"I Know Her REAL Name..."

Because I visit a lady several times in a row, a high degree of trust is built. In the cuddling afterglow trust is at its highest point and certain info may spill out. I deem it my responsibility to maintain that trust and keep afterglow talk between me and that lady. Period.

I find it disappointing to hear that some gentlemen view this trust as a bartering point or a sign of power. Sex and money are two of the most powerful elements of human nature and we're dealing with both in the Hobby. We all have a responsibility to each other to maintain the trust we must have with each other.

Geez, does that sound preachy or what?

*Last week I had a Provider PM me with a follow up to an appointment she had with a well known Hobbyist whom I gave an okay.
She explained some things that reminded me of why I didn't see him any longer.
He had diarrhea of the mouth about our activities, how "close" we were and all of the time we spent Non-BCD at "Social" gatherings.

Clearly, he got it twisted.

From what I got based on her PM -
I don't appreciate the picture he painted to her, nor do I give two shits for her attitude if I chose to engage with any Hobbyist OFF THE CLOCK.

The last I checked, we are all fucking for money, so I refuse to allow anyone tell me how to run my business.
No one is better than anyone here and I am a Veteran now opinion is not needed. Originally Posted by berkleigh

A provider asked you for a ref then had a negative experience with the guy.

Then the provider followed up with you, so you would know that he is telling your business to people he doesn't know (do you know her?).

And this upsets you?

Geez, does that sound preachy or what? Originally Posted by LucadeJure

In this case, preachy is sexy.

A provider asked you for a ref then had a negative experience with the guy.

Then the provider followed up with you, so you would know that he is telling your business to people he doesn't know (do you know her?).

And this upsets you? Originally Posted by Caitie Mae

What upsets me is that you want to call me out here because I haven't answered your fucking PM fast enough.

*And put your business out there and draw attention to you and I both!

I am fucking busy.

Its 6:52pm and I am headed out to have a Birthday Dinner for my 6 year old with my Family so I won't be responding to your PM or posts here.

And I suggest you don't contact me about it any further because I have nothing else to say.

Sometimes it just happens or has to - for example buying airline tickets.... Which I did - fast forward five years (4 after last contact with my "good friend / provider") and she decides to call my house and chat with my wife....thank god I outed myself a couple of years back - so lesson to all - be careful with personal information. Originally Posted by mtabsw

There's a pretty damn big difference between knowing a girl's real name and going out of your way to make sure others know you know her real name.

I've been in the hobby for a little more over 6 yrs. Some guys I've known for awhile only know my first name or last name. But I'm careful to why I share it with them. If I am on the social sites and get requests I do ignore the fellas cuz I keep hobby and real life separate. Yes some things in our life need to stay private.

First and foremost, I believe that discretion is an absolute requirement in this hobby. If I knew the name of a provider, I would never dream of sharing it with anyone else.

But the reality is that some value discretion more than others. Therefore, I would suggest that if you don't want to risk your personal information getting out, then don't share it with anyone at all. Personally, I have forgone seeing providers in the past who wanted my full identification. I understand their right to properly and thoroughly screen. It is also my right to go somewhere else if I don't want that information out there. Just because a provider assures discretion, doesn't guarantee it. I'm sure that most are very responsible with the info, but some are not. In that same light, if a provider shares her info with a client, she is taking a risk, probably more than the other way around. It is very difficult to hold a client accountable.

So what, then, is his intent for bringing up another providers real name? I see no other reason than to try to make himself sound trustworthy because someone else has given up that info to him. He probably thinks that it will gain him some benefit. Ironically, he doesn't see that it actually exposes his lack of trustworthiness.

“I Know Her REAL Name…” If I had a penny for every time I heard this statement. It’s usually followed either by silence to get a reaction... (wait for it...wait for it) OR by personal information about the provider. Sometimes a story or two are shared to “PROVE” that he really does know her real name. Example: “We took our kids to the park. Can you believe that?
My question has nothing to do with whether a provider chooses to step outside of the boundaries or not. Listen, I get it. Sometimes there is natural chemistry with some individuals regardless of how they met. At the same time, I do not appreciate a hobbyist disclosing a provider’s personal life to me. That’s when I say…”I do not want to know. It’s none of my business.”

So…please help me to understand…what exactly is the message that a hobbyist is trying to convey when he makes such a statement? I'd like to hear from provider's and gents.
My first reaction is one of apprehension…”Oh no, this guy is on a mission to obtain my info as well.” After all, why do I need to know that he knows her name?

What is the psychology behind knowing her real name?
1. Yes! I get to be her friend on facebook!
2. Yes! I am now her “advisor” and will protect her.
3. Yes! She loves me but won't admit it.

4. Yes! Free sex! Free extended visits.

5. Yes! Now I REALLY know her. I’m sure her family/friends know her real name and yet may not even know about her profession.



Until then....... Originally Posted by Shiloh Stevens

I've heard this thousands of times. The minute a guy says that I say " I DON'T need to know 'her real name.' " It's like he's in on a secret, that this other provider 'shared' her personal info with him, and maybe he expects me to do the same, or he's got bragging rights to that other provider that she let him in on her life and not 'other clients' or whatever. In any case I don't like it when clients (or other providers for that matter) claim to know someone's 'real name'. Because unless you've really seen their birth certificate LOL how do you REALLY KNOW that's their 'real name' anyways.

i personally keep any info prvt

i personally keep any info prvt Originally Posted by kenpachi

Good idea, the less you tell, the less they know, and it's best to be that way sometimes. It avoids gossip and then the crazy providers or clients who might threaten to 'reveal' or 'out' you somehow. I just use my inner judgement on how much I CHOOSE to reveal.

i personally keep any info prvt Originally Posted by kenpachi

Me too, Kenpachi...I like keeping info pervert, too.

i personally keep any info prvt Originally Posted by kenpachi

tisk, tisk.

everyone knows..your name is kenny.

LOL

(bleach joke)

It is interesting on every ones take so far. I think it is pretty lame to use real life whatever way acquired as leverage on a provider or hobbiest for personal gain. Tntangie sorry for outing you as i did reese but your name is Sanaa Lathan smooches

I know a lot of MF'ers real names. Big deal. Then again, I'm not the kind that would be scumbag enough to use that info against anyone. If you ARE the type to try to blackmail and extort, then you're a bitch made MF'er and you need to be shot in the face. That's just how I feel about it. Your opinions may vary.

In this business that's breaking the code to out someone or use their info in a self serving way. We all wear 'masks' to a degree in this arena, and if you got MF'ers yelling, "Bruce Wayne is Batman!", that's just bulldshit.

Two guys in the last two guys I met off eccie added me on Facebook which I thought was extra weird because one of them Ive never seen before, only screened him. How and where he got my info really freaks me out. Of course I declined the request. hmmmmmm