends," I suppose.

BUT, I'm still horny and I do get lonely.

When she decided to stop fucking and not hold up her end of the deal and not even bother trying to work out our problems, I was left with four options as I see it:

#1.) Divorce.
Of course that means not being able to see my kids daily and only be a part-time parent. Also, of course, child support X 3. Having to find a new place AND pay for a place for them (she wouldn't have anywhere for her and the kids to live at.) And the fact that some other guy will be living under the same roof as my kids at some point. Destroying my intact family and devastating me economically. Bad option.

#2.) Girl on the side.
They tend to get "emotional" and feelings can develop making for tricky situations. Hard not to get caught eventually. As my buddy found out, a "jilted" mistress can be a nightmare. Bad option.

#3.) Jerk off constantly.
It's free, disease-free, and you can imagine fucking whoever you want. But, that's only going to work for so long. After a while loneliness and carpal tunnel will cause you to get tired of it. A woman's touch is needed at some point. Bad option.

My choice:

Option #4 - HOOKERS!!!
If you do research, minimal chance of getting caught by LE. Paying for it puts the emphasis on "my needs" and the "fuck and go" nature of a hooker encounter minimizes possible "real" feelings developing by the chick. Cons: Costs a lot of fucking money and using a rubber is just awful.

But, it's the best option for me to keep my family together, minimize getting caught, and still have at least a semblance of an IOP. I know it' fake. But if you build at least a "friendship" with the provider, it becomes a passable substitute for a woman that actually has true romantic feelings.

Sex with someone I care about will ALWAYS be better than with someone who is basically a socket.

Why? You know sometimes I don't think I really know why and at other times maybe. I know I don't have to hobby but I do anyway at times. Guess it's all about emotion for me and a curiousness and inquisitiveness about behavioral patterns (including my own) across a broad spectrum; all against the backdrop of how I came up. However, if I had to pick a something I guess it would be that I lost a smart and beautiful friend very close to me (purely platonic friendship) in the most dramatic of fashions and I've never recovered from it and likely never will. So maybe these type of connections serve as an outlet?

Without over psycho-analyzing myself maybe that's it for me. This song along with the Fray's "Save a Life" and a few others got me through many a night; very cathartic. The Hennessy didn't help at all.