No AA - why not?

Ladies, I have a couple of friends who are brothers who get rejected because of their ethnicity. Before a reason is given the dail tone prevails. What is the major problem here? Just curious, thanks.

Seriously, now that's a subject that is like playing with a loaded gun while on Ambein taken after a few shots of tequila and the manner in which you have written your question stating: "What is the major problem here?" could be construed to be confrontational and might set a tone that could lead more than a few to feel they may not be respected for their position if they do dare answer your question . . . And, this topic is actually a "sticky" thread in the National section. IMHO, all that will be accomplished in discussing it here in KC "proper" (this specific sub-forum) will be that some feelings may be hurt (as misinterpretations may run rampant within a thread such as which this might become), some people's perceptions of members that do answer the OP's question or take part in the dialogue at all might be permanently changed (unfairly - again, going back to those misinterpretations which are absolutely inherent in discussions of this topic), and, in the end, probably more than a few members will wind up catching points for violations - and that will then lead to some emotions running wild and someone getting themselves banned; our volunteer moderators have been instructed to have little tolerance for "No AA" threads going astray and to keep them (such threads) on a very tight leash . . . Plus, all of this (which I have outlined) has actually happened previously in KC, with members being pointed off the board to take a vacation over what they have said during the course of addressing this very topic . . .

Why not simply discuss this on the national forum (link below) where there are already close to 1700 posts (and that's in just ONE of the threads, there are so many other threads that address this same exact issue that one couldn't reasonably begin to even count all of them . . .)?? I would bet that somewhere within those 112 plus pages of replies, you might realize that 1) there isn't an easy answer to your question as everyone is different, and the reasons a lady might have for a no AA policy are MANY (and certainly not indicative of whether or not she may [or may not] be racist) and 2) ULTIMATELY it is "her body, her choice" and frankly, no reason need be given / offered or expected and 3) in the bottom-line final analysis, it really doesn't matter (the "why" of it) . . . If you are an AA gentleman and a lady doesn't want to see you, why on Earth would you really want to see them? Spending time with someone that doesn't want to see you would be a complete waste of hard earned "hobby" money - it isn't like you would expect a good session, would you? . . . Better to just move on down the list and give your money to those that are colorblind, which seems to be the overwhelming consensus with the gentlemen in those threads.

Jackie makes a great point and it doesn't apply to anything other then what it is. If a provider doesn't want to see you, you shouldn't want to see them. Its thats simple regardless of the extra baggage.

I hope this doesn't get me any points.

No further comments are necessary, Jackie said all that needs to be said in her excellent summarization.

The problem with people that ask this question is that rarely listen. I could respond with any reason......"They remind me of smurfs!" And still get called a racist bitch. I'm always willing to enter into a dialog but only if it isn't baiting.

Just don't call yourself a "public accomodation"

Just don't call yourself a "public accomodation" Originally Posted by JackJohnson

Jack hit the nail on the head.

Just because a woman sees some guys doe not mean that she is prohibited from refusing service to anyone she wants, for whatever reason she wants; that reason could be: tall, short, thin, fat, wrong race, too young, or too old, not clean, or a nerd. Well, I came to it. I am a nerd by the second definition:

1. A foolish or contemptible person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious: "one of those nerds who never asked a girl to dance".
2. An intelligent, single-minded expert in a particular technical discipline or profession.

Humor aside and now to make my point. There have been several studies done of the AA community and the results that the women AA tend to treat the AA men in a different way than the other racial groups, not just the white group. The AA men just don't get the same respect for their work and achievements as men from other groups. Some have concluded that this is one of the reasons that the AA community tends to lag behind the achievements of other racial groups. With that bit of knowledge; it is understandable that the reaction of some, but not all, AA men to women may be different from other men.

Please read what I said, and not jump to a conclusion. You can not take a generalized statement about a large group of people and take that statement to a specific individual.

Put another way a lot of AA guys just have not figured out the belittlement of some of the AA women and they don't yet understand their resentment. The should not take the resentment to all women. But should not and do not are different things.

Are you bored by the nerd yet?


JR

Are you bored by the nerd yet?
JR Originally Posted by JRLawrence

Definitely! You left yourself wide open for that one!

Sorry but this is not as simple as a certain provider not wish to see a certain gentleman. This is something that appears to be wide spread and frankly needs an explaination. So let's air it out.

It has BEEN aired out, that was my point in my previous posting (and, the search function is your friend - there are multiple threads prior to this one addressing this issue in KC) . . .

So let's air it out. Originally Posted by mackdaddy

But, it has been aired out. Over and over again. Jackie pointed the OP to a thread on the national board with over 1700 posts. And we've covered it here as well. Multiple times.

But if you want it aired out, go ahead. You'll find as many reasons for the restriction as there are individual providers. Some of the reasons we've heard (or heard postulated).

• The girl has a black boyfriend or husband and she doesn't want to see black clients
• The girl has a black boyfriend or husband and he doesn't want her to see black clients
• The girl has had bad experiences with black clients in the past
• The girl believes that a black man is more likely to be a pimp who wants to manage her
• The girl has a pimp and he doesn't want her to risk getting poached by another pimp
• The girl believes that she will get more (white) clients if they think she doesn't see black clients
• The girl is just overall racist
• and
• the
• list
• goes
• on
  

Pick one. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter why.

Edit: Haha, Jackie beat me to it.

Thank you, KCQuestor for the links, and, well said. We must have been posting at the same time - LOL.

Sorry but this is not as simple as a certain provider not wish to see a certain gentleman. This is something that appears to be wide spread and frankly needs an explaination. So let's air it out. Originally Posted by mackdaddy

It needs an explaination? Why? Its her body, she can see who she wants. Every business has the right to refuse service to anyone.

Us ladies don't say that your decisions to see certain providers NEEDS an explaination. Its your decision and we live with it. No biggie, we haven't lost anything if you don't call us because of your reasons. We don't hound you for answers.

This makes me think of the movie Full Metal Jacket.

Remember that a little respect will open more locked legs then it will close!


It does not matter how dead a horse is, someone always seems to come along and wants to beat it some more.


Okay that was my worthless couple of pennies.