This is for ladies AND gents...What do u think about this scenario...

That sounds like a great business model, Soft Place To Land. I wouldn't hold you to ALL 3sessions of extra time though because it seems excessive. I wouldn't want anything that doesn't seem fair.

my comments below stem from my firm belief in personal responsibility. each of us makes our own choices, each of us should accept responsibility for our choices and the consequences on ourselves and others. we are NOT responsible for the choices others make nor the consequences of their actions.

my cards are on the table.

Ok, last weekend I had a guy call and schedule an appointment for 1:30 on Saturday afternoon. I said it was fine and to call me to confirm once it was closer to the appt time. Ok, he sends a txt, and unfortunately I had an emergency to take care of (for all of you who dont know, my left hand is in a cast due to an accident i had) and that could we reschedule for 4:30 instead.

he said that was fine. Once it came time for the appointment, I was unable to return his calls, or txts because my emergency ran over the time i thought it would take to handle the situation.

Now this guy is PMing me saying that he wasted alot of time because he still made the trip to my side of town DESPITE no response from me to confirm the appointment and that i should givee him a 'discount'....(i knew that was coming..lol)

What i want to know is if you guys/girls think i am responsible for his 'wasted' time even though he didnt get in contact with me and STILL DECIDED to come on his own free will?? Originally Posted by brooke_banks69

yep, emergencies happens. and sometimes, even tho it might be possible to contact someone when that happens, sometimes you just cant.

if this happened between you and me, and if you contacted me to explain why you couldnt contact me, i would understand.

now, if things went as you stated, and he said HE wasted his time and that you SHOULD GIVE him a discount, then i'd say he was being an egocentric dick. he chose to spend the time as he did. he does not run your life and how you live it.

however, if this happened between you and me and we really wanted to get together, i should be understanding about your situation. and it would be nice if you offered some sort of compensation [time and/or money and/or ???]. if you did, great. if you didnt, great. how our encounter turns out would help me decide whether or not i wanted to visit you again.

... He agreed to the reschedule at a specified later time, and you didn't respond to his attempts at confirming the later time. I know you said you had an emergency and were unable but in his mind he may think he had a firm time slot and was a NC/NS victim.

To put it in perspective, sometimes the way things appear matter more than the way things are. If you have enough doubt to ask the question in a public forum, you already know the answer even if it is not the one you would prefer. Weigh that against how badly you want to have this fella as a client.
Either way, I hope it works out. Originally Posted by steverino50

it appears that the guy made a decision and came to a conclusion WITHOUT knowing all the particulars of the interaction. to me, for him to start basing his decisions on that incomplete information is unwarranted and, again, egocentric.

I think he's being a little aggressive in demanding a discount, but I will say this: if I had done that to a lady, I would feel bad about it and would want to compensate her in some way.

I personally wouldn't ask the lady for a discount, but I probably wouldn't try to see her again either. Originally Posted by RoDunn

based on what brooke wrote, i'd say he was being overly assertive but not agressive. oh, and being an egocentric dick [damn, am i repeating myself??]

whether or not she let me know what happen would affect how i felt about rescheduling, but dismissing her cos of what happened seems premature to me.

I'm posting this with the idea that you truly want honest input. Originally Posted by SoftPlaceToLand

me too!!

... how well do you take care of your clients? Every single one is unique and special and most of them are used to a business mind. One that takes care of the client above all... it seems to me, based on the scenario you have presented that you are in fact at fault and the very least you can do is offer him an additional 30-45 min for his lost time. Originally Posted by SoftPlaceToLand

well, i'd only say that brooke is responsible for what happened to her, how she reacted, and that her actions/choices rippled out into the universe, including to her client.
he is responsible for entering into the interaction with her AND how he reacted to the events that took place.
i wouldnt say she or he are at fault, unless you're using "fault" as in insurance and liability.
he is not responsible for what caused her emergency, what happened afterwards, or how she did/did not communicate with him.
she is not responsible for why he wanted to visit her, how he felt when he didnt visit her, what he believed happened, nor how he reacted to all of this.
i would say they are responsible for the choices they made.
to say otherwise puts a lot of unreasonable burden on one person for another person's choices.

