Looking for a relationship with a provider?

I was just married for 10 years and was a "slut" for my job (meaning, I worked 6 days a week and spent the rest of my time with a blackberry). My ex was cheating on me with an old flame from high school, then cheated on him with a poker buddy (her poker buddy) and then cheated on both of them with her (female) cousin (by marriage).

I am dating now. I am not a bad catch. A normal guy really. However, in the back of mind I am always wondering if I am the first or second guy that she has kissed today.

Honestly, if a provider wanted to be with me (without treating me like a wallet), then at least I would know that I was first in someone's life and not a doormat. The idea that she is "pleasing" other men is kind of a turn on if she comes home every night to me (and does the dishes).

The idea that she is "pleasing" other men is kind of a turn on if she comes home every night to me (and does the dishes). Originally Posted by texascoffee

I think that is a turn on for a lot of men who consider a provider as a gf...until they don't get any for a day, or two days, or four days...or longer...knowing that she still "worked" that week.

on the other topic...

I don't mind doing the dishes (in the kitchen - if we are on the same actual subject here)...as long as I don't also have to cook. I'll clean all day long. (bake too). Cooking - that would be considered a treat. (guess that's why I've tried to make sure all the men in my life were excellent cooks)

I think that is a turn on for a lot of men who consider a provider as a gf...until they don't get any for a day, or two days, or four days...or longer...knowing that she still "worked" that week.

Nobody likes to be ignored for days and days. If your job turns you off to sex with me, that would suck lol (or not!).

I think it is the opposite of what you think actually. After working 60 hours a week, doing the kids' homework, cooking, cleaning (ok, I have a maid - bleh), I don't want sex every night (those guys die early from heart failure! No thanks!).

Better, is great sex in spurts and kinky talk about your job (or kinky talk about mine if you are into the bond market lol).

Who wants a relationship when it's still legal to Bowl.

I think that is a turn on for a lot of men who consider a provider as a gf...until they don't get any for a day, or two days, or four days...or longer...knowing that she still "worked" that week. Originally Posted by tntangie

This is exactly what I'm referring to. If I met a guy in the hobby and feelings came from it.....the above scenerio would come up. Especially if it turned him on knowing all the fun I've been having with other friends.

My ex hubby would get really excited watching me with others, but sometimes there was nothing left for him

Right -

and this is where that "implied pressure" - or even somewhat imagined pressure I was talking about comes up.

When both parties work - it can be hard to manage things to have the sex life you both want.

I don't want to "give in" to it every time just to meet what he wants - yes, sometimes.

But if I can think about all the dirty stuff he's gonna be doing to me at the end of the week when expense reports or that one project isn't the main stresser on his mind and I've cleared my schedule and the main thing on MY MIND is being his dirty slut whore cum sucking bitch...

Yeah,

now THAT I am down with.

I know it's not the dream sex that a guy who thinks about being with a "provider" imagines...but as I say all the time...I'm somewhat a realist.

No. You pretty much nailed it Angie.

The last thing a guy wants is to have to perform on demand after a stressful day. Why should it be any different for a provider? A job is a job.

Relationships are less sex and more being available to share good and bad news. Having somebody to rely on and complain to when something at work blows up.

I am not saying that I want a relationship at all lol. I just disagree that it should be any different with a provider. If anything, introducing her at the corporate Christmas party would be a rush!

I agree Texas well put

QUOTE=texascoffee;1960760]No. You pretty much nailed it Angie.

The last thing a guy wants is to have to perform on demand after a stressful day. Why should it be any different for a provider? A job is a job.

Relationships are less sex and more being available to share good and bad news. Having somebody to rely on and complain to when something at work blows up.

I am not saying that I want a relationship at all lol. I just disagree that it should be any different with a provider. If anything, introducing her at the corporate Christmas party would be a rush![/QUOTE]

when i was dating my provider a while back i understood we weren't going to have a normal sex life which i was okay with... i made sure not to put any pressure on her because of her work... this taught me to be more attentive, affectionate, make her feel special we would just kiss and cuddle on the couch... and when we did have relations it was the most intense love making

when i was dating my provider a while back i understood we weren't going to have a normal sex life which i was okay with... i made sure not to put any pressure on her because of her work... this taught me to be more attentive, affectionate, make her feel special we would just kiss and cuddle on the couch... and when we did have relations it was the most intense love making Originally Posted by kenpachi

Ken,
Will you marry me?

when i was dating my provider a while back i understood we weren't going to have a normal sex life which i was okay with... i made sure not to put any pressure on her because of her work... this taught me to be more attentive, affectionate, make her feel special we would just kiss and cuddle on the couch... and when we did have relations it was the most intense love making Originally Posted by kenpachi

Same here when I dated a provider. It started as fuck buddies doing it any time we could then quickly evolved to more time spent out of bed but together. Just like a non-provider relationship. More friendship, less but more special sex. I think in 5 months I pushed her to have sex only 1 or 2 times. I knew she wanted to be with me so I could wait till she was ready. Thank goodness she wanted it a lot! :-)

when i was dating my provider a while back i understood we weren't going to have a normal sex life which i was okay with... i made sure not to put any pressure on her because of her work... this taught me to be more attentive, affectionate, make her feel special we would just kiss and cuddle on the couch... and when we did have relations it was the most intense love making Originally Posted by kenpachi

You got it RIGHT.

And a very smart man made a very good point to me once. (not to long ago)

This is for ALL YOU MEN out there...towards any woman you are with.

(and ladies - this is for you too)

Sometimes you need to know how to make love to your partner...

Sometimes you need to know how to fuck your partner...

The combination of both equals an AMAZING sex life. (In theory - it should keep them coming back for more - no pun intended)

Lesson One, Verses 1 - 2 from the Book of TNTAngie...

I'll have to remember those.

I find this topic particularly thought-provoking and relevant. It's all about *energy* to me. Many occupations or day's agend (raising children or working at the salt mine) give or take energy. If your occupation gives you such energy that makes you want to knock his/her socks off at night, that could be good. If all your energy goes to pleasing someone else so there is no gas in the tank for those at home, that could be detrimental - providing or any other occupation. I forget the book that talked about how we fill the cup of love. But it seems appropriate regardless of the occupation.

Most doctors don't treat their own family. A good lawyer will find somebody detached to represent his family also. Does a good provider outsource as well? Hmmm.