Who is actually "COOL WITH" (and can handle) having a Provider as an S.O.?

Years ago dated a girl and found out some time later that she was providing. Originally Posted by cucksub

I had the opposite happen. A girl I dated years ago one day showed-up as a brand new provider on ASPD (a few yrs after we stopped dating). She was new to the business and she even ended-up being on ECCIE for a short time before retiring. I never contacted her or let her know I was on either site. It would've been cool though if I'd meet her while she was a provider, instead of prior to it, that would've been hot!!!

The thought of my SO being on a date, at a hotel or even in the next room with the door locked and having incredible sex makes me horny beyond words......if my SO became a hotwife and took lovers, I'd be really turned on. Originally Posted by cucksub

+1...especially if she'd later on tell what they did

I think the challenge is if the SO is a provider, could the both of us continue to have the deep meaningful relationship without the jealousy or feelings of guilt that can eat away at the core reason we committed to each other from the very beginning. Originally Posted by Clouddancer

Funny you mention that because just the other day I was thinking about the movie Indecent Proposal, and Woody Harrelson letting his acceptance of the 1M offer from Robert Redford, to bang Demi Moore (his wife), eat him up with guilt. It wouldn't bother me a bit. It's just sex, jimmy up and let's find a deposit slip. Heck I'd hope whatever girl I was with wouldn't think twice about it if she was offered a fraction of that, just give me the juicy details afterwards.

I wanna be Jules' boyfriend so I can find out.

I truly don't know. Probably means that's a 'no'.

I agree with Bushaholic's list of things that would definitely derail the relationship for me - if she's doing activities with clients but not with me, if her work significantly affects her desire to have sex with me or her enthusiasm when we're actually doing it. If we had our 'own' days/nights where she didn't work, then maybe. Maybe.

But knowing myself, I think in the long run I would really struggle with it. I know that I would always want her to quit - and to be fair, if she did then I would quit hobbying as well. I'm certain I would have times when I'd wonder if I was enough for her, and if the hobby was how we met I'm also sure that I'd worry that she'd find someone better than me. Define better however you want - better looking, more $$, whatever. I just know it would be a challenge for me.

Even if I exclude the sexual component of the relationship, I don't know that it would work. I'm pretty much an introvert and generally speaking - yes, I realize I'm making a broad generalization here - providers tend to be extroverts. I don't think I'd be happy and I don't think she would be either. Sure, I think we could make it work with some compromise but it would definitely present some challenges.

Back to my initial answer: I don't know.......probably not, but maybe. She'd have to be pretty special, though.

Imagine being home while she's in a session and you can hear the dude just tearing it up!!!

Hell naah!! Couldn't do it.

Imagine being home while she's in a session and you can hear the dude just tearing it up!!!

Hell naah!! Couldn't do it. Originally Posted by Rambro Creed

I have no doubt I'd get turned on if I heard it, and would likely have to pound one out before they got done lol. Different strokes for different folks (pun intended).

I agree with you B_D_M Originally Posted by ItalianaPrincess

I would love to discuss our agreement in person. You are one provocative, beautiful woman.

My last SO was a provider. We also were indulging in the swinging lifestyle as well. I enjoyed watching her at parties and a lot of times even when she had appointments it would turn me on. In reality she didn't really want to be a provider and in fact, didn't want us to indulge in swinging either. That's what broke us up, not providing.

The answer would be yes. Having a full connection with someone is powerful. Dont get me wrong a sexual connection is great but if you both have that full connection then at the end of the day why would it matter what she does when shes falling asleep in your arms.

I'll have to ask Reese if she is ok with me being ok with her providing. (I have asked her to marry me once or twice) What a turn on.

I could separate business from our personal relationship. The stories of her day would work me into a horny frenzy. Only issue that I could see becoming a big problem would be if she were too tired on a consistent basis to take care of my needs and desires.

Oh hell I've done it several times already..........an hour at a time.

Very Interesting thread. I have wondered about this often. Gives me hope

In my own experience between dating dancers and getting to know both dancers and providers on a very personal level, I think I'm much more concerned with the mental health issues than what she does.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but every girl in the game I've known has some pretty serious issues. They are broken in many ways. A lot of this I understand from my own personal history and I have a deep compassion for it so this isn't a put-down on anyone.

Issues of abuse, drug addiction, personality disorders and the things people have gone through are pretty intense and can cause issues in any relationship. For me, the sexual issues are relatively minor compared to the larger picture of what's going on in people's heads. Do the things that lead a girls to become a provider make a good relationship nigh unto impossible? Heck, for that matter do the things that lead to my hobbying cause the same issues from my side?

While I certainly am not judgmental about the things people do, I think I would require a huge amount of personal honesty and communication in working out the why's.

Sigh, guess my age has made me way too comfortable. I'd like to think I'd be able to do it but when it comes right down to it I think it'd be too tough. If it creeps me out to imagine some guy sneaking into my house to try on my boxers why would I tolerate him in my gf or SO.

Issues of abuse, drug addiction, personality disorders and the things people have gone through are pretty intense and can cause issues in any relationship. For me, the sexual issues are relatively minor compared to the larger picture of what's going on in people's heads. Do the things that lead a girls to become a provider make a good relationship nigh unto impossible?

Rehke,
I can see how these things could create obstacles in ANY relationship. But not all providers were abused, addicted to drugs, or have social/psychological disorders. Alot of us are simply doing what we are good at, and were not "lead into the business" down a long dark tunnel of dysfunction and abuse.
I actually started out doing licensed massages. For years I noticed how turned on I was day in and day out, so decided to take it to the next level & can't help that I enjoyed it. If you are born with natural talent for things, & you have FUN doing it.... it's kind of like, Why Not? And getting paid BooKoo's for what you're good at....well that's a no-brainer. Not many regularly employed people can even say that now days.
I'm not speaking for other providers (who may hate what they do, or have been coerced into this by a pimp, etc.) I can only speak for myself & a few of my close friends.

More along the lines of the subject matter I can say that, over the years, I've found that being a Provider CAN "mess with" our heads a bit when embarking on a civi relationship.


That's why I was asking if it works better being in a relationship with someone who KNOWS, up front, about the lady working a Provider.

Did it for 5 months with a provider. We were getting very close then she abruptly endded it. Prehaps it was more of an issue of her not being able to handle it. I was dealing with the providing part OK. Not my first choice of an occupation for her, but its part of her and I accepted all of her, not just the parts I liked. Heck, I can remember helping her clean up her incall for her next appointment several times. I delt with the providing with a little ego trick. I knew she was with me because she truly wanted to be. Others had to pay for that prevledge. helped smooth the edges a lot.

I met her as a provider so there were no secrets from that standpoint. We hit it off, we dated. Dispite many personal problems she had, it was a fantastic 5 months and I still miss her greatly to this day.

Prehaps being older, kids are all older, knowing my own many flaws gave me a bit of perspective to take the good with the "bad" and accept her as a whole person.

I would do it again if I met the right woman,