...
He put effort into you because he thought you were worth the effort and fee it takes to see you....

You have an opportunity here. It's a choice on how important this one client is to you ...

It's not his fault you had shit happen. You are the business, he is the client... you work to please him (or this is seriously the wrong job for you baby.) Looking at this as a business you really have no choice but to compensate him for the loss of his entire day to what looks like "just another provider's BS." <- I did not say it WAS, but from the outside with only your word, that's exactly what it looks like. I believe that is what meg was thinking from her post. I'm not nearly as kind when it comes to business.

Baby please see this as instruction. I had to learn this from the sub-terrain up. Don't be upset at being called on this. This is a perfect chance for growth. Use it. Originally Posted by SoftPlaceToLand

soft place, we've met several times and i would say that you do have your heart in your business and do your best to assist other women as they live and breath in this sub-culture.

so, i mildly disagree with part of this.
yes, he attempted to have an interaction with her.
yes, she attempted to have an interaction with him.
yes, the interaction did not complete.
yes, in the interests of her future interactions, she would be wise to let him know why the interaction did not complete. and, as you said, if she feels he's important offer something so that a future interaction will complete.
however, she DOES have choices other than "you really have no choice but to compensate him."
and she must be responsible for whatever choice she makes and the consequences of that choice on her now and in the future.

yes, both of them can and should learn from the entire sequence of events.
and yes, for them to make choices without thinking about or considering consequences of those choices is probably short-sighted.

at least, that's how i approach interactions and what happens when Life makes hay of our plans.

in any case, she SHOULDNT do what we think she should do just cos we said so. i only suggest she think about the situation, consider the consequences of what she did and what she's going to do, and then do what she thinks is best for her, her business, the guy, and the universe ["no negative waves"].


so, brooke, if it were me, here's what i'd do. [btw, i'm not a provider and i dont play one on youPorn.com]
i'd communicate w/ the guy, explain my side of the story simply and without guilt, bullshit, excuses, etc.
if i really wanted to see him, i'd offer him a make-up session with some sort of reduction in fee or expansion of time.
then leave it up to him to decide.
if we actually do meet, great - and i'd do my best so he'd want to come back.
if we dont actually meet, great. i'd feel good that i put forth the effort to describe/communicate what happened.


best of luck!




and to all, if you've read all the way down it, this was my 2100-th post on eccie, according to eccie's records.

OK ready... I had this long reply written out down here in the quick reply and so all I can see is your sig line and I keep thinking, WTF, after 40's is old hags club? Isn't 60 the new 40 now?

Luv u PM!!!

Sounds like great advice! I think I have heard people who get good service will tell 5 to 10 people while people who get bad service / or a product, will tell 100. Think of the percet of customers who do reviews in general. Just my two cents, I started not to say anything, b/c it seems to have already all been said, but now I want to know how things played out so to speak.

That sounds like a great business model, Soft Place To Land. I wouldn't hold you to ALL 3sessions of extra time though because it seems excessive. I wouldn't want anything that doesn't seem fair. Originally Posted by PoppyToyota

See... it's working already. I'm telling you, this idea WORKS (If you do it right. If you don't really care, it won't work.) This is coming from a seasoned hobbyist who understands what a pisser it is to be dicked around by a provider (that's what they say behind our backs. I'm a realist.) the extra time will mean nothing to you in the long run and you can completely turn this situation around. Now don't take this as "well shit I can screw over anyone and just bait them with extra time and sad puppy eyes." You have to have alot of practice before you can pull that one. patience young padawan.


Thank you Poppy, You are the coolest!!

well..i offered him a 160 for hr instead of 200 but he insisted that i do it for 140 and when i declined he stated that i should take responsibilty for wasting his time...as far as responding to his msgs, i didnt receive them until after i left the hospital due to no reception in the rm so as soon as i walked outside, my ph went crazy with txts and voicemails...so i didnt purposely not answer him, and i politely sent a PM explaining what happened. i dont know, i just didnt like his demanding attitude so i just decided that i wouldnt see him...but thank u guys for your opinions...i really appreciate all the feedback!!

This same situation happened to me last fall. Had an appointment set up with a well known provider, and it was cancelled while I was en route. Instead if accepting the fact, I wrote a scathing review, in the heat of the moment. I have dive apologized (twice) by email, but I guess it's not going to be accepted. I really want to this lady ( you know who you are!)

That should have said want to see this lady!

LOL...I just had a similar thing happen Tuesday. I've been out of the hobby for a while but have started up again. I would never ask a provider for a discount but I wouldn't see her either and wait for a day or two before posting a NCNS or LCNS (Late Call, No Show).

In my case, there was a little confusion on sending me directions and she did call me on my cell but our connection was bad. I was not a happy camper, but wrote it off to bad luck & lesson learned. She replied with the following the next morning: "Hi (My Name), I am so sorry about last night and the goof with the directions. I’d love to see you this week if it is still possible and add an extra 30 minutes to when we meet for all this. Please let me know if I can make this up to you."

I didn't ask for a discount or extra time but she initiated the offer and that is a big plus in my book.


I am going to reschedule with her and I will pay her extra as a tip. I feel good about it, very happy, and am going to have a blast with her...I just know it! I'm actually looking forward to meeting her even more than before.

See the change in my attitude from what was a negative that turned into a huge positive? And it was that simple email in bold above that did it.

I'm a very understanding guy as long as she takes time to inform me as to what's going on. Personally if a lady told me she had an emergency I would not have tried to see her that day.

My window of opportunity is very slim because I only get 1-2 days a month to see the lady I choose. Sometimes it gets frustrating when you drive 120 miles round trip and don't see who you want. Knowing you gotta wait till the next month to try again.

I hear guys all the time say you should have a "Plan B." I try my very best to keep the time I set up. Since I don't like to get cancelled on, I don't make a "Plan B" and cancel on the second lady. To me "Plan B" means your settling and I hate the feeling of settling for anything.

Bottom line respect should always go BOTH ways.

You offered 160 which was fair and he wanted you to go further and take 140. Wow, sounds like a real gentlemen, .


Sorry honey.

well..i offered him a 160 for hr instead of 200 but he insisted that i do it for 140 and when i declined he stated that i should take responsibilty for wasting his time...as far as responding to his msgs, i didnt receive them until after i left the hospital due to no reception in the rm so as soon as i walked outside, my ph went crazy with txts and voicemails...so i didnt purposely not answer him, and i politely sent a PM explaining what happened. i dont know, i just didnt like his demanding attitude so i just decided that i wouldnt see him...but thank u guys for your opinions...i really appreciate all the feedback!! Originally Posted by brooke_banks69

Awww sweetie, so sorry to hear you're hurt!

I think u were more than fair with him. Red flag when the offended party is the first to reach for the discount coupons. He expressed his angst .....Shoulda si pat and waited for your response to his pain.

I know first-hand that you care about your business and customer satisfaction. I think you will survive whatever damage he may feel compelled to dish out via reviews or comments.

Hope u have a speedy recovery

well..i offered him a 160 for hr instead of 200 but he insisted that i do it for 140 and when i declined he stated that i should take responsibilty for wasting his time... Originally Posted by brooke_banks69

The fucktard wants an hour for 140. DO IT, just make sure you finish him off with a hand job (the hand with the cast on it). He will be more gentlemanly next time, and the scars will fade with time.

I personally get pissed when a client NCNS me. but if I do it to a client I offer a discount upon reschedule something between 20 and 40.00 off regular rate.

well..i offered him a 160 for hr instead of 200 but he insisted that i do it for 140, ... and i politely sent a PM explaining what happened. i dont know, i just didnt like his demanding attitude so i just decided that i wouldnt see him...but thank u guys for your opinions...i really appreciate all the feedback!! Originally Posted by brooke_banks69

... Well you earned my respect! Sounds like the guy was a jerk and it is his loss.